Hey working mothers, a work-life balance is a myth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"You can have it all, but you are going to be REALLY tired and stressed". - Reality talking

Most women have it wrong, either marry a Mr Mom type or you don't wear all hats at the same time.

Don't wear the hats consecutively, do it like this:

20's - Single playtime, time for going all in on college and career, invest $

30's - Have your babies, take a break to raise them into late ES

40's - Go back to work part-time or full-time if it's flexible, your kids are more independent and don't need daycare

50's - Kids are grown, do whatever work you enjoy

60's - Work, play and enjoy the grandkids

Bad plan. What if something happens do your spouse/partner? Then you've been out of the work force, come back with way less earning potential and you're totally screwed. No thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I come close. I am fortunate to have a fantastic nanny who also acts as House Manager; I own my own company; and I have parents who beg to have DD sleep over on Saturday night giving DH and I a date night every week. I outsource everything to have three day weekends devoted only to DD and DH.

I am confused, how to do have date nights every Sat with DD sleeping away but simultaneously devote three days a weekend to her and DH?

Some little kids sleep a lot. So maybe they drop their child at grandparents around 6 or 7, and she’s asleep from 8 pm to 7 am. Then they pick their child up at around 10 the next day and spend the rest of the day together. To me this still “counts” as spending the weekend together. It also sounds HEAVENLY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"You can have it all, but you are going to be REALLY tired and stressed". - Reality talking

Most women have it wrong, either marry a Mr Mom type or you don't wear all hats at the same time.

Don't wear the hats consecutively, do it like this:

20's - Single playtime, time for going all in on college and career, invest $

30's - Have your babies, take a break to raise them into late ES

40's - Go back to work part-time or full-time if it's flexible, your kids are more independent and don't need daycare

50's - Kids are grown, do whatever work you enjoy

60's - Work, play and enjoy the grandkids

+1 this is the ideal way to do it

[Anonymous]

Balance is about loving yourself and being forgiving of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"You can have it all, but you are going to be REALLY tired and stressed". - Reality talking

Most women have it wrong, either marry a Mr Mom type or you don't wear all hats at the same time.

Don't wear the hats consecutively, do it like this:

20's - Single playtime, time for going all in on college and career, invest $

30's - Have your babies, take a break to raise them into late ES

40's - Go back to work part-time or full-time if it's flexible, your kids are more independent and don't need daycare

50's - Kids are grown, do whatever work you enjoy

60's - Work, play and enjoy the grandkids

I did college, marriage, investing and career in my 20s. Kids and career and investing in my 30s.

Break in my 40s...spend time with kids and successfully helped them launch...till early 50s...

I think the best couple time I spent with my DH was in my teens and twenties, forties and fifties. We were excellent partners in parenting in our 30s together but being a couple required a lot more juggling.

I am in my early 50s now...and looking back at the successes in our relationship, children, finances is lot more satisfying.

I have no idea what I will do as my youngest is ready to launch...but life and time is precious. It's got to be worthwhile.being with my kids in the school years middle school and high school was where I could make the most impact. After early childhood, I found MS and HS most challenging.

My career helped give me financial freedom so happy for that. My family remains my biggest accompalishment to date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"You can have it all, but you are going to be REALLY tired and stressed". - Reality talking

Most women have it wrong, either marry a Mr Mom type or you don't wear all hats at the same time.

Don't wear the hats consecutively, do it like this:

20's - Single playtime, time for going all in on college and career, invest $

30's - Have your babies, take a break to raise them into late ES

40's - Go back to work part-time or full-time if it's flexible, your kids are more independent and don't need daycare

50's - Kids are grown, do whatever work you enjoy

60's - Work, play and enjoy the grandkids

I did college, marriage, investing and career in my 20s. Kids and career and investing in my 30s.

Break in my 40s...spend time with kids and successfully helped them launch...till early 50s...

I think the best couple time I spent with my DH was in my teens and twenties, forties and fifties. We were excellent partners in parenting in our 30s together but being a couple required a lot more juggling.

I am in my early 50s now...and looking back at the successes in our relationship, children, finances is lot more satisfying.

I have no idea what I will do as my youngest is ready to launch...but life and time is precious. It's got to be worthwhile.being with my kids in the school years middle school and high school was where I could make the most impact. After early childhood, I found MS and HS most challenging.

My career helped give me financial freedom so happy for that. My family remains my biggest accompalishment to date.

In other words, you can have it all kids, career, family, marriage, education...but not everything at the same time. You will end up prioritizing something over other...whatever works for you. Ki

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men can't have it all either. Which is why I think work hours should be enforced. Employers are relying on your unpaid work hours to get ahead and you're sacrificing family time for your employer. It's a whole spiraling effect.

I had a boss that firmly believed that if you didn't "give back to the company" (usually by working for free), then there is no way that she is going to give you a raise or a bonus or a better than average annual rating. You could be the best at your job and receive a ton of praise from everyone, and she still wouldn't care. You having a family was not her "problem", so you needed to figure out how to "balance" things yourself. Needless to say, I don't work for her anymore. I now have a contracting job that allows me to telework one day a week and I can leave early/come in late if I need to.

