Chaperone turned school trip into family vacation

[Anonymous]

So it sounds like the parents actually chaperoned and that is the problem.

I am guessing that your DD had friends who were in other groups and the chaperone let the kids go off and do what they wanted all the time and just had the kids text to check in and that the family your DD was with actually had the kids stay with them so they could supervise. I think the babysitting is over exaggerating and didn't happen.

[Anonymous]

Op there is no way they were reading your daughter's texts, come on. You can be annoyed at the situation but if you go in and essentially tell the principal the chaperone forces your child into unpaid labor by babysitting and read her texts you're going to sound nuts. I'm sure your daughter was pissed and I can see why but she's also being really hyperbolic.

[Anonymous]

You said the family stayed in a different hotel room. So how were they reading all of her texts?

[Anonymous]

As far as the babysitting and the trip is concerned, I would report it to the school, because if this person did it once, they'll do it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Were they able to hang out with their own peer group doing things more typical of their age group, or did they need to hang around doing things only younger siblings could d[b]o?

OP. This. (The latter).

I get it now, OP. These teenagers worked to earn this trip and then had to spend the fun part with someone else's younger children, not with their school friends their own age.

I would address it with the school and ask for rules to be created to address this clearly in future trips. You cannot salvage your DD's bad experience after the fact, but you can model for her that when things are badly organized, people can step up to try to make things better for others who come after them.

I've seen teenagers do a lot of work and put in many hours of real effort to go on trips like the one you're describing. For any of them to have to hang around with a family rather than spend the trip with their peer group, after months and months of work, is a complete shame and waste.

I do still want to ask -- did any educational stuff go on? Were the students brought together as a peer group for the core activity, whatever it was (theater festival, marching band event, etc.) and the problem was when the kids were doing "free time" in an amusement park, for instance, and your DD and friend had to stick with this chaperone family?

I have chaperoned several trips to amusement park days held for school orchestras and bands, where there was a playing competition first thing and then the kids were with parent chaperones in the park for the rest of the day. We would never have been allowed to bring our own, other kids. Your school blew it, or maybe that one parent chaperone just flouted the rules that were in place.

At the amusement park venues, the chaperones generally let HS kids go off and do their own thing and then have them check in with their chaperones at designated times/locations throughout the day.

I have never heard of teenagers being so carefully monitored like that by a parent chaperone. I'm surprised that your daughter didn't at least text one of her other friends in that large group to complain about was happening with her chaperone or that a school employee wasn't aware that these kids weren't hanging out with the larger group of kids.

That sounds like a very strange situation and maybe the chaperone didn't understand their role very well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So it sounds like the parents actually chaperoned and that is the problem.

I am guessing that your DD had friends who were in other groups and the chaperone let the kids go off and do what they wanted all the time and just had the kids text to check in and that the family your DD was with actually had the kids stay with them so they could supervise. I think the babysitting is over exaggerating and didn't happen.

It sounds like the chaperone was babysitting these HS students during the day.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m angry for your daughter, too. I think your course of action makes sense. The chaperone policy needs to change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All 7 of them, including the dad were sharing a hotel room? How is that possible?

Two hotel rooms. Family in one. Students in the other.

How does that square with her claim that she couldn't call you or send texts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So it sounds like the parents actually chaperoned and that is the problem.

I am guessing that your DD had friends who were in other groups and the chaperone let the kids go off and do what they wanted all the time and just had the kids text to check in and that the family your DD was with actually had the kids stay with them so they could supervise. I think the babysitting is over exaggerating and didn't happen.

+1. I think the reason she didn't complain is that she didn't realize this until the trip was pretty much over, and saw that the other teens had been let to go around the park on their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So it sounds like the parents actually chaperoned and that is the problem.

I am guessing that your DD had friends who were in other groups and the chaperone let the kids go off and do what they wanted all the time and just had the kids text to check in and that the family your DD was with actually had the kids stay with them so they could supervise. I think the babysitting is over exaggerating and didn't happen.

No. The chaperones did NOT chaperone. They put their family vacation desires first and forced my child and another classmate to tag along with them instead of shadowing the students on what they wanted to do. This was unacceptable and it will be addressed. Already on it now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it sounds like the parents actually chaperoned and that is the problem.

I am guessing that your DD had friends who were in other groups and the chaperone let the kids go off and do what they wanted all the time and just had the kids text to check in and that the family your DD was with actually had the kids stay with them so they could supervise. I think the babysitting is over exaggerating and didn't happen.

No. The chaperones did NOT chaperone. They put their family vacation desires first and forced my child and another classmate to tag along with them instead of shadowing the students on what they wanted to do. This was unacceptable and it will be addressed. Already on it now.

NP. This sounds like a good summary of the situation. The chaperones did not chaperone the girls' trip - they brought along their family including little kids and then put the needs of those little kids above the needs of the older girls whose trip it was supposed to be. Being forced to go on little kids' rides that they weren't interested in and not allowed to do the bigger ones is a good example. I think the school should make it clear in the future that if parent chaperones choose to bring along younger children then there also needs to be another adult who is primarily responsible for those younger children so that the designated chaperone can appropriately chaperone the girls without the younger children's needs or wants affecting the experience for the older kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So it sounds like the parents actually chaperoned and that is the problem.

I am guessing that your DD had friends who were in other groups and the chaperone let the kids go off and do what they wanted all the time and just had the kids text to check in and that the family your DD was with actually had the kids stay with them so they could supervise. I think the babysitting is over exaggerating and didn't happen.

No. The chaperones did NOT chaperone. They put their family vacation desires first and forced my child and another classmate to tag along with them instead of shadowing the students on what they wanted to do. This was unacceptable and it will be addressed. Already on it now.

I'm glad. It sounds like the chaperone decided she was doing the high school kids a favor and felt entitled as a result. Don't let the conspiracy theory harpies ("But were they reading ALL her texts?") tell you otherwise.

[Anonymous]

What did you end up doing, OP?

[Anonymous]

That sounds like a crappy situation and they should make thier chaperone policy clearer and not allow family member tagalongs, imho.

That being said, I've also been on amusement park field trips where some kids in a group want to ride the biggest roller coasters and some kids are terrified, and we have to compromise. Usually the compromise ends up skewing in favor of the most scared because at least the thrillseekers will ride the nonthrilling rides whereas the scaredy cats will not join the thrillseekers. It's part of the experience of traveling in groups with different interests... So chalk that up to life and preferring to travel with family then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That sounds like a crappy situation and they should make thier chaperone policy clearer and not allow family member tagalongs, imho.

That being said, I've also been on amusement park field trips where some kids in a group want to ride the biggest roller coasters and some kids are terrified, and we have to compromise. Usually the compromise ends up skewing in favor of the most scared because at least the thrillseekers will ride the nonthrilling rides whereas the scaredy cats will not join the thrillseekers. It's part of the experience of traveling in groups with different interests... So chalk that up to life and preferring to travel with family then.

In that case,the parent-chaperone should have stayed with the smaller kids while the high school kids, whose hard work had earned the trip for all concerned, took the rides they wanted.