Would you let a teenage boy babysit your preschool girl?

[Anonymous]

If you really worry about getting into a car accident don't get in the car with a female driver. I don't have nightmares about car crashes. I do about someone molesting my daughters. I also think that molestation like rape is severely underreported due to the shame factor and probably shockingly common. I believe most people are inherently bad. That is why I will not put a boy or man in a tempting situation wwith my daughters. DH babysat but if I have a son he will not be allowed to -- not even his sisters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no

Agree, no way! It might be sad, but reality is that the majority of sexual offenders are male and I would never take that chance with my kids - boy or girl (I have one of each). I also will not even leave my kids with most of our male relatives. My brother and one grandfather are the only ones they have ever been with them alone. Granted we don't live near family so the fact that the kids don't know our extended family that well is also a factor.

My dad was molested by a teenage boy of a family friend when they dropped him off at their house to stay while they went out. The boy wasn't even home alone with him. The primary babaysitter was supposed to be the family friend (the mom) and it still happened.

I know logically not every male is a sexual predator,but it's just not an experience you can reverse or fix if something happened.

And when your son is a bit older, and asks why he never has a male sitter (or coach, if you go that far), what will you tell him? That you're sorry, but boys just can't be trusted?

Just a thought.

[Anonymous]

Louise Woodward? Anyone?

[Anonymous]

The FACTS:

http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/189102.pdf

Most interesting:

Babysitters are responsible for a relatively small portion of the reported criminal offenses against children: 4.2 percent of all offenses for children under age 6—less than the percentage accounted for by family members or strangers. Basically your own family is more dangerous than ANY babysitter you could hire.

Males constitute the majority of sexoffending babysitters reported to the police (77 percent); females make up the majority of physical assaulters (64 percent). Females still commit 23% of sexual offenses agaist children, that is nearly a quarter and are clearly more likely to physically abuse your child

Juvenile offenders are responsible for nearly half the babysitter sex crimes known to police (48 percent) but only 15 percent of the physical assaults. you take the first statistic I posted and this is such a small percentage.

I see more reason to keep a close watch on strangers and family members, not to shun male babysitters over an irrational fear, just the same as I don't feel the desire to wear a parachute when flying in a commercial plane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dad here. I find this thread terribly disturbing. I babysat kids even at the age of 11 and we've had both teenage boy and girl sitters for our son. They're all great kids. A lot of you moms are engaging in some pretty reprehensible gender stereotyping. You'd be appalled if a man made generalizations about girls/women (like, why hire a woman when she's only going to get pregnant and leave at some point...) but many of you are doing just that with respect to boys/men. Pretty appalling.

Not all of us are paraniod misandrists as some of these posters. You sound like my husband who I mentioned earlier. Male babysitters make the BEST partners! And also make for pretty fun babysitters.

These same women who are aghast at the thought of a male babysitter are probably the same ones chronically bitching and complaining about how their husbands never help around the house, when they are the ones nourishing sterotypes and outdated gender roles.

In my case, this is not true. I posted earlier that I would NEVER let a male (especially a teen) babysit my DD and DS. My dad was molested by a son of a family friend and I just couldn't do it considering the statistics of most sexual predators being male. As for my DH, he does at least 50% or more of the household and childcare duties and is a wonderful husband and father. He was not, however, interested as a teen in babysitting and didn't even like holding a baby. He has always said he thought it was strange that a teenage boy would be interested in babysitting.

I'm the dad who originally posted and I find it strange, I have to admit, that your husband thinks it's strange that a teenage boy would be interested in babysitting. Many teen boys have helped their parents with younger siblings and it's a great way to earn money. I myself babysat as a pre-teen and into my teenage years. We also know a lot of parents of boys who are into sports and a teen boy sitter is great for those types of kids. We're not oblivious to the dangers out there but personally, I would never want to be like many of the moms who've posted here -- hyper-vigilant and suspicious about everything, probably armed with a minute by minute checklist of what the sitter has to do with their kids. Yeah, we've had teen sitters who maybe let our son stay up a bit later than he should, or didn't make sure he brushed his teeth first, but we don't lose sleep over stuff like this -- the important thing is that our son has fun with them for the couple of hours that we're out for the evening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not about what percent chance of risk there actually is especially when the harm is so great. The point is that you can pretty much eliminate the risk altogether by not allowing your child to be left alone with men you do not know extremely well.

I'm 100% sure that NONE of my mom friends would ever sexually harm my children. Their husbands? I don't think any are sexual predators and I'm not actually worried, but I'm not 100% sure. That's the point. The risk is low, the harm is great, and the solution is relatively easy.

Dad here again. What a load of BS. Interestingly, we have a number of single mom friends who do look for men friends to spend time with their kids. Our son has spent time alone with other men friends and I just cannot fathom the level of suspicion here. DCUM moms probably are a unique subgroup because among the families we know in Arlington, no one thinks like many of you do. And that's not to say people are oblivious. Women don't let their young sons go alone to public bathrooms but their suspicion doesn't extend to friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The FACTS:

http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/189102.pdf

Most interesting:

Babysitters are responsible for a relatively small portion of the reported criminal offenses against children: 4.2 percent of all offenses for children under age 6—less than the percentage accounted for by family members or strangers. Basically your own family is more dangerous than ANY babysitter you could hire.

Males constitute the majority of sexoffending babysitters reported to the police (77 percent); females make up the majority of physical assaulters (64 percent). Females still commit 23% of sexual offenses agaist children, that is nearly a quarter and are clearly more likely to physically abuse your child

Juvenile offenders are responsible for nearly half the babysitter sex crimes known to police (48 percent) but only 15 percent of the physical assaults. you take the first statistic I posted and this is such a small percentage.

