What do you think of people who don't have children?

[Anonymous]

I applaud people for not having kids when they know they don't want them. I teach a lot of students whose parents clearly don't want them and it is heartbreaking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly? I think wow, they are very different than me. I always knew I wanted to have kids and I cannot imagine not getting to have this amazing experience, much less not even wanting it. BUT: that thy are very different than me is just fine, the world is made up of all different kinds of people. If they're happy, I'm happy for them

TBH the people that baffle me the most are people who are into their 30s and still "aren't sure" whether they want them or not. That is much harder for me to comprehend

I am 37 and DH is 42 and I still don't know if we going to have children. We might adopt later in life.

Have you done much research into adoption?? I don't think you have a realistic view here, it is unlikely you would be approved

They could temporarily move to another country.

My husband's secretary adopted 2. His company pay for adoption btw

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think - we're different!

FWIW I'm an early thirties divorced mom of two. Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water - even in rural Trump country (where I live) I am younger among the parent set. Most of my friends - ranging in age from 30-40, mostly - don't have kids. They live in huge cities (London, San Francisco, Shanghai) and tend to have big jobs. But I'm not silly enough to assume they don't have troubles because they don't have kids. I adore my friends.

That said, I do get a little annoyed when they say they're tired. There, I said it!

You do realize that taking care of children is not the only thing that can cause a person to be tired, don't you? Other than perhaps for the few months when my third child had horrible colic that caused her to be up crying for 3-4+ hours every single night while her big brother was going through the terrible twos & her big sister needed to be brought to seemingly endless appointments for a newly diagnosed special need, I honestly don't think I have ever been as consistently tired as a parent as I was as a childless grad student taking a full courseload while also working 45-50 hours a week. Other people may be tired due to medical conditions, taking care of elderly &/or ill relatives, unusually demanding jobs, chronic insomnia, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think - we're different!

FWIW I'm an early thirties divorced mom of two. Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water - even in rural Trump country (where I live) I am younger among the parent set. Most of my friends - ranging in age from 30-40, mostly - don't have kids. They live in huge cities (London, San Francisco, Shanghai) and tend to have big jobs. But I'm not silly enough to assume they don't have troubles because they don't have kids. I adore my friends.

That said, I do get a little annoyed when they say they're tired. There, I said it!

You do realize that taking care of children is not the only thing that can cause a person to be tired, don't you? Other than perhaps for the few months when my third child had horrible colic that caused her to be up crying for 3-4+ hours every single night while her big brother was going through the terrible twos & her big sister needed to be brought to seemingly endless appointments for a newly diagnosed special need, I honestly don't think I have ever been as consistently tired as a parent as I was as a childless grad student taking a full courseload while also working 45-50 hours a week. Other people may be tired due to medical conditions, taking care of elderly &/or ill relatives, unusually demanding jobs, chronic insomnia, etc.

Yes I do. I've worked two jobs while going to school. I've never been as tired as I am now, working full time and taking care of two kids under five.

YMMV (obviously)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think - we're different!

FWIW I'm an early thirties divorced mom of two. Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water - even in rural Trump country (where I live) I am younger among the parent set. Most of my friends - ranging in age from 30-40, mostly - don't have kids. They live in huge cities (London, San Francisco, Shanghai) and tend to have big jobs. But I'm not silly enough to assume they don't have troubles because they don't have kids. I adore my friends.

That said, I do get a little annoyed when they say they're tired. There, I said it!

Haha I have two kids and am in my mid 30s and WOH full time, but nothing compares to the tiredness I felt when I was in my 20s and childless and working in Biglaw.

[Anonymous]

As a parent, I do not judge people who do not want or have children. Parenting is a huge responsibility and many want to do something else with their lives. So what? It does not make them a bad person, just as having kids do not make anyone a good person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think - we're different!

FWIW I'm an early thirties divorced mom of two. Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water - even in rural Trump country (where I live) I am younger among the parent set. Most of my friends - ranging in age from 30-40, mostly - don't have kids. They live in huge cities (London, San Francisco, Shanghai) and tend to have big jobs. But I'm not silly enough to assume they don't have troubles because they don't have kids. I adore my friends.

That said, I do get a little annoyed when they say they're tired. There, I said it!

Haha I have two kids and am in my mid 30s and WOH full time, but nothing compares to the tiredness I felt when I was in my 20s and childless and working in Biglaw.

You and other respondent do realize that people are different, right? Also, did you notice that the person to whom you responded is a single parent?

[Anonymous]

That their Sunday’s are waaay more relaxing than mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I assume they are better rested and have more money than me.

I feel sympathy for people who wanted kids and it didn’t happen. As well as people who had kids because “that’s what you do” and didnt want to

+1.

Agree with this. I feel worse for the people who had kids because "it's what you do" because they're usually in way over their heads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think - we're different!

