List of things you can’t do while black

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be black teenaged boys living on the Upper East Side (true story).

What’s the story.

What happened?

Without giving too many details, husband and his bro were briefly detained outside their UES home. Cops thought they fit the description of some suspects.

The description was probably “black, medium build, age: 20-30s”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be black teenaged boys living on the Upper East Side (true story).

What’s the story.

What happened?

Without giving too many details, husband and his bro were briefly detained outside their UES home. Cops thought they fit the description of some suspects.

The description was probably “black, medium build, age: 20-30s”

No, it would be "Number 1 male".

Either that or BNBG (per The Wire):

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:read this thread without rolling your eyes.

I'm not rolling my eyes at all. I'm just feeling really sad. I'm trying to wrap my head around what it must be like to raise a black child, and especially a black male, in this fukced up country.

I’m black and have a young elementary-aged daughter. I felt a little relieved when I learned we were having a girl, although I feel guilty saying it—black girls certainly have their challenges, but it doesn’t seem as dangerous out there for girls as it does for black sons.

However, even that’s not much relief, since I have a black husband and brothers.

Your black daughter is more likely to be ignored when she tells a hospital worker she's in medical distress when giving birth or shortly after, and more likely to die in or after childbirth than a white woman. The stress of being black is literally killing black women. The stress of just existing.

I follow Humans of NY on Instagram and the guy is in Ghana right now, or he was and he posted a blurb about a guy, his wife, and their son. The guy and his wife are doctors, and studied in America, but ultimately decided to raise their son back in Ghana, because there his son wouldn't have to be so aware of his blackness, he would just look like everyone around him. That really struck me - they're much more poor there, and life is much harder there. But race was their driving factor in choosing to stay. That's how important this is for them.

PP here. I know, it's tough. We as black women deal with a lot of other slings and arrows. I know one of the women featured in the recent NYT article in which black mothers told their horror stories around birth (my friend was the physician featured). We have a lot to deal with, but I wouldn't worry as much about my daughter being physically harmed when she walks out of the house--at least to the same extent as I would about my nephews, who are 16 and 19.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:read this thread without rolling your eyes.

I'm not rolling my eyes at all. I'm just feeling really sad. I'm trying to wrap my head around what it must be like to raise a black child, and especially a black male, in this fukced up country.

I’m black and have a young elementary-aged daughter. I felt a little relieved when I learned we were having a girl, although I feel guilty saying it—black girls certainly have their challenges, but it doesn’t seem as dangerous out there for girls as it does for black sons.

However, even that’s not much relief, since I have a black husband and brothers.

Your black daughter is more likely to be ignored when she tells a hospital worker she's in medical distress when giving birth or shortly after, and more likely to die in or after childbirth than a white woman. The stress of being black is literally killing black women. The stress of just existing.

I follow Humans of NY on Instagram and the guy is in Ghana right now, or he was and he posted a blurb about a guy, his wife, and their son. The guy and his wife are doctors, and studied in America, but ultimately decided to raise their son back in Ghana, because there his son wouldn't have to be so aware of his blackness, he would just look like everyone around him. That really struck me - they're much more poor there, and life is much harder there. But race was their driving factor in choosing to stay. That's how important this is for them.

PP here. I know, it's tough. We as black women deal with a lot of other slings and arrows. I know one of the women featured in the recent NYT article in which black mothers told their horror stories around birth (my friend was the physician featured). We have a lot to deal with, but I wouldn't worry as much about my daughter being physically harmed when she walks out of the house--at least to the same extent as I would about my nephews, who are 16 and 19.

P.S. Yes I also saw the HONY story about Ghana--I wanted to tell that guy, not all of the US is as racist as West Virginia! A lot of it, but not all of it. We are pretty happy where we live in a diverse part of NW DC (upper 16th).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:read this thread without rolling your eyes.

I'm not rolling my eyes at all. I'm just feeling really sad. I'm trying to wrap my head around what it must be like to raise a black child, and especially a black male, in this fukced up country.

I’m black and have a young elementary-aged daughter. I felt a little relieved when I learned we were having a girl, although I feel guilty saying it—black girls certainly have their challenges, but it doesn’t seem as dangerous out there for girls as it does for black sons.

However, even that’s not much relief, since I have a black husband and brothers.

Your black daughter is more likely to be ignored when she tells a hospital worker she's in medical distress when giving birth or shortly after, and more likely to die in or after childbirth than a white woman. The stress of being black is literally killing black women. The stress of just existing.

I follow Humans of NY on Instagram and the guy is in Ghana right now, or he was and he posted a blurb about a guy, his wife, and their son. The guy and his wife are doctors, and studied in America, but ultimately decided to raise their son back in Ghana, because there his son wouldn't have to be so aware of his blackness, he would just look like everyone around him. That really struck me - they're much more poor there, and life is much harder there. But race was their driving factor in choosing to stay. That's how important this is for them.

