Chaperone turned school trip into family vacation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's terrible. Was there any sign that this was going to happen? You should talk to the school officials in person to write it in their policy to not have families along.

No and DD said she couldn’t even complain to us about it because they were reading her texts, she never had time alone to make a private call to us, etc.

I am sure it wasn’t all bad as we got many happy photos. But there were definitely hints of unhappiness along the way.

The chaperone was reading your child’s texts? Why?

[Anonymous]

You should send the chaperoning family a bill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you have not answered whether or not this is an actual, school sponsored trip.

She did back on page 3. post 17:39.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's terrible. Was there any sign that this was going to happen? You should talk to the school officials in person to write it in their policy to not have families along.

No and DD said she couldn’t even complain to us about it because they were reading her texts, she never had time alone to make a private call to us, etc.

I am sure it wasn’t all bad as we got many happy photos. But there were definitely hints of unhappiness along the way.

hmm i dont buy the reading texts part which would then lead me to think daughter is embellishing the situation in other ways as well. However, it seems completely inappropriate for the rest of the family to tag along on this trip Should just have been parent chaperone and her daughter. If that was going impede family vacation time, the chaperone should not have volunteered.

At this point, i would talk to your daughter about how she could have handled things differently i.e. speak to lead chaperone about being reassigned at least for certain periods of time. then i would also talk to school. If it is not already in the policy about families tagging along, it should be

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should send the chaperoning family a bill.

You’re the first poster who thinks like me. The bill would also discuss penalties for wage theft.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What can the school do? “Fire” the parent? Just tell the school so they know for the future.

OP. This is my question. What can I ask for?

I think I'm going to ask that chaperones not be allowed to bring their entire families. Which is not the same thing as entire families cannot go on the trip, just that they should not be chaperoning kids who are not their own.

Why don't you just talk to the principal about how the chaperone situation took away from your daughter's experience and leave it to the school to work out what to do.

They won't be able to get chaperones if they don't allow families along, but that can have rules that make sure the high school kids get the promised experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is terribly unreasonable... until the babysitter part.

That is, I don't think it's a problem for a school chaperone to bring his/her family on the trip -- especially if his daughter was one of the students. Would you have been allowed to go on the trip if you wanted to? If so, this isn't different. Was he paid substantially extra for his time? If not, then I think it's nice he served as a chaperone at all.

Also, as the adult, whether or not his/her family was there, he was going to get to dictate what they did in any case. Like, if his family wasn't there and he said "no I'm not taking you to X Y Z movie" and/or "we have to be back at the hotel by 8 pm," would that have struck you as unreasonable... or was it just his motive?

All that said, if they actually had to babysit the younger kids at some point... That would be out of line. If you just mean that they were limited in what they could do because of the young children... then I think no big deal.

Fair enough. I think it was also a situation where the students weren't allowed to do things they wanted to do (i.e. rides, etc) because the chaperone prioritized the younger children's preferences.

Or did she just use the younger kids as an excuse? If both parents were there, this doesn't even make sense, since they could have split up. You need to talk to the other girl's mom and the chaperone.

OP here. Yes, exactly. The parents could have split up and one could have taken the teens to do what they wanted to do. But the parents kept the entire family together as a large unit and the two non-family members (students) were forced to tag along and do what the family wanted to do, including rides, etc. that appealed to much younger children. I told DD she should have tried to get reassigned to a different chaperone on at least one of the days, but I don't think she really knew who to ask to make that happen.

And yes, official school-sponsored trip.

So, by "baby-sitting," do you mean that the two non-family teenagers were left ALONE AND IN CHARGE of younger kids, or just that all their vacationing was done in the presence of younger kids, along with the parents?

I think you are focusing on the wrong thing, almost like you think one of those scenarios is acceptable and the other is not. Neither is acceptable.

Uh, nope.

Just trying to make sense of a characterization that does not make sense.

I do hope the teenagers get to have a more age-appropriate trip at some point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All 7 of them, including the dad were sharing a hotel room? How is that possible?

Two hotel rooms. Family in one. Students in the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My money is on the two girls being really, really disappointed that instead of this feeling like a special, adult trip, it felt like they were just children in this family, not that anything truly inappropriate happened.

How is it ever appropriate to bring non-students on a school field trip? If the students knew ahead of time, before signing up and paying, that they would have to take this trip with little children then MAYBE it would be a fair point.

