What do you think of people who don't have children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I applaud people for not having kids when they know they don't want them. I teach a lot of students whose parents clearly don't want them and it is heartbreaking.

Off topic - but how do you know their parents don't want them? Is it bc parents are jetting off places leaving kids to raise themselves -- which is kind of an extreme and I doubt you see that all the time -- or are there other more subtle signs??

Seriously? "Jetting off"? No, that's not quite it. Teachers see all kinds of neglect and abuse. Even the parents' early interaction with the teacher (if there even is any) can tip us off to how they feel about their kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly? I think wow, they are very different than me. I always knew I wanted to have kids and I cannot imagine not getting to have this amazing experience, much less not even wanting it. BUT: that thy are very different than me is just fine, the world is made up of all different kinds of people. If they're happy, I'm happy for them

TBH the people that baffle me the most are people who are into their 30s and still "aren't sure" whether they want them or not. That is much harder for me to comprehend

I am 37 and DH is 42 and I still don't know if we going to have children. We might adopt later in life.

Have you done much research into adoption?? I don't think you have a realistic view here, it is unlikely you would be approved

Depends on if you have a specific race and age in mind to adopt.

Yeah, +1. But please don't assume you always have the option of just willy nilly adopting an infant "later in life" when you're already in your 40s. You are in for a rude awakening

Well if not then not. We are not desperate to have children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I applaud people for not having kids when they know they don't want them. I teach a lot of students whose parents clearly don't want them and it is heartbreaking.

Off topic - but how do you know their parents don't want them? Is it bc parents are jetting off places leaving kids to raise themselves -- which is kind of an extreme and I doubt you see that all the time -- or are there other more subtle signs??

Seriously? "Jetting off"? No, that's not quite it. Teachers see all kinds of neglect and abuse. Even the parents' early interaction with the teacher (if there even is any) can tip us off to how they feel about their kid.

How much actual neglect and abuse is happening in the upper middle class districts everyone on dcum is always seeking? I imagine at those HHIs, if you don’t want your kids, you have the option of hiring day and night nannies to deal with child rearing and be off vacationing anywhere as a couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think - we're different!

FWIW I'm an early thirties divorced mom of two. Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water - even in rural Trump country (where I live) I am younger among the parent set. Most of my friends - ranging in age from 30-40, mostly - don't have kids. They live in huge cities (London, San Francisco, Shanghai) and tend to have big jobs. But I'm not silly enough to assume they don't have troubles because they don't have kids. I adore my friends.

That said, I do get a little annoyed when they say they're tired. There, I said it!

You do realize that taking care of children is not the only thing that can cause a person to be tired, don't you? Other than perhaps for the few months when my third child had horrible colic that caused her to be up crying for 3-4+ hours every single night while her big brother was going through the terrible twos & her big sister needed to be brought to seemingly endless appointments for a newly diagnosed special need, I honestly don't think I have ever been as consistently tired as a parent as I was as a childless grad student taking a full courseload while also working 45-50 hours a week. Other people may be tired due to medical conditions, taking care of elderly &/or ill relatives, unusually demanding jobs, chronic insomnia, etc.

Yes I do. I've worked two jobs while going to school. I've never been as tired as I am now, working full time and taking care of two kids under five.

YMMV (obviously)

If you understand that "YMMV", why do you get annoyed when people without children say they are tired?

Because they at least occasionally get the opportunity to sleep in.

[Anonymous]

00:16 again (and yes I realize the irony of being up past midnight). I am speaking about MY FRIENDS only. Not Big Law associates with degenerative diseases and elderly relatives they care for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think - we're different!

FWIW I'm an early thirties divorced mom of two. Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water - even in rural Trump country (where I live) I am younger among the parent set. Most of my friends - ranging in age from 30-40, mostly - don't have kids. They live in huge cities (London, San Francisco, Shanghai) and tend to have big jobs. But I'm not silly enough to assume they don't have troubles because they don't have kids. I adore my friends.

That said, I do get a little annoyed when they say they're tired. There, I said it!

You do realize that taking care of children is not the only thing that can cause a person to be tired, don't you? Other than perhaps for the few months when my third child had horrible colic that caused her to be up crying for 3-4+ hours every single night while her big brother was going through the terrible twos & her big sister needed to be brought to seemingly endless appointments for a newly diagnosed special need, I honestly don't think I have ever been as consistently tired as a parent as I was as a childless grad student taking a full courseload while also working 45-50 hours a week. Other people may be tired due to medical conditions, taking care of elderly &/or ill relatives, unusually demanding jobs, chronic insomnia, etc.

