18 yr old daughter pregnant

[Anonymous]

It's the money and lack of social services and support, unlike Sweden. You can be bankrupted just by having a baby or trying to pay for insurance. And, there is no paid maternity leave. If there was more support, more young women in the US would be having babies.

Op, I would figure out how the sperm donor / boyfriend fits into this and if he has any money for child support. I did know young women who did keep their baby and raise with financial support that was technically from the father, but it was really the paternal grandparents who ended up paying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 18 year old daughter is she's pregnant.

Any advice? She's in college (NVCC) and I'm concerned it will go to the wayside with all the new responsibility. Health issuance will not cover it, Would we have to pay out of packet?

She works 20 hours a week and earns 8 an hour.

Problem with medicare is government assistant and I always thought it was for the lazy, but accidents happen but I don't want to tell people that the baby might have to be on it..

Your daughter is about to be a teen mom. If anyone is going to think poorly of her THAT will be why, not because she needs Medicare, which the average person wouldn't even know.

This is so American. I just came from Stockholm, and there are tons of moms who are 29-25 with 2-3 kids. They are young, stylish and happy. In America it is almost a crime to have a kid at 18. She is an adult, she is highly capable to raise a child.

Since she doesn't have a job "highly capable" is quite the stretch.
And yes, teen motherhood isn't celebrated in America, which is where the OP lives and where this message board is based. So I feel pretty comfortable being "so American" here in America.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you mean Medicaid. I would really encourage adoption. It would be so much better for the child.

Jeff Bezos and Barack Obama are both children of 18 year old mothers who raised them. Careful about how you generalize. It’s not all like the MTV teen mom show.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kick her off your insurance and make her get insurance through the marketplace.

Also, FIY, your insurance WILL cover her pregnancy. It will NOT cover the baby once it's born. But the baby will automatically qualify for Medicaid.

Also, for those saying "who will know the baby is on Medicaid?" I don't know where you live, but where I live in the suburbs, most doctor's offices have notices that they no longer accept Medicaid. The doctor's that do accept it in my town are few and far between, so if you're going to Dr. Smith on main street, it's because you're on Medicaid, not because he's a fantastic doctor.

Baby does not automatically qualify for medicaid. Mother has to apply and get approved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got married at 18 and had my first child at 19. My H joined the army so he could support us and we would have health insurance. We were successfully married for 25 years.

My sister got pregnant at 20, had the baby and then a few months later married the father. She's been successfully married for 35 years.

Just being 18 is no reason for an abortion or an adoption, although there are some valid reasons for both.

My husband did this with his first wife. His mom was 16 when she had him. Adoption is not as wonderful as people make it out to sound.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 18 year old daughter is she's pregnant.

Any advice? She's in college (NVCC) and I'm concerned it will go to the wayside with all the new responsibility. Health issuance will not cover it, Would we have to pay out of packet?

She works 20 hours a week and earns 8 an hour.

Problem with medicare is government assistant and I always thought it was for the lazy, but accidents happen but I don't want to tell people that the baby might have to be on it..

Your daughter is about to be a teen mom. If anyone is going to think poorly of her THAT will be why, not because she needs Medicare, which the average person wouldn't even know.

This is so American. I just came from Stockholm, and there are tons of moms who are 29-25 with 2-3 kids. They are young, stylish and happy. In America it is almost a crime to have a kid at 18. She is an adult, she is highly capable to raise a child.

Since she doesn't have a job "highly capable" is quite the stretch.
And yes, teen motherhood isn't celebrated in America, which is where the OP lives and where this message board is based. So I feel pretty comfortable being "so American" here in America.

The poster who "just came from Stockholm " is so American in her ignorant sweeping generalizations about a country she knows nothing about, other than a stop on a cruise ship and a quick breeze through Vasa museum..

Im Scandinavian and this is simply not true. The average birth rate in Sweeden is under 2 children and avearge age of first birth is 29. Urban mothers bring this avearge up, with most new mothers in places like Stockholm having their first baby in their 30s. Sweeden CAN supoort young mothers because they do not have the major social problems the US has and it is unusual for abyome to be a teen mom. Abortions are also not taboo. Teen pregnsncy is not celebratedin Sweeden.

However, i suspect with the flood of Islamic immigrants, the birth rate will go up and the maternal age go down. These type of things go hand in hand with education and religious beliefs of which Swedish are highly educated and largly secular, unlike the new arrivals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you mean Medicaid. I would really encourage adoption. It would be so much better for the child.

Jeff Bezos and Barack Obama are both children of 18 year old mothers who raised them. Careful about how you generalize. It’s not all like the MTV teen mom show.

I kind of agree with this. Also she should 100% be able to choose to terminate if she wishes on her own. BUT, that said- while this is far from the ideal scenario, its not entirely unheard of to make this work, especially if the families of the mother have the resources to help get the mother through an education that will pay her bills/give her job security to raise the child on her own sooner rather than later. If the grandparents don't, or come from a place of "whatever, no big deal" and don't care about perpetuating a cycle of teen pregnancies, well, that is I think where things get difficult. The few families I know where this happened did the best they could- one became a nurse, one an accountant (not CPA, more like admin finance for a university) the 3rd a teacher- things with more concrete paths after undergrad and the grandparents (in some cases 2 sets in one case 1 set) helped BIG TIME with child care and childcare expenses so that the moms could stay in school and get their degree in 4-5 years and work part time.

