DD gained 28 pounds over the summer with Dad.

[Anonymous]

DD spends the summer with her father (divorced). She left in mid-May and got back last weekend and she very clearly had put on a lot of weight.

She generally has been on the high percentile for weight, but not overweight. Just solid. My ex and I both struggle with weight, and unfortunately DD genetically has to work harder to keep excess wait off. We are body positive but also talk about eating healthy and exercising. DD is very athletically talented and is on the swim team and volleyball team. This keeps her weight on check, we also eat well as a family. We don’t deny desserts and treats but they aren’t an everyday thing.

Well, I guess with her father she has spent the summer watching TV and eating crap. When she left she was probably about 90 pounds and as soon as I saw her I assumed she gained about 25 pounds but when we did her check-up today she had gained 28 pounds! 28 pounds in three months, she is now 119 pounds at 58.3 inches tall. Her pediatrician was concerned, but said weight gain in girls is common right before puberty.

DD just has to stay active and eat decently well to maintain a healthy weight. My concern is about health mostly, but yes, I’m also concerned about how she’ll be treated when she starts school with her peers in a week.

I’m angry with DH for letting this happen, but trying to to show DD that I’m upset about her weight gain.

I know what it feels like to be the fat kid.

[Anonymous]

Wow, she swam on the swim team all summer and still gained that much?

[Anonymous]

I wonder if you should get her thyroid checked, blood work run?

[Anonymous]

Please stop projecting your feelings on your young impressionable daughter.

[Anonymous]

Dear god tell me you meant to write that you're *not* trying to show her you're upset.

If you must focus on this, focus on her athletic performance and not on the scale or how her peers will react.

-Scarred former fat kid

[Anonymous]

If it helps OP, as an 18 year old I gained about 25 pounds over the course of a month while visiting friends in Germany (went from roughly 105-130) and really didn't realize it until I got home and none of my clothes fit. I went back to eating my regular diet and being very active and lost the weight within 6 months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, she swam on the swim team all summer and still gained that much?

No, she didn’t do any sport activities over the summer. Her dad lives states away. They went on a two week cruise and then she lounged around with her step-siblings. No sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear god tell me you meant to write that you're *not* trying to show her you're upset.

If you must focus on this, focus on her athletic performance and not on the scale or how her peers will react.

-Scarred former fat kid

Yes, I don’t want her to see that I’m upset. I don’t think she noticed I was worried. Just aggravated with my ex more than anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear god tell me you meant to write that you're *not* trying to show her you're upset.

If you must focus on this, focus on her athletic performance and not on the scale or how her peers will react.

-Scarred former fat kid

Yes, I don’t want her to see that I’m upset. I don’t think she noticed I was worried. Just aggravated with my ex more than anything.

Well, get her back into her regular schedule of non-junk food and activities. Some of the weight should come off, and some might be due to puberty as your doc said. But if your daughter goes to her father regularly, you should mention that the doctor was concerned about the sudden weight gain. Assuming he's not totally uncaring as a father, he should be concerned too.

[Anonymous]

I bet a lot of that was the cruise. I gain a lb per day on the boat. I get off, eat normally, and lose it.

[Anonymous]

How old is she and has she gone through puberty yet?

Some of it is definitely more food and less exercise, and that part should self-correct once she returns to her usual sports and healthier eating habits. Some of it is likely also puberty.

Once she returns to sports, she will feel the difference, and then you as a parent are probably better off not being alarmist and instead pointing out that returning to sports will help. Also if she has halfway decent coaches, they should be helpful. It won't be the first time they've seen an athlete return from the summer carrying extra weight.

[Anonymous]

Did the pediatrician order any blood work? 28 pounds in what, about 11 weeks?, is a consistent gain of more than 2 pounds per week for nearly three months, which is a caloric excess of over 1,000 per day -- it can happen, but it takes some doing. I would want the ped to do a check to make sure there isn't an underlying condition going on.

[Anonymous]

It's hard to tell if we don't know how old she is, OP, but I wouldn't have described 90 pounds at 58.3 inches as "high percentile for weight" and "solid".

[Anonymous]

OP, is that 28 pounds since the beginning of the summer, or since her last check-up a year ago?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's hard to tell if we don't know how old she is, OP, but I wouldn't have described 90 pounds at 58.3 inches as "high percentile for weight" and "solid".

NP. I’m not sure how to take that comment. My 10 yo is almost that exactly and I’d describe him in those words. I might also throw in athletic and muscular. He’s a sturdy kid but definitely not overweight at 90 lbs.

OP, focus on healthy eating and an active lifestyles. Get rid of your scales. I struggle with my weight so I have to do this for my sanity otherwise I’ll weigh myself too frequently. My kids don’t need to see that. I would not worry about your daughter as long as she is not continuing to eat like she’s on vacation. I gained 10 lbs last year on ours and quickly lost it when life went back to normal.