FWIW I'm an early thirties divorced mom of two. Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water - even in rural Trump country (where I live) I am younger among the parent set. Most of my friends - ranging in age from 30-40, mostly - don't have kids. They live in huge cities (London, San Francisco, Shanghai) and tend to have big jobs. But I'm not silly enough to assume they don't have troubles because they don't have kids. I adore my friends.

That said, I do get a little annoyed when they say they're tired. There, I said it!

Haha I have two kids and am in my mid 30s and WOH full time, but nothing compares to the tiredness I felt when I was in my 20s and childless and working in Biglaw.

You and other respondent do realize that people are different, right? Also, did you notice that the person to whom you responded is a single parent?

Yes, that was my point. Not everyone finds parenthood to be the most tiring thing they've ever done. I have two under 3 and a husband who travels for the majority of every week and a FT WOH job. I don't doubt that the original PP is tired and has a lot on her plate, but I find that a lot of people have a knee-jerk reaction to dismiss anyone without kids who claims to be busy or tired. I have never been as tired as I was working 80-100 hour weeks (which was not the norm but did occur with some regularity).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think - we're different!

FWIW I'm an early thirties divorced mom of two. Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water - even in rural Trump country (where I live) I am younger among the parent set. Most of my friends - ranging in age from 30-40, mostly - don't have kids. They live in huge cities (London, San Francisco, Shanghai) and tend to have big jobs. But I'm not silly enough to assume they don't have troubles because they don't have kids. I adore my friends.

That said, I do get a little annoyed when they say they're tired. There, I said it!

You do realize that taking care of children is not the only thing that can cause a person to be tired, don't you? Other than perhaps for the few months when my third child had horrible colic that caused her to be up crying for 3-4+ hours every single night while her big brother was going through the terrible twos & her big sister needed to be brought to seemingly endless appointments for a newly diagnosed special need, I honestly don't think I have ever been as consistently tired as a parent as I was as a childless grad student taking a full courseload while also working 45-50 hours a week. Other people may be tired due to medical conditions, taking care of elderly &/or ill relatives, unusually demanding jobs, chronic insomnia, etc.

Yes I do. I've worked two jobs while going to school. I've never been as tired as I am now, working full time and taking care of two kids under five.

YMMV (obviously)

If you understand that "YMMV", why do you get annoyed when people without children say they are tired?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think - we're different!

FWIW I'm an early thirties divorced mom of two. Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water - even in rural Trump country (where I live) I am younger among the parent set. Most of my friends - ranging in age from 30-40, mostly - don't have kids. They live in huge cities (London, San Francisco, Shanghai) and tend to have big jobs. But I'm not silly enough to assume they don't have troubles because they don't have kids. I adore my friends.

That said, I do get a little annoyed when they say they're tired. There, I said it!

Haha I have two kids and am in my mid 30s and WOH full time, but nothing compares to the tiredness I felt when I was in my 20s and childless and working in Biglaw.

You and other respondent do realize that people are different, right? Also, did you notice that the person to whom you responded is a single parent?

Yes, that was my point. Not everyone finds parenthood to be the most tiring thing they've ever done. I have two under 3 and a husband who travels for the majority of every week and a FT WOH job. I don't doubt that the original PP is tired and has a lot on her plate, but I find that a lot of people have a knee-jerk reaction to dismiss anyone without kids who claims to be busy or tired. I have never been as tired as I was working 80-100 hour weeks (which was not the norm but did occur with some regularity).

^Exactly!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly? I think wow, they are very different than me. I always knew I wanted to have kids and I cannot imagine not getting to have this amazing experience, much less not even wanting it. BUT: that thy are very different than me is just fine, the world is made up of all different kinds of people. If they're happy, I'm happy for them

TBH the people that baffle me the most are people who are into their 30s and still "aren't sure" whether they want them or not. That is much harder for me to comprehend

I am 37 and DH is 42 and I still don't know if we going to have children. We might adopt later in life.

Have you done much research into adoption?? I don't think you have a realistic view here, it is unlikely you would be approved

Depends on if you have a specific race and age in mind to adopt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I applaud people for not having kids when they know they don't want them. I teach a lot of students whose parents clearly don't want them and it is heartbreaking.

Off topic - but how do you know their parents don't want them? Is it bc parents are jetting off places leaving kids to raise themselves -- which is kind of an extreme and I doubt you see that all the time -- or are there other more subtle signs??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly? I think wow, they are very different than me. I always knew I wanted to have kids and I cannot imagine not getting to have this amazing experience, much less not even wanting it. BUT: that thy are very different than me is just fine, the world is made up of all different kinds of people. If they're happy, I'm happy for them

TBH the people that baffle me the most are people who are into their 30s and still "aren't sure" whether they want them or not. That is much harder for me to comprehend

I am 37 and DH is 42 and I still don't know if we going to have children. We might adopt later in life.

Have you done much research into adoption?? I don't think you have a realistic view here, it is unlikely you would be approved

Depends on if you have a specific race and age in mind to adopt.

Yeah, +1. But please don't assume you always have the option of just willy nilly adopting an infant "later in life" when you're already in your 40s. You are in for a rude awakening