One of these women is my colleague, its weird how her daughter is 20 and my oldest is 4 even though are the same age but she made it work, and also has kids in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op's gonna be a grand mother! woo-hoo. Think of all the parents on dcum who probably won't become grand mothers, given the birth rate trends that are occuring presently.

Here we go again, we get it, you had your children young. Blah, Blah, Blah, let it go...

[Anonymous]

Contact Project Rachel or your local Catholic church. They will help her find the resources and prenatal care she needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you mean Medicaid. I would really encourage adoption. It would be so much better for the child.

Jeff Bezos and Barack Obama are both children of 18 year old mothers who raised them. Careful about how you generalize. It’s not all like the MTV teen mom show.

I kind of agree with this. Also she should 100% be able to choose to terminate if she wishes on her own. BUT, that said- while this is far from the ideal scenario, its not entirely unheard of to make this work, especially if the families of the mother have the resources to help get the mother through an education that will pay her bills/give her job security to raise the child on her own sooner rather than later. If the grandparents don't, or come from a place of "whatever, no big deal" and don't care about perpetuating a cycle of teen pregnancies, well, that is I think where things get difficult. The few families I know where this happened did the best they could- one became a nurse, one an accountant (not CPA, more like admin finance for a university) the 3rd a teacher- things with more concrete paths after undergrad and the grandparents (in some cases 2 sets in one case 1 set) helped BIG TIME with child care and childcare expenses so that the moms could stay in school and get their degree in 4-5 years and work part time.

One of these women is my colleague, its weird how her daughter is 20 and my oldest is 4 even though are the same age but she made it work, and also has kids in middle school.

I agree.

We would not have Barack Obama if his mom was a dcum woman.

And the point about being a grandparent is true. Most of these dcum women might never become grandparents or even see their kids get married.

OK this baby might end up being the best thing that happens to your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is is possible for your daughter to talk with some younger single moms and get the straight dope on what it is like. It will destroy her life and you will end up with the child. Lots of young women try this as a way to make a guy commit to something. Bad idea.

Well, she can talk to me. I got pregnant at 18 and I kept my child. I didn't want to commit to his father at all and he has not been very involved in DS life. DS is 20 now and is amazing. My life was not destroyed and no one raised him but me. I'm very pro-choice but I think everyone should make the choice they want to. Of course it was harder as a young single mom, but it's not impossible. I could not offer my son unlimited material goods, A large house, a 2 parent family even, but I can and do offer him unconditional love.

[Anonymous]

These anecdotes are nice and there are always exceptions, but the statistics are clear: children raised by single mothers go through life at a distinct disadvantage. On average, they have lower grades, get into more trouble, and report lower happiness than kids with two married parents. At every stage of life, their disadvantage is compounded.

If you raised a kid as a single mom and think s/he didn’t suffer a disadvantage, the truth is that you’ll never know. Your kid may be great, but you don’t know how much greater s/he might have been if given the time and resources that come with married parents. But more importantly, for every success story, the stats tell us there are dozens of others that don’t turn out well.

Becoming a single mother at 18 with no college degree is a recipe for disaster. Maybe OP’s daughter will be the exception, but it’s much more likely that OP’s daughter and grandchild will struggle through life and that grandchild will start school behind his/her peers and fall further behind every year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If, for some obscure and little-known insuance rule, the pregnancy isn’t covered, why doesn’t she go get a policy now? Pregnancy is not a pre-existing condition. Obamacare changed the rules on this.

I really don’t understand why this insurance “problem” couldn’t be resolved with a simple google search.

Only ACA plans (and Medicaid and some employer-sponsored) offer maternity coverage for pregnancies that pre-exist the effective coverage date. She missed the signup deadline for Obamacare plans.

All new plans are ACA-compliant plans. ACA is a law, not a plan. Having a baby, or losing current health insurance allows someone to sign up outside the usual enrollment period. Again, this is all easily found via a google search.

https://www.healthcare.gov/glossary/qualifying-life-event/

OP, you really need to check with your insurer. Most plans that didn't have this ACA compliant coverage were grandfathered only for a certain period, which generally has expired. If you haven't checked on this since the beginning of the year, it's worth checking again. Policy details sometimes change when the new policy starts Jan. 1. Also, if she had insurance and maintained continuous coverage, the pregnancy can't be considered "pre-existing" even if she moves to a new policy or the same policy in a new year.

[Anonymous]

Have you explored NVCC-offered health insurance? Many schools offer or mandate health insurance by semester of enrollment. If she enrolls full time, she might have access to her own insurance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:op's gonna be a grand mother! woo-hoo. Think of all the parents on dcum who probably won't become grand mothers, given the birth rate trends that are occuring presently.

Here we go again, we get it, you had your children young. Blah, Blah, Blah, let it go...

+1
Right, so what not everyone becomes a grandparent? People who are secure in their choices don't act this way.