Husband just ruined our night and now I’m crying. 6 months pregnant and we’re away from our home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lucky you, you've received a ton of books as gifts. Lucky you, your library sales have great books. The point is, that although OP's husband disagrees, it is not unusual to have $200 worth of childrens books in your home.

My library sales are full of 1980s self help and mildewy junk. We didn't receive a lot of books as gifts. I do go to a lot of garage sales for books. But to pretend it's so outrageous to own $200 in kids books is sad. And bizarre.

I do think that if OP isn't a troll they have bigger issues than books. I mean, the title of her post alone puts me off.

But PP here is correct. $200 in books is ... if you buy hardcovers ... 10 books. Seriously, not a lot. Even childless people might have that many just from nostalgia alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much have you spent on "nesting" OP? I'm feeling like you may have a shopping habit that is stressing your husband out.

+1.

+2

I suspect that there is a bigger dynamic going on here. She's spending a ton of money "nesting" and he's worried about being able to afford everything. $200 worth of books for a baby who isn't even born is nuts, and I say this as someone whose kid has hundreds of books now.

[Anonymous]

If you search for “children’s books” on eBay, you’ll get lots of 20-30 age-grouped books for $25.

[Anonymous]

$200 is not a lot of books, but buying that many books at one time may seem like a lot. Your hormones have you captive, but you still have a brain, right?

Put the shoe on the other foot. If you were providing for your spouse and spending $200 was a big deal, what does this say about your finances? Is it really more important for you to keep your fetus well read... or keep your fetus well nourished?
Your fetus can't absorb the reading too well if it can't grow its brain to the right size...

Lastly, is buying books the only way to acquire them to read for your fetus? How's it gonna know you read from the book you bought at the last store vs. one from the public library?

If you really want to buy lots of books, consider thrift stores or garage/yard sales... buying them one by one retail is not using your grey matter...

[Anonymous]

This is not about books. Figure out the real issue and work it out with your husband.

Also, parents waste money on all kinds of unnecessary baby items before the newborn arrives. A $1200 stroller, $200 on multiple wraps, $350 car seat, $150 video monitor, expensive outfits that are worn once and spit up on. A few hundred on a book collection from scratch isn't a big deal if you have the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I just wanted to say that when my son was a baby, my dh and I got into an argument about books. It was the most bizarre thing for him to get pissy about. I can't even explain how perplexing it was to be that he would choose this to put his foot down about. I was being thrifty with everything, where's he was the one lobbying for the most expensive baby seat and crib mattress, yet he got all huffy about books. I told him that as ds gets older, the library will be a good option, but I wanted a nice collection for around the house. He eventually dropped the subject.

Op, just so you know for the future, my son is now 6. We get tons of books at garage sales and also new. But mostly from the library. I'm still glad we had lots of new books in our home when he was a baby and toddler.

You find it perplexing that your husband wanted to spend money on items direct.y related to your child’s health and safety, rather than on unessary luxuries like books?


This board never fails to surprise me.

Pp here. What are you even talking about? My husband wanted the most expensive baby seat (baby bouncer) and crib mattress. Top of the line baby bouncers and crib mattresses are unnecessary luxuries. You think that's more important than books, good for you. My kid's development will benefit for years to come because of having books in our home.

Team op.

Thank you PP! OP here. He apologized and we talked. All is well now he never meant to hurt my feelings and explained his POV and I can see my own short comings. All is well and just ordered a few more books .

You are a nutcase. The stress of children will break you. Your will be another divorce statistic. The books wont matter.

[Anonymous]

This is how marriage is. Sometimes idealized trips and events get ruined by petty fights because one or both are stressed out.

Then you die.

This is why there is faith. There has to be something other than this.. The world is not enough.

[Anonymous]

Well I miscalculated one book by $5 dollars and at the register he said rudely” you owe me this amount, I’ll get it from you later!@

A healthy marriage begins by sharing finances. When it comes to money, ther should be "ours", not "mine and yours".

Quibbling over $5, though...

[Anonymous]

Troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get that he shouldn't have yelled at you, but honestly you're going a little overboard here. I'm a book fiend, and I can't remember ever spending that much in one trip, especially for kids books. You both messed up here, and it may be time for you to watch your spending.

Granted, I have books everywhere in my house — but I have, and I bought a ton of books for my kid. I also have spent $200 at the Strand more than once. Take it from
The parent of an avid reader-7-year-old boy — reading to the kid every night starting early is a big deal. However, you don’t need to buy more than a selection before the kid is born. Give up this fiight and ignore. Ask for books from
Those people who want to give you gifts. My work
Threw me a “favorite book” shower where the few gifts were the attendee’s favorite kid’s books.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spending $200. on books for a child is crazy. Who does something like that? Better apologize, he’s right and your wrong.

Depends on what the SES of the OP is. $200 is not a lot to spend on something for the baby. Still the fact that the DH said that she has to pay for it and that it went $5 more than he wanted to pay is very very uneducated low class. He is certainly not a great provider. Sounds like a real loser and a control freak.

LOL at the bolded... yes pp, you are very classy and a total winner by comparison. LOL!

[Anonymous]

Also LOLing at the woman with a 2 year old who already has favorite illustrators. The world is a crazy place.

[Anonymous]

OP I get it. $200 is not too much on books if it’s in your budget. Your DH is being a d!ck, sorry.

Children who grow up surrounded by books have a leg up in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I get it. $200 is not too much on books if it’s in your budget. Your DH is being a d!ck, sorry.

Children who grow up surrounded by books have a leg up in life.

Children, not babies.

[Anonymous]

$200 for books is a lot, especially when the holidays are coming up and these can be wishlist items or gifts. My husband would not be thrilled with that expense either.

It sounds like you're trying to not overspend, so you shouldn't be buying books from retail stores anyway: Amazon, library sales, etc... is way way more economical and you'll get more books for the same price.

Also, a trip to "commemorate Autumn?" This + the insistence of spending hundreds on books makes you sound a but...inflexible and high-maintenance.