Chaperone turned school trip into family vacation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was one of the chaperones a teacher or just a parent who volunteered? I think that changes my answer.

If a teacher, then absolutely it needs to be brought to the attention of the principal that the teacher brought their other family members on the trip.

If just a parent volunteer, I don't know if the school has any recourse.

I know when I was in HS and went to Paris over the summer with my French teacher and classmates, she told us how she'd been to Paris 18 times, but only once with her husband before they were married because spouses were not permitted to travel on school trips.

I agree with this post -- OP, please come back and clarify for us so we can better help.

Was this a teacher?

Was the teacher being paid to take this trip? Some teachers work during spring breaks and summers as chaperones/guides for student group tours to various places and get paid for it. If that were the case I'd be calling the company that arranged it or the school office that approved it and asking for our money back. But I'm just not clear how only three students going to a US destination that's a big tourist spot is the same as when my friend who is a HS teacher organizes, leads and is responsible for much larger groups for a week in Italy etc. It would help to understand.

Even if this were a teacher on his or her own time, or a parent who volunteered to take two teens who weren't his or her own -- the use of the non-related kids as babysitters would ALONE be a huge problem for me.

What was promised before the trip? Was there a written itinerary and did the teens achieve all the items on it? Did they get the educational part done, or did that not happen due to the vacation for the family members? Was there any written information about this whole thing? If so, that gives you something to use -- sit down with your teen (and preferably with the parents of the other non-family teen and that teen too )and go through what the trip was supposed to achieve and what actually got done or seen. Could give you a starting point to say this was a sham.

This does sound like a strange arrangement, compared to other things I would refer to as "school trips."

[Anonymous]

My money is on the two girls being really, really disappointed that instead of this feeling like a special, adult trip, it felt like they were just children in this family, not that anything truly inappropriate happened.

[Anonymous]

I'm 16:14 here again. I see that you posted "parent chaperone" if that was you earlier, OP. How is this a school trip if there was a parent chaperone only and no teacher or other school representative? I still think the arrangement itself sounds odd for a "school trip." Can you fill us in?

[Anonymous]

I think you will need to compare it to the experience of other teens on the trip who were with other chaperones. If they were allowed to do xy and z and your daughter's group wasn't because of the younger kids, that is a clear issue related to the other kids being there.

Does the school have a policy?

I would have your daughter wrote an email to the principal about her frustration and cc you on it as a start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My money is on the two girls being really, really disappointed that instead of this feeling like a special, adult trip, it felt like they were just children in this family, not that anything truly inappropriate happened.

Yup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My money is on the two girls being really, really disappointed that instead of this feeling like a special, adult trip, it felt like they were just children in this family, not that anything truly inappropriate happened.

How is it ever appropriate to bring non-students on a school field trip? If the students knew ahead of time, before signing up and paying, that they would have to take this trip with little children then MAYBE it would be a fair point.

I'd be pissed if I was the student, too. Whether I had to babysit or not, I wouldn't want to pay for a school trip and feel like I'm tagging along on someone else's family vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My money is on the two girls being really, really disappointed that instead of this feeling like a special, adult trip, it felt like they were just children in this family, not that anything truly inappropriate happened.

Yup.

Either way, they should not be babysitting this woman's kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My money is on the two girls being really, really disappointed that instead of this feeling like a special, adult trip, it felt like they were just children in this family, not that anything truly inappropriate happened.

How is it ever appropriate to bring non-students on a school field trip? If the students knew ahead of time, before signing up and paying, that they would have to take this trip with little children then MAYBE it would be a fair point.

I'd be pissed if I was the student, too. Whether I had to babysit or not, I wouldn't want to pay for a school trip and feel like I'm tagging along on someone else's family vacation.

Absolutely. I can't believe there is even a question about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is terribly unreasonable... until the babysitter part.