I recently finished Americanah, and one of the Nigerian characters tells an American character that she wasn't black until she moved to the United States.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I follow Humans of NY on Instagram and the guy is in Ghana right now, or he was and he posted a blurb about a guy, his wife, and their son. The guy and his wife are doctors, and studied in America, but ultimately decided to raise their son back in Ghana, because there his son wouldn't have to be so aware of his blackness, he would just look like everyone around him. That really struck me - they're much more poor there, and life is much harder there. But race was their driving factor in choosing to stay. That's how important this is for them.

Why not just move to a majority-black city? There are plenty of them to choose from. Personally, I'd pick Atlanta.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be born in wedlock (well, it does happen 28% of the time):
https://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2013/jul/29/don-lemon/cnns-don-lemon-says-more-72-percent-african-americ/

Really PP? As if the child has control. This is passive-aggressive shaming. Your example is not at all like the normal, daily things that we are talking about.

As if a black person has control over what race they will be born?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:read this thread without rolling your eyes.

I'm not rolling my eyes at all. I'm just feeling really sad. I'm trying to wrap my head around what it must be like to raise a black child, and especially a black male, in this fukced up country.

I’m black and have a young elementary-aged daughter. I felt a little relieved when I learned we were having a girl, although I feel guilty saying it—black girls certainly have their challenges, but it doesn’t seem as dangerous out there for girls as it does for black sons.

However, even that’s not much relief, since I have a black husband and brothers.

Your black daughter is more likely to be ignored when she tells a hospital worker she's in medical distress when giving birth or shortly after, and more likely to die in or after childbirth than a white woman. The stress of being black is literally killing black women. The stress of just existing.

I follow Humans of NY on Instagram and the guy is in Ghana right now, or he was and he posted a blurb about a guy, his wife, and their son. The guy and his wife are doctors, and studied in America, but ultimately decided to raise their son back in Ghana, because there his son wouldn't have to be so aware of his blackness, he would just look like everyone around him. That really struck me - they're much more poor there, and life is much harder there. But race was their driving factor in choosing to stay. That's how important this is for them.

I recently finished Americanah, and one of the Nigerian characters tells an American character that she wasn't black until she moved to the United States.

My husband is African, but grew up in Europe. He's expressed similar sentiments about coming to America as a teen. Race relations were totally different here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I follow Humans of NY on Instagram and the guy is in Ghana right now, or he was and he posted a blurb about a guy, his wife, and their son. The guy and his wife are doctors, and studied in America, but ultimately decided to raise their son back in Ghana, because there his son wouldn't have to be so aware of his blackness, he would just look like everyone around him. That really struck me - they're much more poor there, and life is much harder there. But race was their driving factor in choosing to stay. That's how important this is for them.

Why not just move to a majority-black city? There are plenty of them to choose from. Personally, I'd pick Atlanta.

You think race relations are the same in Atlanta, an American city, as in Ghana??

[Anonymous]

Get out of my car and go take pictures of someone’s country house cause it looks charming. White friend recently did this and posted it on FB. Never in my wildest dreams would I do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be black teenaged boys living on the Upper East Side (true story).

What’s the story.

What happened?

Without giving too many details, husband and his bro were briefly detained outside their UES home. Cops thought they fit the description of some suspects.

The description was probably “black, medium build, age: 20-30s”

No, it would be "Number 1 male".

Either that or BNBG (per The Wire):

I don’t understand this but I spy Rachel Zane /Meghan Markle’s Suits dad!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be black teenaged boys living on the Upper East Side (true story).

What’s the story.

What happened?

Without giving too many details, husband and his bro were briefly detained outside their UES home. Cops thought they fit the description of some suspects.

The description was probably “black, medium build, age: 20-30s”

No, it would be "Number 1 male".

Either that or BNBG (per The Wire):

I don’t understand this but I spy Rachel Zane /Meghan Markle’s Suits dad!

For shame - Bunk Moreland from [i]The Wire[i] is one of the all time great characters. I’ve loved Wendell Pierce in pretty much everything but Bunk was career-making.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get out of my car and go take pictures of someone’s country house cause it looks charming. White friend recently did this and posted it on FB. Never in my wildest dreams would I do this.

In all fairness, I’m white and I’d never dream of doing that. I’m sorry about your tacky friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find food in after a hurricane:

Wow

+1. But white people think we should ignore this type of BS.

[Anonymous]

One of my dear friends is white and pretty woke and yet she tells me to do things all the time that black folks just don’t do, for example, to take watergate top of the gate cups. “Just stick it in your purse...” uh, no.

My kids don’t eat food while they shop, don’t stray far from me in public, always walk away or take the high road even when they are baited, and are beginning to be taught about racism, privilege and inequality. I’m starting to transition my 7 year old son out of hoodies, although I do love the Hanna and tea collection options.