RANT - I Hate the PTA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our PTA has ever so helpfully organized teacher appreciation week into a 5 day ordeal of holly homemaker hell. They have given us a different assignment for each day of the week - day 1, bring in 1 flower for the teacher, day 2 bring in food for a 7am breakfast, day 3 have a your child make a card for the teacher, day 4 get your teacher something from a "wish list" and day 5 bring in a gift for a specialist.

I have 3 jobs, I am running on 5 hours sleep, and I don't have a nanny, housekeeper, or even a babysitter, and one of these women - the kind that hasn't worked a day in 20 years but whines constantly about how hard it is being a stay-at-home mom, asks me what I'm bringing to the breakfast, and I say NOTHING. I am at work at 7am and don't have time, and she says - everyone is busy, you just have to make time!

What is wrong with these women? This is one more domestic expectation that seems to be forced only on women, regardless of whether or not we work as much as men. PTA is a tool of oppression and I want to punch it in the face.

PTA board member here with a crazy full time job. We are hosting a breakfast one day that we aren't asking other parents to contribute to, and delivering cupcakes another day.Rest of the week we suggested kids can bring a school supply one day, wear their teachers favorite color on one, write a note on one day and we already supplied the note card... All voluntary but if all this is a burden then I don't know what else to say... By the way, only 3 of us have volunteered to help set up for breakfast. And only 5 helped with a recent muffins for mom event in which 160 moms apparently didnt think it was a burden to show up for.

LOL at you putting all this shit on the moms. Are you in a school for kids with only mothers?

What part of this story would make you assume that I'm putting this shit on the moms? LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our PTA has ever so helpfully organized teacher appreciation week into a 5 day ordeal of holly homemaker hell. They have given us a different assignment for each day of the week - day 1, bring in 1 flower for the teacher, day 2 bring in food for a 7am breakfast, day 3 have a your child make a card for the teacher, day 4 get your teacher something from a "wish list" and day 5 bring in a gift for a specialist.

I have 3 jobs, I am running on 5 hours sleep, and I don't have a nanny, housekeeper, or even a babysitter, and one of these women - the kind that hasn't worked a day in 20 years but whines constantly about how hard it is being a stay-at-home mom, asks me what I'm bringing to the breakfast, and I say NOTHING. I am at work at 7am and don't have time, and she says - everyone is busy, you just have to make time!

What is wrong with these women? This is one more domestic expectation that seems to be forced only on women, regardless of whether or not we work as much as men. PTA is a tool of oppression and I want to punch it in the face.

PTA board member here with a crazy full time job. We are hosting a breakfast one day that we aren't asking other parents to contribute to, and delivering cupcakes another day.Rest of the week we suggested kids can bring a school supply one day, wear their teachers favorite color on one, write a note on one day and we already supplied the note card... All voluntary but if all this is a burden then I don't know what else to say... By the way, only 3 of us have volunteered to help set up for breakfast. And only 5 helped with a recent muffins for mom event in which 160 moms apparently didnt think it was a burden to show up for.

Why have all those random assignments? Do you really think the teachers care about the kids wearing the teacher's favorite color? Another common one is a flower one day. How about just doing what you want to, like the breakfast, and just let parents do what they see fit? Why are you assigning adults what to send in? I know I'll get flamed, but I am very turned off by the ridiculous assignments (e.g., cold beverage day). I find myself resentful. When my kids were in preschool there was one event at the end of the week and I gave generously and happily.

Because in my school, if the PTA doesn't initiate it, nothing will happen. These are SUGGESTIONS, not requirements. I don't get why one should feel guilty, resentful, or annoyed by the PTA at making suggestions.. We explicitly said that this is a voluntary thing and to feel free to do something else or nothing at all.This should cause zero stress. And to the parents who seem to hate the PTA, including OP- Do you prefer that your school doesn't have a PTA?