[Anonymous]

Once again for the people in the cheap seats: achieving a good work/life balance is not the same as "having it all".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shonda Rhimes said in a commencement speech how she can't have it all and that if she's killing it in one area, she's most certainly failing in another. If she's at a taping, she's not a her child's dance recital. Men never are talking about finding balance, at least not to the degree women do. We put so much pressure on ourselves. Can we all agree, we'll never find the perfect balance and that what that balance looks like differs for everyone and will change over time?

Shonda Rhimes is a media mogul who is worth (I just googled) $120 million. I bet she does she feel pressed for time. She has a lot on her plate and thousands of people counting on her for jobs.

I work mostly from home for a global tech firm, doing research. I don't feel all that stretched. That said, I would def not say I'm "killing it" in my career like Shonda is, who is clearly doing some groundbreaking work and is widely successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had a decent balance until both our children were diagnosed with issues that needed to be addressed with more time and therapies. Then the balance was shot. Enter sahp and balance was restored. This is what worked for us, but it is not the solution for everyone. Just as dual wohps is not the solution for everyone either (although among our friend groups it is the default until it doesn't work). everyone's mileage varies

I'm happy to hear you made it work being faced with sudden changes & challenges... I know a few parents that the fathers or mothers took off becausethe stress became too much.

I have so much respect for mom's & dad's like you who suddenly find out their child has a diagnosis of some kind & dig their heels in & make it work no matter what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"You can have it all, but you are going to be REALLY tired and stressed". - Reality talking

Most women have it wrong, either marry a Mr Mom type or you don't wear all hats at the same time.

Don't wear the hats consecutively, do it like this:

20's - Single playtime, time for going all in on college and career, invest $

30's - Have your babies, take a break to raise them into late ES

40's - Go back to work part-time or full-time if it's flexible, your kids are more independent and don't need daycare

50's - Kids are grown, do whatever work you enjoy

60's - Work, play and enjoy the grandkids

Bad plan. What if something happens do your spouse/partner? Then you've been out of the work force, come back with way less earning potential and you're totally screwed. No thank you.

Nobody ever looked back on their life & said "gee, I should have worked more" but I know plenty of mom's who missed out on those younger years & regretted it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"You can have it all, but you are going to be REALLY tired and stressed". - Reality talking

Most women have it wrong, either marry a Mr Mom type or you don't wear all hats at the same time.

Don't wear the hats consecutively, do it like this:

20's - Single playtime, time for going all in on college and career, invest $

30's - Have your babies, take a break to raise them into late ES

40's - Go back to work part-time or full-time if it's flexible, your kids are more independent and don't need daycare

50's - Kids are grown, do whatever work you enjoy

60's - Work, play and enjoy the grandkids

Bad plan. What if something happens do your spouse/partner? Then you've been out of the work force, come back with way less earning potential and you're totally screwed. No thank you.

Nobody ever looked back on their life & said "gee, I should have worked more" but I know plenty of mom's who missed out on those younger years & regretted it.

Ok, ok I see where this is going...

I love the positivity in this thread & how we've given each other tips to how to have a healthy working balance & what's worked for each of us.

Can we please not let this resort to negativity & pettiness between WOHM's & SAHM's... please?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"You can have it all, but you are going to be REALLY tired and stressed". - Reality talking

Most women have it wrong, either marry a Mr Mom type or you don't wear all hats at the same time.

Don't wear the hats consecutively, do it like this:

20's - Single playtime, time for going all in on college and career, invest $

30's - Have your babies, take a break to raise them into late ES

40's - Go back to work part-time or full-time if it's flexible, your kids are more independent and don't need daycare

50's - Kids are grown, do whatever work you enjoy

60's - Work, play and enjoy the grandkids

I did college, marriage, investing and career in my 20s. Kids and career and investing in my 30s.

Break in my 40s...spend time with kids and successfully helped them launch...till early 50s...

I think the best couple time I spent with my DH was in my teens and twenties, forties and fifties. We were excellent partners in parenting in our 30s together but being a couple required a lot more juggling.

I am in my early 50s now...and looking back at the successes in our relationship, children, finances is lot more satisfying.

I have no idea what I will do as my youngest is ready to launch...but life and time is precious. It's got to be worthwhile.being with my kids in the school years middle school and high school was where I could make the most impact. After early childhood, I found MS and HS most challenging.

My career helped give me financial freedom so happy for that. My family remains my biggest accompalishment to date.

That's lovely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"You can have it all, but you are going to be REALLY tired and stressed". - Reality talking

Most women have it wrong, either marry a Mr Mom type or you don't wear all hats at the same time.

Don't wear the hats consecutively, do it like this:

20's - Single playtime, time for going all in on college and career, invest $

30's - Have your babies, take a break to raise them into late ES

40's - Go back to work part-time or full-time if it's flexible, your kids are more independent and don't need daycare

50's - Kids are grown, do whatever work you enjoy

60's - Work, play and enjoy the grandkids

Bad plan. What if something happens do your spouse/partner? Then you've been out of the work force, come back with way less earning potential and you're totally screwed. No thank you.

Nobody ever looked back on their life & said "gee, I should have worked more" but I know plenty of mom's who missed out on those younger years & regretted it.

Ok, ok I see where this is going...

I love the positivity in this thread & how we've given each other tips to how to have a healthy working balance & what's worked for each of us.

Can we please not let this resort to negativity & pettiness between WOHM's & SAHM's... please?

Amen!

[Anonymous]

I agree with the sentiment of the article. The times I find I am most stressed are when work calls while I’m at home or my nanny or kids school calls while I’m at work.