Husband just ruined our night and now I’m crying. 6 months pregnant and we’re away from our home.

[Anonymous]

I only buy 2 books before baby was born, and now at 3 years old, I have purchased more than $200 of books.
I was a bit scared of germs from library book when he was an infant, and then when he gets a bit older, I found that borrowing books from library is not realistic because he would tear up book/chew on book/drooling on library book (yuck!). And, a lot of time, he was not interested at all I read book to him, and due date has come.

Therefore, over the past 3 years, I decide to buy books whenever I find it interesting, and especially it is on sale around holiday. And, I buy it with my credit card.

I & DH have joint account for big/regular expenses (mortgage/car payment/utilities/insurance/daycare/groceries etc). And, each has personal account to buy whatever we want because I don't want any nagging or need approval from DH for anything I want to buy for our son. I am working full time. If I don't work, I would want DH to give me a monthly allowance e.g. $100 or more something for anything I want to buy with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think everyone is being hard on OP. It's her first baby, and she is excited to share something she loves with him. She excitedly chose some books, which is clearly a special experience to her, and then her DH squashed her joy.

Now, yes, $200 on baby books is way overboard, so he was probably right to be annoyed at the amount of money being spent. But we should all try to remember what it was like to be pregnant with our first, and cut OP a little slack.

Hopefully she'll take some of these comments to heart.

+100

I totally agree. $200 is a lot of money for books but overall the sentiment is sweet and endearing

[Anonymous]

Op, I just wanted to say that when my son was a baby, my dh and I got into an argument about books. It was the most bizarre thing for him to get pissy about. I can't even explain how perplexing it was to be that he would choose this to put his foot down about. I was being thrifty with everything, where's he was the one lobbying for the most expensive baby seat and crib mattress, yet he got all huffy about books. I told him that as ds gets older, the library will be a good option, but I wanted a nice collection for around the house. He eventually dropped the subject.

Op, just so you know for the future, my son is now 6. We get tons of books at garage sales and also new. But mostly from the library. I'm still glad we had lots of new books in our home when he was a baby and toddler.

[Anonymous]

So weird. My DD was in utero around the time Birder’s was liquidating. I remember wanting to stock up on some books and my DH too put up a fuss.

It ended up that the books were still grossly overpriced and I bought nothing, and I’m hindsight they weren’t even necessary. But we too had an argument about books.

We get 95% of our books from the library.

[Anonymous]

Yeah too much spent on books. Use amazon. I'd be annoyed too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody has picked up on the most important thing — OP was not read to as a child!! This is not about the books, it’s about her doing something meaningful for her and symbolic of the better way she wants to raise her son. OP, your DH screwed up big time. I’m so sorry. Try to explain to him what these books mean to you. And order a nice dessert from room service!

No, I picked up on that. Reading is free and easy. She chose to make it an issue by buying a ridiculous amount of books for a fetus--an unborn child. You don't need to buy tons of books, and if your DH is concerned about the $$$, compromise. She could have picked out one or two at this point. She's actually making it all about HER.

Wait until she has boys who hate reading. We have books in every corner of our house and read incessantly to both sons. Neither likes to read or does it willingly.

Kids are separate people, you can't force things.

She's just being a drama queen, and all of this "it's the hormones" stuff is nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, I just wanted to say that when my son was a baby, my dh and I got into an argument about books. It was the most bizarre thing for him to get pissy about. I can't even explain how perplexing it was to be that he would choose this to put his foot down about. I was being thrifty with everything, where's he was the one lobbying for the most expensive baby seat and crib mattress, yet he got all huffy about books. I told him that as ds gets older, the library will be a good option, but I wanted a nice collection for around the house. He eventually dropped the subject.

Op, just so you know for the future, my son is now 6. We get tons of books at garage sales and also new. But mostly from the library. I'm still glad we had lots of new books in our home when he was a baby and toddler.

You find it perplexing that your husband wanted to spend money on items direct.y related to your child’s health and safety, rather than on unessary luxuries like books?


This board never fails to surprise me.

[Anonymous]

^ sorry, this should read unnecessary library of new books.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You and your husband go away together for the weekend...and the goal for the weekend for you is to buy books to read to your fetus?

No wonder your husband was mad. Did he know that was your goal for the weekend? I can't imagine announcing that to my husband.