People get annoyed because it's not just a suggestion. It's badgering. A letter home or email reminding parents about teacher appreciation is fine. Getting a note home suggesting what to do, followed by a room mom email, followed by a PTA email, followed up by multiple "we don't have enough" emails starts to feel coercive rather than voluntary. I'm passive aggressive so grudgingly sign up because I don't want things not to go well or for there not to be enough X for each teacher. Zero stress would be letting me go buy my gift cards and having my kids write thank you notes without the constant emails about all the things the PTA thought up, but can't muster enough support for without constant badgering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid's school has parents sign up to make the teachers each a homemade dinner during TA week. This seems like such a waste - this stuff goes right in the trash, right??

I’m a teacher. I don’t eat homemade-anything that’s given to me by students or their parents. Sorry!

Pretty much. I don't eat homemade food from people I don't know. I may be with your kid 5 days per week, but it doesn't mean I know you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our PTA has ever so helpfully organized teacher appreciation week into a 5 day ordeal of holly homemaker hell. They have given us a different assignment for each day of the week - day 1, bring in 1 flower for the teacher, day 2 bring in food for a 7am breakfast, day 3 have a your child make a card for the teacher, day 4 get your teacher something from a "wish list" and day 5 bring in a gift for a specialist.

I have 3 jobs, I am running on 5 hours sleep, and I don't have a nanny, housekeeper, or even a babysitter, and one of these women - the kind that hasn't worked a day in 20 years but whines constantly about how hard it is being a stay-at-home mom, asks me what I'm bringing to the breakfast, and I say NOTHING. I am at work at 7am and don't have time, and she says - everyone is busy, you just have to make time!

What is wrong with these women? This is one more domestic expectation that seems to be forced only on women, regardless of whether or not we work as much as men. PTA is a tool of oppression and I want to punch it in the face.

PTA board member here with a crazy full time job. We are hosting a breakfast one day that we aren't asking other parents to contribute to, and delivering cupcakes another day.Rest of the week we suggested kids can bring a school supply one day, wear their teachers favorite color on one, write a note on one day and we already supplied the note card... All voluntary but if all this is a burden then I don't know what else to say... By the way, only 3 of us have volunteered to help set up for breakfast. And only 5 helped with a recent muffins for mom event in which 160 moms apparently didnt think it was a burden to show up for.

Why have all those random assignments? Do you really think the teachers care about the kids wearing the teacher's favorite color? Another common one is a flower one day. How about just doing what you want to, like the breakfast, and just let parents do what they see fit? Why are you assigning adults what to send in? I know I'll get flamed, but I am very turned off by the ridiculous assignments (e.g., cold beverage day). I find myself resentful. When my kids were in preschool there was one event at the end of the week and I gave generously and happily.

Because in my school, if the PTA doesn't initiate it, nothing will happen. These are SUGGESTIONS, not requirements. I don't get why one should feel guilty, resentful, or annoyed by the PTA at making suggestions.. We explicitly said that this is a voluntary thing and to feel free to do something else or nothing at all.This should cause zero stress. And to the parents who seem to hate the PTA, including OP- Do you prefer that your school doesn't have a PTA?

People get annoyed because it's not just a suggestion. It's badgering. A letter home or email reminding parents about teacher appreciation is fine. Getting a note home suggesting what to do, followed by a room mom email, followed by a PTA email, followed up by multiple "we don't have enough" emails starts to feel coercive rather than voluntary. I'm passive aggressive so grudgingly sign up because I don't want things not to go well or for there not to be enough X for each teacher. Zero stress would be letting me go buy my gift cards and having my kids write thank you notes without the constant emails about all the things the PTA thought up, but can't muster enough support for without constant badgering.