Yes I do. I've worked two jobs while going to school. I've never been as tired as I am now, working full time and taking care of two kids under five.

YMMV (obviously)

If you understand that "YMMV", why do you get annoyed when people without children say they are tired?

Because they at least occasionally get the opportunity to sleep in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly? I think wow, they are very different than me. I always knew I wanted to have kids and I cannot imagine not getting to have this amazing experience, much less not even wanting it. BUT: that thy are very different than me is just fine, the world is made up of all different kinds of people. If they're happy, I'm happy for them

TBH the people that baffle me the most are people who are into their 30s and still "aren't sure" whether they want them or not. That is much harder for me to comprehend

I feel like the people who fall into the last category really don’t want kids, but are afraid to stand by that given society’s pressure.

I don’t want kids, never have. I feel that it’s just as selfish to want kids “so you have someone to take care of you in old age.” Why would you saddle a child with that expectation before they are even born? What if the child dies first? That’s just such a f—-ed up line of reasoning to me.

[Anonymous]

I have worked with children for over twenty years. I’ve always wanted children. However, it’s not in the cards for DH and me due to infertility issues.

There are clearly parents out there that never ever should have had children. It breaks my heart to see some of these children. I wonder what I ever did not to be able to and they can. It boggles my mind.

[Anonymous]

I think that , like me, maybe it was their choice. I'm 47 years old, been married for 22 and have no regrets with our decision to not have children. It just wasn't our "thing." We do have ieces and nephews (and even a grand-nephew) whom we adore!

Believe it or not, we are not jet setting off to tropical vacations and sleeping in every day. We are working, doing home renovations, caring for my MIL, and doing "life" just as most other couples do. The fact that we don't have children doesn't make us any less busy. We just fill our life up with other things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think they have a lot more $$$ to spend on themselves

And good news! They love my kid and spend money on her!

[Anonymous]

I have a lot more respect for them than these gross parents that pop out litters of 4 or 5 or even more children thoughtlessly like some sort of mindless animal. Bringing children into this world is a tremendous responsibility that many people don't spend a split second thinking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think they have a lot more $$$ to spend on themselves

And good news! They love my kid and spend money on her!

This is me, LOL. I have a niece and nephew that are twins and 4 years old. They are so fun to shop for. They can be real terrors when they are both in moods, so I am happy they’re not mine full time. So although kids of my own are not on my agenda, I do love them to bits. If anything ever happened to their parents and they needed care, or just need someone to be there for them when they get older, I’ll happily fulfill that role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think - we're different!

FWIW I'm an early thirties divorced mom of two. Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water - even in rural Trump country (where I live) I am younger among the parent set. Most of my friends - ranging in age from 30-40, mostly - don't have kids. They live in huge cities (London, San Francisco, Shanghai) and tend to have big jobs. But I'm not silly enough to assume they don't have troubles because they don't have kids. I adore my friends.

That said, I do get a little annoyed when they say they're tired. There, I said it!

You do realize that taking care of children is not the only thing that can cause a person to be tired, don't you? Other than perhaps for the few months when my third child had horrible colic that caused her to be up crying for 3-4+ hours every single night while her big brother was going through the terrible twos & her big sister needed to be brought to seemingly endless appointments for a newly diagnosed special need, I honestly don't think I have ever been as consistently tired as a parent as I was as a childless grad student taking a full courseload while also working 45-50 hours a week. Other people may be tired due to medical conditions, taking care of elderly &/or ill relatives, unusually demanding jobs, chronic insomnia, etc.

Yes I do. I've worked two jobs while going to school. I've never been as tired as I am now, working full time and taking care of two kids under five.

YMMV (obviously)

If you understand that "YMMV", why do you get annoyed when people without children say they are tired?

Because they at least occasionally get the opportunity to sleep in.

She’s allowed to get annoyed at whomever for whatever reason. Who cares? Lots of people say that they get annoyed at their ‘oh, I’m so TIRED’ coworkers.

I get annoyed at people who try to pick apart others who are sharing idyl thoughts on anonymous web forums.

[Anonymous]

Nothing.

[Anonymous]

I admit that I sometimes wonder why. Especially if they'd make great parents. But I know that there's a chance that it wasn't a choice at all, so I try not to judge. I actually do sort of judge my friends that don't want kids, though I'd never admit it...