RANT - I Hate the PTA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree completely OP. I can’t imagine that question would have been asked of a dad. It’s more unnecessary expectations on women by women. I appreciate the women (usually it’s women) who step up to be on the pta but I wish they would be mindful of creating unnecessary sh*t to do. Unnecessary because I don’t think the teachers even care about this stuff.

Ding! We really don't.

Our week is laid out like this:

Monday - early breakfast; yes, arriving at school 45 mins. is exactly how I want to start off my week. Especially for some greasy Chick-fil-A.
Tuesday - flower day; my favorites are the hand-drawn flowers instead of real ones as most flowers give me an instant headache. I tell the kids I'm taking them home to brighten up my house but immediately toss them in the trash. I do feel bad for .02 seconds after tossing them.
Wednesday - gift card day; this one makes me most uncomfortable because I always feel like I'm being bribed. 99% of the gift cards received will be for Starbucks, which is awesome, but again, I just don't think that money, even in gift card form, should be exchanged with teachers.
Thursday - card day; they're supposed to be handmade, but most are storebought. Some aren't even signed by the kid and are instead signed by the parent as the kid. To make up for immediately tossing the flowers, I usually keep and display the cards for a week.
Friday - lunch & cake day; catered lunch & cake is fine and probably all that's ever really needed for this week. Some years the room parents will take up a separate collection for a larger gift card and give it to you on this day. Again, it makes me super uncomfortable. I'd rather parents just donated that gift card money to the PTA fund that covers field trip fees for the kids whose parents can't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PTA mom here who also works. At our pta it’s mostly the working parents who put the most time in. I know each school varies. So please don’t make this a sahm/wohm issue.

You can just do the card and send a box of store bought muffins with your kid the day before and ask them to drop it in the office. Done.

Don’t do anything and don’t worry about it like most parents. 75% of our school doesn’t do a damn thing for pta and if each family contributed just one hour a week to the school, it would make it a hell of a lot easier on those 15 parents who literally do everything because no one else is volunteering.

If you’re that upset about it, go to PTA meetings, offer ideas, offer to run just one event or at least spend one hour a year at the book fair or whatever your school has. Maybe it’ll give you an appreciation of the parents who do so much on their own time.

OP here - I have already run 2 events for them this year. I also donated a bunch of very valuable stuff from my workplace. This is one reason why it really bothers me that I was shamed for not participating in this stupid week-long show of how a lot of SAHMs just have way to much time. And how many times do I have to say it - we were given a list of very specific food items, and NONE OF THEM WERE PREPARED.

Okay, then you just need to Practice a response. “Can’t do the food thing this time around, Karen!”

+1 You're making an overly specific rant on all PTAs to an issue that is specific to your school. Did no one teach OP about the perils of generalizing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PTA mom here who also works. At our pta it’s mostly the working parents who put the most time in. I know each school varies. So please don’t make this a sahm/wohm issue.

You can just do the card and send a box of store bought muffins with your kid the day before and ask them to drop it in the office. Done.

Don’t do anything and don’t worry about it like most parents. 75% of our school doesn’t do a damn thing for pta and if each family contributed just one hour a week to the school, it would make it a hell of a lot easier on those 15 parents who literally do everything because no one else is volunteering.

If you’re that upset about it, go to PTA meetings, offer ideas, offer to run just one event or at least spend one hour a year at the book fair or whatever your school has. Maybe it’ll give you an appreciation of the parents who do so much on their own time.

OP here - I have already run 2 events for them this year. I also donated a bunch of very valuable stuff from my workplace. This is one reason why it really bothers me that I was shamed for not participating in this stupid week-long show of how a lot of SAHMs just have way to much time. And how many times do I have to say it - we were given a list of very specific food items, and NONE OF THEM WERE PREPARED.

OP in the amount of time you have been spending complaining on DCUM, you could have made the casserole they wanted. Volunteer or volunteer, who cares, but don't b**** about those who do stuff for the school, because you don't know what they're not doing in their life so they can do the stuff you're complaining about.

[Anonymous]

We have a down to earth PTA, but must give particular kudos to this year's prez. The week of assignments is a thing of the past. Bring a flower if you like and donate money or food to a lunch if you want. Done. I would thank her, but am embarrassed to admit or imply I resented having daily appreciation assignments in the past.