I see more reason to keep a close watch on strangers and family members, not to shun male babysitters over an irrational fear, just the same as I don't feel the desire to wear a parachute when flying in a commercial plane.

But I thought that men were waay more likely to kill a chiild.
OP, my answer would be no.
When a man loses his temper, it is not pretty.
BTW, those kids are a bit too young for any teen sitter. You need an older more mature person.
I would use the teens when your youngest is 5.

[Anonymous]

Dad again. Interested what some of the Suspicious Moms do about male counselors in summer camps. Our son's daycamp had tons of teen male counselors (many of whom also babysit).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The FACTS:

http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/189102.pdf

Most interesting:

Babysitters are responsible for a relatively small portion of the reported criminal offenses against children: 4.2 percent of all offenses for children under age 6—less than the percentage accounted for by family members or strangers. Basically your own family is more dangerous than ANY babysitter you could hire.

Males constitute the majority of sexoffending babysitters reported to the police (77 percent); females make up the majority of physical assaulters (64 percent). Females still commit 23% of sexual offenses agaist children, that is nearly a quarter and are clearly more likely to physically abuse your child

Juvenile offenders are responsible for nearly half the babysitter sex crimes known to police (48 percent) but only 15 percent of the physical assaults. you take the first statistic I posted and this is such a small percentage.

I see more reason to keep a close watch on strangers and family members, not to shun male babysitters over an irrational fear, just the same as I don't feel the desire to wear a parachute when flying in a commercial plane.

This does not take into account the amount if time these providers are with the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dad here. I find this thread terribly disturbing. I babysat kids even at the age of 11 and we've had both teenage boy and girl sitters for our son. They're all great kids. A lot of you moms are engaging in some pretty reprehensible gender stereotyping. You'd be appalled if a man made generalizations about girls/women (like, why hire a woman when she's only going to get pregnant and leave at some point...) but many of you are doing just that with respect to boys/men. Pretty appalling.

Not all of us are paraniod misandrists as some of these posters. You sound like my husband who I mentioned earlier. Male babysitters make the BEST partners! And also make for pretty fun babysitters.

These same women who are aghast at the thought of a male babysitter are probably the same ones chronically bitching and complaining about how their husbands never help around the house, when they are the ones nourishing sterotypes and outdated gender roles.

In my case, this is not true. I posted earlier that I would NEVER let a male (especially a teen) babysit my DD and DS. My dad was molested by a son of a family friend and I just couldn't do it considering the statistics of most sexual predators being male. As for my DH, he does at least 50% or more of the household and childcare duties and is a wonderful husband and father. He was not, however, interested as a teen in babysitting and didn't even like holding a baby. He has always said he thought it was strange that a teenage boy would be interested in babysitting.

Maybe your DH has some sexual feelings as a teen he was uncomfortable with and was wise to stay away from young boys and girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The FACTS:

http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/189102.pdf

Most interesting:

Babysitters are responsible for a relatively small portion of the reported criminal offenses against children: 4.2 percent of all offenses for children under age 6—less than the percentage accounted for by family members or strangers. Basically your own family is more dangerous than ANY babysitter you could hire.

Males constitute the majority of sexoffending babysitters reported to the police (77 percent); females make up the majority of physical assaulters (64 percent). Females still commit 23% of sexual offenses agaist children, that is nearly a quarter and are clearly more likely to physically abuse your child

Juvenile offenders are responsible for nearly half the babysitter sex crimes known to police (48 percent) but only 15 percent of the physical assaults. you take the first statistic I posted and this is such a small percentage.

I see more reason to keep a close watch on strangers and family members, not to shun male babysitters over an irrational fear, just the same as I don't feel the desire to wear a parachute when flying in a commercial plane.

But I thought that men were waay more likely to kill a chiild.
OP, my answer would be no.
When a man loses his temper, it is not pretty.
BTW, those kids are a bit too young for any teen sitter. You need an older more mature person.
I would use the teens when your youngest is 5.

Read the whole government study and you will find your answer, no such support in a babysitting context. Women are more likely to dole out physical abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you really worry about getting into a car accident don't get in the car with a female driver. I don't have nightmares about car crashes. I do about someone molesting my daughters. I also think that molestation like rape is severely underreported due to the shame factor and probably shockingly common. I believe most people are inherently bad. That is why I will not put a boy or man in a tempting situation wwith my daughters. DH babysat but if I have a son he will not be allowed to -- not even his sisters.

I would believe this is right. I was fondled twice as a child. Still vividly remember it. Never reported it. Both men (one an uncle, one a teenaged brother of a friend at a sleepover).

I'm going to go with an excessive amount of caution on this issue. Just the way it is.

[Anonymous]

Males constitute the majority of sexoffending babysitters reported to the police (77 percent); females make up the majority of physical assaulters (64 percent). Females still commit 23% of sexual offenses agaist children, that is nearly a quarter and are clearly more likely to physically abuse your child

This doesn't mean that women are more likely to physically abuse a child. You're looking at the wrong numbers, because the number of babysitters is heavily skewed toward women. You have to ask: Of female babysitters, what percentage commit abuses? Of male babysitters, what percentage commit abuses? The percentage of sex offenders clearly skews male, but from these figures, you can't tell if women or men are more likely to commit physical abuse.

[Anonymous]

OK, I haven't read the whole thread, but my answer is, "it depends on the teenage boy," and "probably."

I've certainly let a teenage boy babysit my son when he was that age.

I was baby sat as a child by a teenage boy on occasion (nothing untoward happened).

Trust your gut. If your gut gives you a different answer than what I've come up with, that's OK.

[Anonymous]

i have and will continue to have both male and female babysitters for my children