Agreed. He’s probably tired of all of the “baby this, baby that” stuff and was looking forward to what may be some of his last alone time with you. And still, he’s pushed to the backseat over the unborn baby, as he probably expects he will be for the rest of his life.

F the stupid books OP. Take care of your MARRIAGE.

THIS!

And I am a hardcore book lover and have spent a ton of money on them both new and used. However, there is no way in the world my husband would have enjoyed that activity for longer that a few minutes. Let it go and seriously check yourself in regards to how much mental energy you are spending on a fetus vs your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only buy 2 books before baby was born, and now at 3 years old, I have purchased more than $200 of books.
I was a bit scared of germs from library book when he was an infant, and then when he gets a bit older, I found that borrowing books from library is not realistic because he would tear up book/chew on book/drooling on library book (yuck!). And, a lot of time, he was not interested at all I read book to him, and due date has come.

Therefore, over the past 3 years, I decide to buy books whenever I find it interesting, and especially it is on sale around holiday. And, I buy it with my credit card.

I & DH have joint account for big/regular expenses (mortgage/car payment/utilities/insurance/daycare/groceries etc). And, each has personal account to buy whatever we want because I don't want any nagging or need approval from DH for anything I want to buy for our son. I am working full time. If I don't work, I would want DH to give me a monthly allowance e.g. $100 or more something for anything I want to buy with.

This is also why it is not wise to spend $200 on new books from the store for babies. They will damage them. They start by drooling on them, then as they start to acquire large motor skills they pick them up by the pages and rip them, or they throw them at the table or sit on them or eat them. Baby books are frequently damaged, so gently used books from thrift and consignment stores work best. I have no problem getting a few wonderful starter books (especially ones with significance), but $200 worth? That's just overkill. Also you have no idea how many friends will give you cherished books they remember from childhood or books they remember their children loving.

[Anonymous]

1. I am a hardcore bookworm like some others here and $200 is a lot on books for anyone other than college students with textbooks.
2. Your husband should not have been nasty and discussed it later.
3. Check in on your drama tendencies, pregnancy or no.
4. I will never, ever get the separate accounts thing. Part of being in a mature marriage is the ability to negotiate finances AND know when you are spending too much for the family budget. If DH wants a coffee twice a day and money isn't an issue, go for it. If it is an issue I trust him to be mature and dial the coffee habit down for a bit, and I do the same for my spending. Having separate accounts says to me you don't really trust each other, and I've seen that reflected in the relationships I see in my sphere with that money arrangement. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What was suppose to be a fun trip to commemorate Autumn has turned for the worse this evening.

My husband literally just fought me over buying books for our baby boy.
I’m currently 6 months pregnant and have been nesting like crazy.

We do not have a lot of books for him and we’ve started slowly adding things and my goal
On this trip was to buy books. I’d love to sit and read them to him as I know he can hear me
Anyways, my husband flat out thinks they’re a waste and said he would go half on the amount we
spend. Well I miscalculated one book by $5 dollars and at the register he said rudely” you owe me this amount, I’ll get it from you later!@

It was humiliating. I was overjoyed browsing books for our baby and he ruined what was suppose to be a fun experience. II cried as soon as I got out of the store and told him he was being a jerk and I wanted to go back to the hotel

We did spend close to $200 on books and he felt like it was a waste of money. I told him our son can never have too many books

I didn’t buy all the books I wanted because I was trying to be respectful of his wishes. My calculations were off and he paid a little more than me and gave me grief at the counter about it and basically ruined my night. These are books we’re buying now toys!

All I want is for our son to have wonderful reading memories. I never had a good relationship with reading; I wasn’t read to as a child. I don’t want that for him. He made it about money when it was suppose to be a fun memorable experience.

You are an idiot. No wonder your husband is furious. $200 for children's books for kid not even born
Grow up

[Anonymous]

Take a deep breath and look at the other side. You are on a trip with your husband before your baby is born. Most people would make this about the two of you as a couple. You are making it about buying books for your unborn child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Commemorating autumn??

That was my thought too!

What planet is she on do you think?

[Anonymous]

I think that your DH was ready to explode over the amount of time it took to choose every book. That’s a lot of children’s books to rack up $200.
If it was technically still the weekend, I would have suggested choosing your favorite 3 and telling your husband that you’ll be right back after returning the remaining books. I would have said, order yourself a strong drink and dessert for me, and be naked in bed when I return.

Congrats on your soon to be baby boy, OP!