PTA mom here. Not sure about your school, but our PTA sent ONE email. One. I'm sure most parents forgot about it since we didn't send a reminder and I'm sure we'll get complaints about that. We didn't badger anyone to volunteer although as I noted, only 3 people are helping set up breakfast this week. What you are doing (buying a thank you card, etc.) are all things that we suggested. What part of that would make you annoyed? If you're already doing these things, great. Just think of emails as a way to remind other parents who aren't like you. If you're bothered by the emails, I'm sure you can ask them to remove you from the PTA email list. I'm still curious what your PTA does that's considered badgering. Most PTAs I know send out suggestions for Teacher Appreciation Week, never heard any of it being mandatory or coercive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our PTA has ever so helpfully organized teacher appreciation week into a 5 day ordeal of holly homemaker hell. They have given us a different assignment for each day of the week - day 1, bring in 1 flower for the teacher, day 2 bring in food for a 7am breakfast, day 3 have a your child make a card for the teacher, day 4 get your teacher something from a "wish list" and day 5 bring in a gift for a specialist.

I have 3 jobs, I am running on 5 hours sleep, and I don't have a nanny, housekeeper, or even a babysitter, and one of these women - the kind that hasn't worked a day in 20 years but whines constantly about how hard it is being a stay-at-home mom, asks me what I'm bringing to the breakfast, and I say NOTHING. I am at work at 7am and don't have time, and she says - everyone is busy, you just have to make time!

What is wrong with these women? This is one more domestic expectation that seems to be forced only on women, regardless of whether or not we work as much as men. PTA is a tool of oppression and I want to punch it in the face.

PTA board member here with a crazy full time job. We are hosting a breakfast one day that we aren't asking other parents to contribute to, and delivering cupcakes another day.Rest of the week we suggested kids can bring a school supply one day, wear their teachers favorite color on one, write a note on one day and we already supplied the note card... All voluntary but if all this is a burden then I don't know what else to say... By the way, only 3 of us have volunteered to help set up for breakfast. And only 5 helped with a recent muffins for mom event in which 160 moms apparently didnt think it was a burden to show up for.

Why have all those random assignments? Do you really think the teachers care about the kids wearing the teacher's favorite color? Another common one is a flower one day. How about just doing what you want to, like the breakfast, and just let parents do what they see fit? Why are you assigning adults what to send in? I know I'll get flamed, but I am very turned off by the ridiculous assignments (e.g., cold beverage day). I find myself resentful. When my kids were in preschool there was one event at the end of the week and I gave generously and happily.

Because in my school, if the PTA doesn't initiate it, nothing will happen. These are SUGGESTIONS, not requirements. I don't get why one should feel guilty, resentful, or annoyed by the PTA at making suggestions.. We explicitly said that this is a voluntary thing and to feel free to do something else or nothing at all.This should cause zero stress. And to the parents who seem to hate the PTA, including OP- Do you prefer that your school doesn't have a PTA?

People get annoyed because it's not just a suggestion. It's badgering. A letter home or email reminding parents about teacher appreciation is fine. Getting a note home suggesting what to do, followed by a room mom email, followed by a PTA email, followed up by multiple "we don't have enough" emails starts to feel coercive rather than voluntary. I'm passive aggressive so grudgingly sign up because I don't want things not to go well or for there not to be enough X for each teacher. Zero stress would be letting me go buy my gift cards and having my kids write thank you notes without the constant emails about all the things the PTA thought up, but can't muster enough support for without constant badgering.

Can you recognize that it might just be the way your PTA functions? Because all I was asked to do was have my kid send a card. That's it.

[Anonymous]

Just don't participate. My son said "why isn't there a lawyer appreciation day?" and I told him that we lawyers are already appreciated enough. It's a purely voluntary thing at your school, right? Do one day, do 5 days, it's up to you. Do no days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our PTA has ever so helpfully organized teacher appreciation week into a 5 day ordeal of holly homemaker hell. They have given us a different assignment for each day of the week - day 1, bring in 1 flower for the teacher, day 2 bring in food for a 7am breakfast, day 3 have a your child make a card for the teacher, day 4 get your teacher something from a "wish list" and day 5 bring in a gift for a specialist.

I have 3 jobs, I am running on 5 hours sleep, and I don't have a nanny, housekeeper, or even a babysitter, and one of these women - the kind that hasn't worked a day in 20 years but whines constantly about how hard it is being a stay-at-home mom, asks me what I'm bringing to the breakfast, and I say NOTHING. I am at work at 7am and don't have time, and she says - everyone is busy, you just have to make time!

