Husband just ruined our night and now I’m crying. 6 months pregnant and we’re away from our home.

[Anonymous]

As someone married to a woman who is also a lunatic about books/reading and who also takes her anxiety to a billion over how she’s perceived as a mother: chill the F$@& out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not a fan of separate accounts. I think it makes it harder for the couple to keep track of the big financial picture and manage that. Add hormones and soon, a third member of the family, and suddenly you're arguing over $5 - why make it so hard for yourself?

Not OP but that's exactly why we keep separate accounts. I don't want to argue with DH about his nitro coffee habit.

This is PP you quoted. Fair enough. Another way to do it is to have a single budget, decide your priorities together, compromise on a number for coffee along with everything else you buy each month, and then you don't have to think about it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not a fan of separate accounts. I think it makes it harder for the couple to keep track of the big financial picture and manage that. Add hormones and soon, a third member of the family, and suddenly you're arguing over $5 - why make it so hard for yourself?

Not OP but that's exactly why we keep separate accounts. I don't want to argue with DH about his nitro coffee habit.

This is PP you quoted. Fair enough. Another way to do it is to have a single budget, decide your priorities together, compromise on a number for coffee along with everything else you buy each month, and then you don't have to think about it again.

Then the coffee persom is pissed all the time. I loved having separate accounts. We can't do it now because of income isdues, but is was far superior.

[Anonymous]

I was with you until I got to the part about it being $200 worth of books. Slow down Nelly! You'll get a tonnnnn more books at your shower and when he's born. My son is 2.5 and he still gets random books in the mail from relatives.

[Anonymous]

OP, you can read your fetus (and later, baby) literally anything. Like, the book you’re reading, or a news article.

I’m Team Husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What was suppose to be a fun trip to commemorate Autumn has turned for the worse this evening.

My husband literally just fought me over buying books for our baby boy.
I’m currently 6 months pregnant and have been nesting like crazy.

We do not have a lot of books for him and we’ve started slowly adding things and my goal
On this trip was to buy books. I’d love to sit and read them to him as I know he can hear me
Anyways, my husband flat out thinks they’re a waste and said he would go half on the amount we
spend. Well I miscalculated one book by $5 dollars and at the register he said rudely” you owe me this amount, I’ll get it from you later!@

It was humiliating. I was overjoyed browsing books for our baby and he ruined what was suppose to be a fun experience. II cried as soon as I got out of the store and told him he was being a jerk and I wanted to go back to the hotel

We did spend close to $200 on books and he felt like it was a waste of money. I told him our son can never have too many books

I didn’t buy all the books I wanted because I was trying to be respectful of his wishes. My calculations were off and he paid a little more than me and gave me grief at the counter about it and basically ruined my night. These are books we’re buying now toys!

All I want is for our son to have wonderful reading memories. I never had a good relationship with reading; I wasn’t read to as a child. I don’t want that for him. He made it about money when it was suppose to be a fun memorable experience.

I'm on your side- I really think your DH should have let the books go. Demanding money from you at the register is crummy. I'm in the minority I think- but a DH embarrassing his pregnant wife is really not okay. I read a lot of books to my newborn DS- He was an early reader and had an advanced vocabulary. Maybe it was the books?

I do think you sound dramatic, but I'm not casting stones. I had a meltdown in heavy traffic at 6 mos. pregnant because I was worried about getting hungry- I wasn't even hungry yet, I was just concerned

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not a fan of separate accounts. I think it makes it harder for the couple to keep track of the big financial picture and manage that. Add hormones and soon, a third member of the family, and suddenly you're arguing over $5 - why make it so hard for yourself?

Not OP but that's exactly why we keep separate accounts. I don't want to argue with DH about his nitro coffee habit.

This is PP you quoted. Fair enough. Another way to do it is to have a single budget, decide your priorities together, compromise on a number for coffee along with everything else you buy each month, and then you don't have to think about it again.

So then one of us goes thru and does a coffee tally? Hard pass.

We just split up the bills fairly, make our retirement/savings contributions as direct deposits, and everything left over is for us to spend as we see fit. If there's less money left at the end of the month than I expected, I'm not rooting around wondering what he spent. I know it was my own fault.

[Anonymous]

My husband internalized all of his stress about money during my pregnancy and postpartum period. Having a family can become a huge worry, especially being able to provide for them financially. Even though money was good and I brought in 50% of the income, he still acted like your DH about things.

We worry about the baby’s development, making sure they have books to read and etc. sounds like your DH is worried about providing for the baby.

And to the poster who had to specify that it’s a fetus... you’re not wrong but neither is a woman who wants to identify her fetus as a baby. It’s her body/baby, let her wording be her choice.

[Anonymous]

You sound nuts OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thrift store.
Library.

A happy marriage will create wonderful memories for your child too.

+1

[Anonymous]

Hmm.

I hardly ever read to my babies, but since I'm a bookworm myself, they just followed my example and have become omnivorous readers, reading several grades ahead of their class.

NOT a hill to die on, OP. And this is coming from the world's worst bookworm.

[Anonymous]

OP, little kids want you to read the same book over and over. Dial it down and chill out!!!

[Anonymous]

How much have you spent on "nesting" OP? I'm feeling like you may have a shopping habit that is stressing your husband out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much have you spent on "nesting" OP? I'm feeling like you may have a shopping habit that is stressing your husband out.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Drama Mamma! Chill out. When the baby comes you'll struggle to find time to read all of those books. It's a lot more fun building a library for the kid over time. In 2 years you'll be giving half of them away...and unread.

I feel like buying a beer for your DH.