DD gained 28 pounds over the summer with Dad.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm sorry. That's do difficult. You're a good mom for doing all you can to turn it around.

As mentioned, have her clean up her diet and be active. Of course you should have an honest conversation with her. Do PPs actually think she hasn't noticed she put on weight? You don't think someone's going to say something to her when she returns to school?

It's crazy to be under the (false) impression that your DD will never eat any sort of junk food again, but you're smarter to give her the tools she needs so she can do that in moderation and still be healthy.

Good luck, I'm sure it's very difficult to be in your position.

[Anonymous]

DD has mentioned her weight a few times (concerns about fitting into school clothes and swimming suit). She mostly wore oversized t-shorts and stretchy athletic shorts over the summer (that seems to be the style for preteen and teen girls....).

We talked a bit about her summer, she seemed to like taking it easy. We stay pretty busy during the school year. I think she enjoyed having a low key relaxing summer with unlimited screen time and food.

I don’t have strict rules about food and TV but stay busy and I don’t keep junk in the house so we naturally end up watching minimal TV and eating fairly well.

I think it was good for her to have a few months of complete relaxation but now getting back into the swing of things may be more difficult.

I wonder how not staying active will effect her in sports. She is athletic and very good at both swim team and volleyball, I wonder if the lack of exercise combined with being in a new school (starts Jr. High) will hold her back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Put her in a diet and make sharp, biting remarks about her weight. Shame her while eating. Also make sure she gets a deep tan because tan fat looks better.

Signed, my mother

My mother must have given birth to another child while no one was looking!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And that’s the other extreme. Forbidding your children from ever touching fast food, ice cream or soda isn’t helpful. You have no idea if your 17 yo has had soda in the past 10 years at a party when you haven’t been around. Teach them healthy eating habits and how to have certain foods in moderation. Including McDonalds. I had a sundae there today for the first time in many years and it was good.

My daughter is 16 years old and she has never had soda since she was five years old at a party and she actually spat it out. She said it taste awful. both my son and daughter actually vomit when they smell any food from Mcdonald or KFC. They are athletes but they don't drink gatorade, only water with a little bit of salt and lemon. Anything with processed sugar in it is not good for your body, that means ice cream.

going by your logic, smoking is OK too as long as it is in moderation too, right?

If your kids vomit from smelling McDonald's they have eating disorders. That's f'ed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was me as a kid. Came back as the class fat kid. My parents didn't make a big deal about it but I never lost the weight. It was always "you'll thin out as you get taller" and it never happened. I'm still over weight as an adult and always wished I wasn't overweight. My parents probably could have subtly helped me get back on track but they are also overweight and didn't have the best food habits.

This is me as well. I think everyone assumed I was about to hit a growth spurt and I never did. I’ve been obese or overweight ever since. Now as an adult, it’s no ones fault but my own, but at that age it really sucked and I wish someone had helped me.

It's not so easy for parents. I've read many comments from people whose parents did want to help them. They put them on diets. Kids felt a sense of shame.
It's hard to get it right!

[Anonymous]

OP - you sound like a wonderful and thoughtful parent who is thinking about and doing all the right things. In addition to some of the good advice you have gotten, I would also talk to your daughter about how she was mentally with her dad. Did she have a great time? Was it stressful? I think the way you approach it would be slightly different if she was having fun and just eating a lot because that is what he does with his new family or if it was a stressful summer and eating was something that helped her get through it.

[Anonymous]

We always gain more than 28 pounds in the summer, but then again we do tend to more or less hibernate in the winter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is 11 and put in a lot of weight last August, in a similar fashion. Completely sedentary and ate lots of McDonald’s. (Don’t ask, long story).

I just banned McDonald’s and focused on making healthy tasty meals. He was also on the school soccer team for the fall. He lost it all in about 2 months. So, about twice as long to take off as to put on. It wasn’t a diet. It was getting back to our regular eating habits.

He hasn’t started puberty yet as far as I can tell.

I don’t know how to address this with the ex. I worry an ex would take it as a personal attack. And I’m not sure how to approach your daughter without giving her issues. I likely would just go back to healthy habits, and maybe help her get access to healthier foods while with Dad?

Maybe she will tell you a little more about what was going on over the summer. Pizza every night? Does she feel comfortable requesting certain foods? would teaching her to cook for herself this winter, in prep for next summer, be helpful? I bet, if your ex is like my husband, unhealthy choices come from not wanting to shop and cook. Take out is easier.

why do people let their kids eat junk food, drink soda, Mcdonald, burger king, pizza hut and ice cream in the first place? They are like poison and are banned in my house. It will cause serious health issues later on.

My oldest is 17 years old and the last time we visited a Mcdonald was 11 years ago. The last time he drank soda or ate ice cream was 2008.

Unless he's chained to the radiator, I can all but guarantee you that this is false.