That is, I don't think it's a problem for a school chaperone to bring his/her family on the trip -- especially if his daughter was one of the students. Would you have been allowed to go on the trip if you wanted to? If so, this isn't different. Was he paid substantially extra for his time? If not, then I think it's nice he served as a chaperone at all.

Also, as the adult, whether or not his/her family was there, he was going to get to dictate what they did in any case. Like, if his family wasn't there and he said "no I'm not taking you to X Y Z movie" and/or "we have to be back at the hotel by 8 pm," would that have struck you as unreasonable... or was it just his motive?

All that said, if they actually had to babysit the younger kids at some point... That would be out of line. If you just mean that they were limited in what they could do because of the young children... then I think no big deal.

I think it is. It's usually 1 adult per x number of kids for school sponsored trips. Sure, you're adding in another adult, but you're also adding in younger kids (since OP says they needed babysitting). Needing babysitting implies that ALL the kids were left alone, which is 100% forbidden on all school sponsored trips. Plus, if you're adding a spouse and your own little kids into the mix, you're now no longer paying as much attention to the other three kids you're supposed to be supervising.

I know with our county, the teens can't even be left alone for sleeping. There's always a parent or coach (same sex) in the room with them. I've been a parent chaperone to many away sporting meets that required overnight travel. Usually it's me in the room on a cot/soft bed, my kid, and 3 of her teammates. It's 1 parent per 4 girls or per room.

Our school has the opposite policy. No chaperones allowed in student rooms.

[Anonymous]

This doesn't sound like a school field trip at all frankly. Sounds like a family vacation and two school friends got to go along.

[Anonymous]

Dad should have taken children and teacher should have done her chaperoning job like they were not there.

[Anonymous]

If I'm understanding correctly that this was a volunteer parent chaperone and that one of her own kids was one of the 3 attendees... Then I'm not really sure what there is to complain about unless your daughter was actually made to babysit that parent's younger kids. If she also paid for her own trip herself and/or you would have been allowed to go if you wanted to, then... I'm sorry that the trip wasn't as your DD imagined, but it seems like this is a no brainer in terms of being fine. What would the school even do about it other than cancel future trips that couldn't get teacher chaperones?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is terribly unreasonable... until the babysitter part.

That is, I don't think it's a problem for a school chaperone to bring his/her family on the trip -- especially if his daughter was one of the students. Would you have been allowed to go on the trip if you wanted to? If so, this isn't different. Was he paid substantially extra for his time? If not, then I think it's nice he served as a chaperone at all.

Also, as the adult, whether or not his/her family was there, he was going to get to dictate what they did in any case. Like, if his family wasn't there and he said "no I'm not taking you to X Y Z movie" and/or "we have to be back at the hotel by 8 pm," would that have struck you as unreasonable... or was it just his motive?

All that said, if they actually had to babysit the younger kids at some point... That would be out of line. If you just mean that they were limited in what they could do because of the young children... then I think no big deal.

I think it is. It's usually 1 adult per x number of kids for school sponsored trips. Sure, you're adding in another adult, but you're also adding in younger kids (since OP says they needed babysitting). Needing babysitting implies that ALL the kids were left alone, which is 100% forbidden on all school sponsored trips. Plus, if you're adding a spouse and your own little kids into the mix, you're now no longer paying as much attention to the other three kids you're supposed to be supervising.

I know with our county, the teens can't even be left alone for sleeping. There's always a parent or coach (same sex) in the room with them. I've been a parent chaperone to many away sporting meets that required overnight travel. Usually it's me in the room on a cot/soft bed, my kid, and 3 of her teammates. It's 1 parent per 4 girls or per room.

Our school has the opposite policy. No chaperones allowed in student rooms.

Our school has pretty much the same policy. As a chaperone, I only go in a kids’ room if the kids are all awake and dressed, and the door is open.

[Anonymous]

What can the school do? “Fire” the parent? Just tell the school so they know for the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dad should have taken children and teacher should have done her chaperoning job like they were not there.

It wasn’t a teacher.