What is wrong with these women? This is one more domestic expectation that seems to be forced only on women, regardless of whether or not we work as much as men. PTA is a tool of oppression and I want to punch it in the face.

PTA board member here with a crazy full time job. We are hosting a breakfast one day that we aren't asking other parents to contribute to, and delivering cupcakes another day.Rest of the week we suggested kids can bring a school supply one day, wear their teachers favorite color on one, write a note on one day and we already supplied the note card... All voluntary but if all this is a burden then I don't know what else to say... By the way, only 3 of us have volunteered to help set up for breakfast. And only 5 helped with a recent muffins for mom event in which 160 moms apparently didnt think it was a burden to show up for.

Why have all those random assignments? Do you really think the teachers care about the kids wearing the teacher's favorite color? Another common one is a flower one day. How about just doing what you want to, like the breakfast, and just let parents do what they see fit? Why are you assigning adults what to send in? I know I'll get flamed, but I am very turned off by the ridiculous assignments (e.g., cold beverage day). I find myself resentful. When my kids were in preschool there was one event at the end of the week and I gave generously and happily.

Because in my school, if the PTA doesn't initiate it, nothing will happen. These are SUGGESTIONS, not requirements. I don't get why one should feel guilty, resentful, or annoyed by the PTA at making suggestions.. We explicitly said that this is a voluntary thing and to feel free to do something else or nothing at all.This should cause zero stress. And to the parents who seem to hate the PTA, including OP- Do you prefer that your school doesn't have a PTA?

People get annoyed because it's not just a suggestion. It's badgering. A letter home or email reminding parents about teacher appreciation is fine. Getting a note home suggesting what to do, followed by a room mom email, followed by a PTA email, followed up by multiple "we don't have enough" emails starts to feel coercive rather than voluntary. I'm passive aggressive so grudgingly sign up because I don't want things not to go well or for there not to be enough X for each teacher. Zero stress would be letting me go buy my gift cards and having my kids write thank you notes without the constant emails about all the things the PTA thought up, but can't muster enough support for without constant badgering.

Can you recognize that it might just be the way your PTA functions? Because all I was asked to do was have my kid send a card. That's it.

Yes, that is how the PTA at my kids' school functions, but it seems (based on other posts here and from friends) that other PTAs do the same. Count yourself lucky that yours doesn't do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our PTA has ever so helpfully organized teacher appreciation week into a 5 day ordeal of holly homemaker hell. They have given us a different assignment for each day of the week - day 1, bring in 1 flower for the teacher, day 2 bring in food for a 7am breakfast, day 3 have a your child make a card for the teacher, day 4 get your teacher something from a "wish list" and day 5 bring in a gift for a specialist.

I have 3 jobs, I am running on 5 hours sleep, and I don't have a nanny, housekeeper, or even a babysitter, and one of these women - the kind that hasn't worked a day in 20 years but whines constantly about how hard it is being a stay-at-home mom, asks me what I'm bringing to the breakfast, and I say NOTHING. I am at work at 7am and don't have time, and she says - everyone is busy, you just have to make time!

What is wrong with these women? This is one more domestic expectation that seems to be forced only on women, regardless of whether or not we work as much as men. PTA is a tool of oppression and I want to punch it in the face.

PTA board member here with a crazy full time job. We are hosting a breakfast one day that we aren't asking other parents to contribute to, and delivering cupcakes another day.Rest of the week we suggested kids can bring a school supply one day, wear their teachers favorite color on one, write a note on one day and we already supplied the note card... All voluntary but if all this is a burden then I don't know what else to say... By the way, only 3 of us have volunteered to help set up for breakfast. And only 5 helped with a recent muffins for mom event in which 160 moms apparently didnt think it was a burden to show up for.