[Anonymous]

OMG the whining.

[Anonymous]

In every school there are those who volunteer to help make school better for teachers and students. And there are those who do absolutely nothing but certainly reap the benefits. In our PTA most of the moms and dads work full time. A few work part time or stay at home. We are all busy. However, we make time to volunteer because we know that it's important. Not only is the help appreciated, but we know that our children benefit by seeing us involved in their schools. Parents like the OP are the takers. The whiners. The unorganized, professional victims.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP,

DON'T DO ANYTHING FOR TEACHER APPRECIATION WEEK.

We don't need resentful people like you hating the PTA just because you can't get it through your thick head that you are under NO OBLIGATION, and that PARTICIPATION IS VOLUNTARY. Why are you taking to heart what a stupid and insensitive person told you? You smile, you say "hmm-mm", and you don't lift a finger.

You really need to grow up. Or maybe you're one of those people who love to feel put-upon?

This. She CHOOSES it.
And she would rather YOU do nothing at all so that she doesn't have to feel like a schmuck for doing nothing because she knows that's crappy and she could choose to send in muffins instead of a casserole even if that's not "on the list" because it's SOMETHING. So instead of just shrugging it off and saying to herself "I'm glad someone is covering this since I can't find a spare minute to do any of it"--she would rather just complain about it, make other people feel that they are in the wrong for coming up with the idea to begin with so that the whole thing would just disappear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In every school there are those who volunteer to help make school better for teachers and students. And there are those who do absolutely nothing but certainly reap the benefits. In our PTA most of the moms and dads work full time. A few work part time or stay at home. We are all busy. However, we make time to volunteer because we know that it's important. Not only is the help appreciated, but we know that our children benefit by seeing us involved in their schools. Parents like the OP are the takers. The whiners. The unorganized, professional victims.

100% this. And you know what, OP. The moms and dads in this category do make the occasional remark (to each other...sometimes with a laugh and sometimes with an eye-roll) that "it's always the same dozen people" who do the heavy volunteer lifting--because it IS!
But we do not go out of our way to belittle your choice to not be involved. Do it or don't do it. But don't dump on us for trying to build a sense of community for our kids and show appreciation for our teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In every school there are those who volunteer to help make school better for teachers and students. And there are those who do absolutely nothing but certainly reap the benefits. In our PTA most of the moms and dads work full time. A few work part time or stay at home. We are all busy. However, we make time to volunteer because we know that it's important. Not only is the help appreciated, but we know that our children benefit by seeing us involved in their schools. Parents like the OP are the takers. The whiners. The unorganized, professional victims.

100% this. And you know what, OP. The moms and dads in this category do make the occasional remark (to each other...sometimes with a laugh and sometimes with an eye-roll) that "it's always the same dozen people" who do the heavy volunteer lifting--because it IS!
But we do not go out of our way to belittle your choice to not be involved. Do it or don't do it. But don't dump on us for trying to build a sense of community for our kids and show appreciation for our teachers.

It seems going out of your way to belittle someone’s choice not to be involved is exactly what is happening. Please stop. I would hope neither of you are representative of your respective PTA’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In every school there are those who volunteer to help make school better for teachers and students. And there are those who do absolutely nothing but certainly reap the benefits. In our PTA most of the moms and dads work full time. A few work part time or stay at home. We are all busy. However, we make time to volunteer because we know that it's important. Not only is the help appreciated, but we know that our children benefit by seeing us involved in their schools. Parents like the OP are the takers. The whiners. The unorganized, professional victims.

100% this. And you know what, OP. The moms and dads in this category do make the occasional remark (to each other...sometimes with a laugh and sometimes with an eye-roll) that "it's always the same dozen people" who do the heavy volunteer lifting--because it IS!
But we do not go out of our way to belittle your choice to not be involved. Do it or don't do it. But don't dump on us for trying to build a sense of community for our kids and show appreciation for our teachers.

It seems going out of your way to belittle someone’s choice not to be involved is exactly what is happening. Please stop. I would hope neither of you are representative of your respective PTA’s.

