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Would you let a teenage boy babysit your preschool girl?
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Anonymous
| Obviously, OP, it depends on your comfort level with the situation. If you know him well, trust him, and think your kids would like him, go for it. If you're not sure, what about having him over to help sometime when you're there to get a feel for how he interacts with your kids? |
Anonymous
| I don't trust any teenager. Male or female. I wouldn't even leave my teenaged self with my kids. |
Anonymous
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I'd say No, but only because I was babysat by two teen brothers who lived next door when I was young. They babysat my brother and I on a regular basis.
I was touched at bedtime in all sorts of innapropriate ways every time they sat with us. Something I've never shared with anyone and at the time I didn't realize it was wrong. I was in K-3 when this went on. They were in middle school/high school. I have a 14 year old son, he is super sweet and great with kids. He's great with my 3 1/2 year old DD. But I don't think I'd encourage him to babysit others kids, because of my own issues with this. |
Anonymous
Did you miss the part where she said her husband took over his sister's babysitting jobs when she went to college? We grew up poor and worked out way through school. My brother worked at a child detention facility and in his spare time he babysat for extra money. He had about six families he regularly babysat for. Without those babysitting jobs, and his other child based job (that provided housing) he probably wouldn't have been able to finish school and get his degree. Not only that, but by the time he had his own family he already had a lot of experience, which came in very handy because his wife knew nothing about babies and children. I posted earlier about having, and sharing, a male babysitter. I was molested as a child by a teenage neighbor and I know that these things can happen. I also know that I can't assume everyone is going to try and hurt my child, and that I need to follow my gut. I have one relative that I see once a year, and I won't leave him alone with my children. He hasn't ever done anything to anyone but instinct is setting in. I can try as hard as I can to make sure that nothing is going to happen to my children. I don't want to make them afraid of life in the process. |
Anonymous
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OP: does the kid next door engage with your child when you are all outside? If he seems genuinely interested in her as a person, and you don't get a creepy vibe, go for it.
Your preschool child is old enough to start learning what's OK and what isn't. That no one should touch her privates but her--or a parent if she really needs help wiping after a messy one. If anyone tries to, she should say no firmly and tell you as soon as possible. And she should not keep secrets from you (except birthday presents and surprise parties!), no matter what. Those lessons are what will protect her when you aren't there. You don't have to scare her, but empower her. Men and women both can be vile. Let's not assume that every man or teenaged boy is dangerous. I can't wait for the boys down the street to be old enough to babysit our DD. They have been kind to her since the day she was born; always say hi; will stop their games to play catch with her for a few minutes. |
Anonymous
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Yes, if I thought the boy had the disposition for it.
My DH is 13 & 15 years older than his younger sisters. He had lots of teenage experience with babies and children. He was THE neighborhood babysitter. To this day, he loves kids and is a wonderful father and partner. I'm sure this has to do with his early exposure and responsiblity with young children. I personally think male babysitters are great, it helps break down sterotypes and ridgid gender roles that plague many marriages into misery. |
Anonymous
PP here, my point was that he is the SAME PERSON. Most pedophiles are well on their way to offending behaviors by their teenage years. If he was a pedophile then, he'd be one now. He was just a good natured teenager trying to make a few dollars, and he's a good-natured father and husband now. Thanks to the PP who clarified my point. I know several preteen boys who are wonderful, and would have no problem letting them watch my kids when they are old enough. |
Anonymous
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Yes. We have had a wonderful high school junior babysit for our child. My husband has known the boy since he was a newborn, and has seldom gone one month without seeing him. His parents are incredible people, the boy is an A student at Sidwell and a model brother to his younger siblings, and he works part-time for another friend of ours. There is no way that any girl we simply found in our neighborhood or through a friend would be as rock-solid reliable as this young man, who is also a blast to be with and plays guitar, which kids really enjoy.
I'd probably allow another boy if we knew one/needed one. Most child abuse is perpetrated by family members. Most young people-- male or female-- are good and decent human beings. You can't live your life as if the very rare and sick nightmare on the cover of this week's People Magazine is about to happen. They make headlines because most people don't behave like that. |
Anonymous
I agree. The family member is much more likely to abuse than a stranger. |
Anonymous
There is a huge difference between A family member and YOUR family member. There is also a huge difference between a high school boy and a high school boy you know. In both cases, you have much more information than the statistical probabilities of society at large. 30% of the population believes that space aliens have visited our planet, and yet none of my family or friends believes that. |
Anonymous
| Dad here. I find this thread terribly disturbing. I babysat kids even at the age of 11 and we've had both teenage boy and girl sitters for our son. They're all great kids. A lot of you moms are engaging in some pretty reprehensible gender stereotyping. You'd be appalled if a man made generalizations about girls/women (like, why hire a woman when she's only going to get pregnant and leave at some point...) but many of you are doing just that with respect to boys/men. Pretty appalling. |
Anonymous
Thank you!!! fwiw, I wouldn't let a good majority of these "mothers" babysit my kid. Yikes! |
Anonymous
Not all of us are paraniod misandrists as some of these posters. You sound like my husband who I mentioned earlier. Male babysitters make the BEST partners! And also make for pretty fun babysitters. These same women who are aghast at the thought of a male babysitter are probably the same ones chronically bitching and complaining about how their husbands never help around the house, when they are the ones nourishing sterotypes and outdated gender roles. |
Anonymous
Amen and amen. |
Anonymous
Agreed. |