I'd be pissed if I was the student, too. Whether I had to babysit or not, I wouldn't want to pay for a school trip and feel like I'm tagging along on someone else's family vacation.

Is it an actual school field trip if it was just 3 girls and a set of parents with no school employees?

It sounds more like a case where the kids wanted to go to a conference/competition/meet and the school was not going so a parent volunteered to take them.

Like a couple of theater kids wanting to go to the International Thespian Festival, the drama club is not actually attending but Larla's mom offers to fly out with them so they can attend as DCUM High School's unofficial "representatives".

Is it something like that OP?

Because I have never heard of a school trip that does not include a paid staff member attending.

As I have said, 2 plane loads of people went. 100 or so students. Some school staff. Parent chaperones. 5-day trip out of state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you have not answered whether or not this is an actual, school sponsored trip.

I have, in fact, answered this. In detail. Multiple times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's terrible. Was there any sign that this was going to happen? You should talk to the school officials in person to write it in their policy to not have families along.

No and DD said she couldn’t even complain to us about it because they were reading her texts, she never had time alone to make a private call to us, etc.

I am sure it wasn’t all bad as we got many happy photos. But there were definitely hints of unhappiness along the way.

They escorted her to the bathroom, even in public venues?
Geez Louise!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's terrible. Was there any sign that this was going to happen? You should talk to the school officials in person to write it in their policy to not have families along.

No and DD said she couldn’t even complain to us about it because they were reading her texts, she never had time alone to make a private call to us, etc.

I am sure it wasn’t all bad as we got many happy photos. But there were definitely hints of unhappiness along the way.

The chaperone was reading your child’s texts? Why?

Nosy, I guess. It was more looking over kids’ shoulders than confiscating their phones and going through them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All 7 of them, including the dad were sharing a hotel room? How is that possible?

Two hotel rooms. Family in one. Students in the other.

And probably three floors in the hotel with students from the school.

[Anonymous]

My daughter was considering going on an international trip with a local youth choir. I liked the policy - while parents are encouraged to be chaperones, they do not actually supervise their own children. This ensures a more uniform experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is terribly unreasonable... until the babysitter part.

That is, I don't think it's a problem for a school chaperone to bring his/her family on the trip -- especially if his daughter was one of the students. Would you have been allowed to go on the trip if you wanted to? If so, this isn't different. Was he paid substantially extra for his time? If not, then I think it's nice he served as a chaperone at all.

Also, as the adult, whether or not his/her family was there, he was going to get to dictate what they did in any case. Like, if his family wasn't there and he said "no I'm not taking you to X Y Z movie" and/or "we have to be back at the hotel by 8 pm," would that have struck you as unreasonable... or was it just his motive?

All that said, if they actually had to babysit the younger kids at some point... That would be out of line. If you just mean that they were limited in what they could do because of the young children... then I think no big deal.

I think it is. It's usually 1 adult per x number of kids for school sponsored trips. Sure, you're adding in another adult, but you're also adding in younger kids (since OP says they needed babysitting). Needing babysitting implies that ALL the kids were left alone, which is 100% forbidden on all school sponsored trips. Plus, if you're adding a spouse and your own little kids into the mix, you're now no longer paying as much attention to the other three kids you're supposed to be supervising.

I know with our county, the teens can't even be left alone for sleeping. There's always a parent or coach (same sex) in the room with them. I've been a parent chaperone to many away sporting meets that required overnight travel. Usually it's me in the room on a cot/soft bed, my kid, and 3 of her teammates. It's 1 parent per 4 girls or per room.

Our school has the opposite policy. No chaperones allowed in student rooms.

Our school has pretty much the same policy. As a chaperone, I only go in a kids’ room if the kids are all awake and dressed, and the door is open.

Ours has the one adult per room policy. It can also just be one adult if the room is adjoining and the adjoining door is left open at all times. So technically it can be one adult per 6 or 8 kids.

I know this change stems from about 6 or 7 years ago when a bunch of seniors sneaked out during their class trip and got drunk. Back then it was kids in their own rooms and chaperones in their own rooms.

My DD is a cheerleader and it’s a whole process of forms to fill out for when they go to a sleep away competition. I have to give permission that she can room with x , y and z girls and girl y’s mom.

The school system actually took aaay senior trips and overnight field trips after that drunken mess of a trip and didn’t bring them back until 2 years ago.