+1

People who do PTA in my experience aren’t completely selfless. They volunteer because it’s their social outlet or it makes them feel good about themselves.

I’m a SAHM and I don’t do it for my younger kids because I don’t see much benefit, find the meetings extremely inefficient and want to stay out of the catty Mom drama. I did it with my older kids and have decided my time is better spent focused on my own family.

[Anonymous]

We have different suggestions for each day in the hopes that we list at least one thing that everyone can do. For instance, one day is Favorite Color Day. Students are asked to wear their teacher’s favorite color that day. It’s silly... but a simple way for everyone to participate and show their teacher a little love. Some kids will do every day’s suggestion... but that’s not the goal. The goal is to show the teachers we care.

[Anonymous]

Sorry you didn’t marry a rich guy.

[Anonymous]

Actually, a nice, and free, thing you can do for a teacher to send a note to him or her, and copy their principal, talking about the great things they did for your child and how much your child has learned and grown in their classroom. Not only makes the teacher's day, but because it goes in their personnel file, others get to hear about how great they are too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree completely OP. I can’t imagine that question would have been asked of a dad. It’s more unnecessary expectations on women by women. I appreciate the women (usually it’s women) who step up to be on the pta but I wish they would be mindful of creating unnecessary sh*t to do. Unnecessary because I don’t think the teachers even care about this stuff.

Ding! We really don't.

Our week is laid out like this:

Monday - early breakfast; yes, arriving at school 45 mins. is exactly how I want to start off my week. Especially for some greasy Chick-fil-A.
Tuesday - flower day; my favorites are the hand-drawn flowers instead of real ones as most flowers give me an instant headache. I tell the kids I'm taking them home to brighten up my house but immediately toss them in the trash. I do feel bad for .02 seconds after tossing them.
Wednesday - gift card day; this one makes me most uncomfortable because I always feel like I'm being bribed. 99% of the gift cards received will be for Starbucks, which is awesome, but again, I just don't think that money, even in gift card form, should be exchanged with teachers.
Thursday - card day; they're supposed to be handmade, but most are storebought. Some aren't even signed by the kid and are instead signed by the parent as the kid. To make up for immediately tossing the flowers, I usually keep and display the cards for a week.
Friday - lunch & cake day; catered lunch & cake is fine and probably all that's ever really needed for this week. Some years the room parents will take up a separate collection for a larger gift card and give it to you on this day. Again, it makes me super uncomfortable. I'd rather parents just donated that gift card money to the PTA fund that covers field trip fees for the kids whose parents can't.

You are so obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree completely OP. I can’t imagine that question would have been asked of a dad. It’s more unnecessary expectations on women by women. I appreciate the women (usually it’s women) who step up to be on the pta but I wish they would be mindful of creating unnecessary sh*t to do. Unnecessary because I don’t think the teachers even care about this stuff.

Ding! We really don't.

Our week is laid out like this:

Monday - early breakfast; yes, arriving at school 45 mins. is exactly how I want to start off my week. Especially for some greasy Chick-fil-A.
Tuesday - flower day; my favorites are the hand-drawn flowers instead of real ones as most flowers give me an instant headache. I tell the kids I'm taking them home to brighten up my house but immediately toss them in the trash. I do feel bad for .02 seconds after tossing them.
Wednesday - gift card day; this one makes me most uncomfortable because I always feel like I'm being bribed. 99% of the gift cards received will be for Starbucks, which is awesome, but again, I just don't think that money, even in gift card form, should be exchanged with teachers.
Thursday - card day; they're supposed to be handmade, but most are storebought. Some aren't even signed by the kid and are instead signed by the parent as the kid. To make up for immediately tossing the flowers, I usually keep and display the cards for a week.
Friday - lunch & cake day; catered lunch & cake is fine and probably all that's ever really needed for this week. Some years the room parents will take up a separate collection for a larger gift card and give it to you on this day. Again, it makes me super uncomfortable. I'd rather parents just donated that gift card money to the PTA fund that covers field trip fees for the kids whose parents can't.

You are so obnoxious.

I disagree. This is an anonymous message board. I’m sure she’s polite in person. I mean, would you want to arrive 45 min early to work for breakfast? I wouldn’t. I would want 45 min less time at work!