Why have all those random assignments? Do you really think the teachers care about the kids wearing the teacher's favorite color? Another common one is a flower one day. How about just doing what you want to, like the breakfast, and just let parents do what they see fit? Why are you assigning adults what to send in? I know I'll get flamed, but I am very turned off by the ridiculous assignments (e.g., cold beverage day). I find myself resentful. When my kids were in preschool there was one event at the end of the week and I gave generously and happily.

Because in my school, if the PTA doesn't initiate it, nothing will happen. These are SUGGESTIONS, not requirements. I don't get why one should feel guilty, resentful, or annoyed by the PTA at making suggestions.. We explicitly said that this is a voluntary thing and to feel free to do something else or nothing at all.This should cause zero stress. And to the parents who seem to hate the PTA, including OP- Do you prefer that your school doesn't have a PTA?

People get annoyed because it's not just a suggestion. It's badgering. A letter home or email reminding parents about teacher appreciation is fine. Getting a note home suggesting what to do, followed by a room mom email, followed by a PTA email, followed up by multiple "we don't have enough" emails starts to feel coercive rather than voluntary. I'm passive aggressive so grudgingly sign up because I don't want things not to go well or for there not to be enough X for each teacher. Zero stress would be letting me go buy my gift cards and having my kids write thank you notes without the constant emails about all the things the PTA thought up, but can't muster enough support for without constant badgering.

Can you recognize that it might just be the way your PTA functions? Because all I was asked to do was have my kid send a card. That's it.

Yes, that is how the PTA at my kids' school functions, but it seems (based on other posts here and from friends) that other PTAs do the same. Count yourself lucky that yours doesn't do that.

I do. But I also wouldn't post a rant called "I Hate the PTA" because this thread really should be titled "I Hate the PTA at School X" because the PTA at my school is terrific and respectful of people's time and really provides some great enrichment activities for the school community.

[Anonymous]

To pile on the other 11 pages, I’m also fed up with this week and I’m a teacher as well as a mom. I was guilted into signing up for a bunch of things for my kids school so I wasn’t the only mom who didn’t participate. I bought the gift cards and food for the breakfast and need to get the kids to make the cards and write letters.

I feel bad for the PTA moms at our school with the Pinterest ideas. I’m at a high school so toned way down but really, none of this is necessary. We don’t need the candy and gum in our mailboxes with cute phrases and decorations.

[Anonymous]

What's odd about teacher appreciation week is that the PTA is telling us how to appreciate the teachers. Really it should be up to the individual family to appreciate the teachers in whatever way they see fit. Also why it is a whole week and not just one day? It's time consuming to read an entire page of stuff, figure out which things I am willing to do, and then follow through with it. Okay, whine, whine, whine. It's probably harder for the teachers to teach my kids day in day out, but still it is rant worthy.

[Anonymous]

A sincere thank you note with some specific examples of gratitude would be more appreciated than some of the pinterest ideas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just don't participate. My son said "why isn't there a lawyer appreciation day?" and I told him that we lawyers are already appreciated enough. It's a purely voluntary thing at your school, right? Do one day, do 5 days, it's up to you. Do no days.

Your lawyer paycheck is probably enough appreciation. Teachers? Not so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our PTA has ever so helpfully organized teacher appreciation week into a 5 day ordeal of holly homemaker hell. They have given us a different assignment for each day of the week - day 1, bring in 1 flower for the teacher, day 2 bring in food for a 7am breakfast, day 3 have a your child make a card for the teacher, day 4 get your teacher something from a "wish list" and day 5 bring in a gift for a specialist.

I have 3 jobs, I am running on 5 hours sleep, and I don't have a nanny, housekeeper, or even a babysitter, and one of these women - the kind that hasn't worked a day in 20 years but whines constantly about how hard it is being a stay-at-home mom, asks me what I'm bringing to the breakfast, and I say NOTHING. I am at work at 7am and don't have time, and she says - everyone is busy, you just have to make time!

What is wrong with these women? This is one more domestic expectation that seems to be forced only on women, regardless of whether or not we work as much as men. PTA is a tool of oppression and I want to punch it in the face.

