Is it rude to bring no gift to a birthday party that doesn’t say “no gifts”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The hosts have stated no gifts. How is it rude to honor their request?

Because it's a request, not a command. If they request I wear a costume when I don't have one, or specific color that I don't like, or swim suit when I don't plan to swim, then I'm not going to honor the request. Some people are into the themes and requests and some aren't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The hosts have stated no gifts. How is it rude to honor their request?

Because it's a request, not a command. If they request I wear a costume when I don't have one, or specific color that I don't like, or swim suit when I don't plan to swim, then I'm not going to honor the request. Some people are into the themes and requests and some aren't.

What if they requested that you not bring a younger sibling ( just assume for the sake of argument that you have one to bring)? Would you ignore that request?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s proper etiquette to bring a gift to a birthday party. However, as some others have mentioned, if a kid shows up to my kid’s party without a gift I don’t care. Who knows what the family’s situation is. What’s most important to my kids is that their friends show up. My worst nightmare is that no one shows up to the party—who cares about the gift!

What if the invite specifically said no gifts?

Then obviously the guest should honor that explicit request. That goes without saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The hosts have stated no gifts. How is it rude to honor their request?

Because it's a request, not a command. If they request I wear a costume when I don't have one, or specific color that I don't like, or swim suit when I don't plan to swim, then I'm not going to honor the request. Some people are into the themes and requests and some aren't.

What if they requested that you not bring a younger sibling ( just assume for the sake of argument that you have one to bring)? Would you ignore that request?

I don't think I have on purpose. But I have showed up with another sibling, and we didn't plan to stay, but I had to bring them in to complete the drop off and was invited to stay anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The hosts have stated no gifts. How is it rude to honor their request?

Because it's a request, not a command. If they request I wear a costume when I don't have one, or specific color that I don't like, or swim suit when I don't plan to swim, then I'm not going to honor the request. Some people are into the themes and requests and some aren't.

What if they requested that you not bring a younger sibling ( just assume for the sake of argument that you have one to bring)? Would you ignore that request?

I don't think I have on purpose. But I have showed up with another sibling, and we didn't plan to stay, but I had to bring them in to complete the drop off and was invited to stay anyway.

Would you purposely ignore the request?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The hosts have stated no gifts. How is it rude to honor their request?

Because it's a request, not a command. If they request I wear a costume when I don't have one, or specific color that I don't like, or swim suit when I don't plan to swim, then I'm not going to honor the request. Some people are into the themes and requests and some aren't.

What if they requested that you not bring a younger sibling ( just assume for the sake of argument that you have one to bring)? Would you ignore that request?

I don't think I have on purpose. But I have showed up with another sibling, and we didn't plan to stay, but I had to bring them in to complete the drop off and was invited to stay anyway.

Would you purposely ignore the request?

About a sibling, no but I would have had ignored requests to dress in theme and the host wasn't put out. It's a suggestion. That's it.

[Anonymous]

I used to wring my hands about this when my oldest was little, like oh no, what if everyone else brings a gift? Is it rude to show up empty-handed??

And now I just take them at their word and don’t bring a gift, and don’t give it a second thought. Might have my kid do a drawing to stick in the card but that’s it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to wring my hands about this when my oldest was little, like oh no, what if everyone else brings a gift? Is it rude to show up empty-handed??

And now I just take them at their word and don’t bring a gift, and don’t give it a second thought. Might have my kid do a drawing to stick in the card but that’s it.

Your oldest is drawing pictures for friends? Older kids definitely bring gifts to parties (not drawings). This no gift thing seems to be for toddlers and preschool.

[Anonymous]

No. I brought a gift to a “no gift” party and felt rude. It was on accident and I had completely forgotten the invitation said no gift when I was scrambling to get ready for the party weeks later

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look DCUM, how can you have a both ways? If it is rude to even mention gifts by putting no gifts because the host is supposed to have no expectation of gifts, then how could it be rude not to bring one...

This is not having it both ways.

Standard etiquette requires you to bring a gift to a child’s birthday party. Showing up empty handed is rude.

The only exception is if the host specifies “No gifts please” on the invitation. Then it is appropriate to show up with no gifts.

This is not hard. And it certainly isn’t a double standard or having it both ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The hosts have stated no gifts. How is it rude to honor their request?

Because it's a request, not a command. If they request I wear a costume when I don't have one, or specific color that I don't like, or swim suit when I don't plan to swim, then I'm not going to honor the request. Some people are into the themes and requests and some aren't.

Reread the thread title, people. The invite does not say no gifts. It doesn’t mention gifts!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The hosts have stated no gifts. How is it rude to honor their request?

Because it's a request, not a command. If they request I wear a costume when I don't have one, or specific color that I don't like, or swim suit when I don't plan to swim, then I'm not going to honor the request. Some people are into the themes and requests and some aren't.

Reread the thread title, people. The invite does not say no gifts. It doesn’t mention gifts!

Reread the post you're replying to. "The host stated no gifts..." The conversation has evolved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The hosts have stated no gifts. How is it rude to honor their request?

Because it's a request, not a command. If they request I wear a costume when I don't have one, or specific color that I don't like, or swim suit when I don't plan to swim, then I'm not going to honor the request. Some people are into the themes and requests and some aren't.

Reread the thread title, people. The invite does not say no gifts. It doesn’t mention gifts!

Reread the post you're replying to. "The host stated no gifts..." The conversation has evolved.

“The invitation doesn’t.
I just want to know the etiquette. He is my kid’s best friend at school and not invited for the gifts.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, OP. I am not even going to read the other responses. If a an invitation says "no gifts" then it is rude to go against the host's explicit requests.

Ha, you don't have to read the other response but you should probably read the op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The hosts have stated no gifts. How is it rude to honor their request?

Because it's a request, not a command. If they request I wear a costume when I don't have one, or specific color that I don't like, or swim suit when I don't plan to swim, then I'm not going to honor the request. Some people are into the themes and requests and some aren't.

Reread the thread title, people. The invite does not say no gifts. It doesn’t mention gifts!

Reread the post you're replying to. "The host stated no gifts..." The conversation has evolved.

No. The PP who wrote "the host stated no gifts" also completely misunderstood the OP (which really was not unclear). OP is asking if it is rude to show up withOUT a gift to a bday party that is NOT a "no gift" party. In other words, is it rude not to bring a gift to a child's birthday party when the invitation said nothing about gifts. I really don't know why so many people -- unhelpfully -- told OP that it would be rude to bring a gift to a "no gift" party. Not her question AT ALL!

I think a guest who does not bring a gift to bday party where the invitation was silent as to gifts would be in the minority, so in that sense it would be weird. Not sure if it would also be rude. I know I really wouldn't care personally. But it is unusual OP, for sure.