PTA board member here with a crazy full time job. We are hosting a breakfast one day that we aren't asking other parents to contribute to, and delivering cupcakes another day.Rest of the week we suggested kids can bring a school supply one day, wear their teachers favorite color on one, write a note on one day and we already supplied the note card... All voluntary but if all this is a burden then I don't know what else to say... By the way, only 3 of us have volunteered to help set up for breakfast. And only 5 helped with a recent muffins for mom event in which 160 moms apparently didnt think it was a burden to show up for.

Why have all those random assignments? Do you really think the teachers care about the kids wearing the teacher's favorite color? Another common one is a flower one day. How about just doing what you want to, like the breakfast, and just let parents do what they see fit? Why are you assigning adults what to send in? I know I'll get flamed, but I am very turned off by the ridiculous assignments (e.g., cold beverage day). I find myself resentful. When my kids were in preschool there was one event at the end of the week and I gave generously and happily.

Because in my school, if the PTA doesn't initiate it, nothing will happen. These are SUGGESTIONS, not requirements. I don't get why one should feel guilty, resentful, or annoyed by the PTA at making suggestions.. We explicitly said that this is a voluntary thing and to feel free to do something else or nothing at all.This should cause zero stress. And to the parents who seem to hate the PTA, including OP- Do you prefer that your school doesn't have a PTA?

People get annoyed because it's not just a suggestion. It's badgering. A letter home or email reminding parents about teacher appreciation is fine. Getting a note home suggesting what to do, followed by a room mom email, followed by a PTA email, followed up by multiple "we don't have enough" emails starts to feel coercive rather than voluntary. I'm passive aggressive so grudgingly sign up because I don't want things not to go well or for there not to be enough X for each teacher. Zero stress would be letting me go buy my gift cards and having my kids write thank you notes without the constant emails about all the things the PTA thought up, but can't muster enough support for without constant badgering.

THIS. Exactly. I am the president of our PTA, and this is exactly what happens. Every year a handful of women (all white, wealthy SAHMS) will come up with all these ideas for things that burden both teachers and parents, and then they simply can't be talked out of it. I try to tell them that we don't have enough volunteer resources, or that it's the second time this month we've asked for money, but they get snippy about it or just go and do it anyway. I thought I could change some of this, but it's pretty hopeless. These women are unbelievably insular; they don't seem to even be aware that not everyone's life is exactly like theirs. Nor do they care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don't participate. My son said "why isn't there a lawyer appreciation day?" and I told him that we lawyers are already appreciated enough. It's a purely voluntary thing at your school, right? Do one day, do 5 days, it's up to you. Do no days.

Your lawyer paycheck is probably enough appreciation. Teachers? Not so much.

Teachers in Northern Virginia are fairly well-paid, and they have a benefits package, including full retirement, that is second to none.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In every school there are those who volunteer to help make school better for teachers and students. And there are those who do absolutely nothing but certainly reap the benefits. In our PTA most of the moms and dads work full time. A few work part time or stay at home. We are all busy. However, we make time to volunteer because we know that it's important. Not only is the help appreciated, but we know that our children benefit by seeing us involved in their schools. Parents like the OP are the takers. The whiners. The unorganized, professional victims.

New poster: But many teacher respondents here say they don't want[b] all the "help" and "appreciation" in the canned forms they are given. Some volunteering is helpful and contributes to learning and school functioning, but I think what is frustrating is that there is quite a bit of it does not--and in some ways creates distractions, hassles and alienation from parents who are deemed "takers" because they don't think the activities requested for x party or y appreciation week are a good use of their time or the best way to support teachers. The OP has said she has done stuff at the school just doesn't like to be told a list of cutesy requirements. Sure her rant of hate against the PTA is over-the-top, but when you have a crying child who thinks their teacher will be mad because they didn't bring a flower and a muffin and a card and a gift card etc. on the right days of the week, it can push people to rant. And I really appreciate teachers, try to help out in ways that I think help them, advocate for public policies that support education, and volunteer for the things that I think actually add value to the school-- working with struggling readers, helping with putting on plays etc.