Why does everyone have their kids two years apart?

Anonymous
Most of my friends who have kids every 2 years or so have a SAHM. Our friends who have 2 working parents tend to have larger age gaps. Personally, my brother is 21 years older than me (my mom swears I was planned...but I'm not so sure about that, lol), and my sons are 4 years apart. I had my first when I was 36. Reasons that come to mind are maybe when the 1st kid is around 2, you finally start having more sex again and things start to get easier, breastfeeding, wanting kids close in age so they play better together, having kids in fast succession so you can SAH with them, then return to the workforce when they start school, or if you want lots of kids (my niece has 6, so she had one every 2 years or less once she got married. Her goal was 12 kids, but her husband got sick with ALS, so she stopped at 6).
Anonymous
Because they start trying when the baby is 1.


Also, they are insane.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not sure. My kids are 4 years apart, though. The bigger age gap is awesome for us. I've gotten to really enjoy/focus on each one''s babyhood, and when I get babied-out with the little one, I can spend big-kid time with the big one.

I had the first at 33 and second at 37, so I had age somewhat on my side...I didn't feel desperate to have the second. Also, I wasn't sure I wanted a second for a long time...not until after the first turned 3.


I would have felt so old having my first kid at 33.


Is your peer group fairly uneducated? Not one of my friends had a baby before 30 due to advanced degrees and careers.


+1.


I have a law degree and am a practicing lawyer. Ivy-educated. First kid at 29, third (and last) at 33. Sorry to disappoint.


DH and I both went to Stanford, I had my kids at 29 and 31 and you sound like a godawful insufferable smug b*tch.
Anonymous
Ugh. How do these threads always result in women attacking other women for their choices? Good lord I would have *loved* to have had my first baby at 33 or younger! Thanks to infertility I got one at 36 and probably won't get any more, but I'm just incredibly grateful for the one I have.

Let's support one another. *screams into the void*
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not sure. My kids are 4 years apart, though. The bigger age gap is awesome for us. I've gotten to really enjoy/focus on each one''s babyhood, and when I get babied-out with the little one, I can spend big-kid time with the big one.

I had the first at 33 and second at 37, so I had age somewhat on my side...I didn't feel desperate to have the second. Also, I wasn't sure I wanted a second for a long time...not until after the first turned 3.


I would have felt so old having my first kid at 33.


Is your peer group fairly uneducated? Not one of my friends had a baby before 30 due to advanced degrees and careers.


+1.


I have a law degree and am a practicing lawyer. Ivy-educated. First kid at 29, third (and last) at 33. Sorry to disappoint.




DH and I both went to Stanford, I had my kids at 29 and 31 and you sound like a godawful insufferable smug b*tch.


If that PP is insufferable then by your logic so are so are you.
Anonymous
+1.

Not sure what motivates people to call other moms old in a thread about spacing. TBH, I felt old when I had my first at 33, but now that he is sleeping through the night and I got my body back a bit, I felt young again!
Anonymous
It took us three years to have our first. I decided during all that that the "perfect time to have children" doesn't exist for us. So that threw any notion of "perfect spacing" out the window because I wasn't foolish enough to think I had control over that.

Not knowing how long it'd take we stopped preventing before our first turned a year old. I figured I'd much rather have two children, a bit closer together than I wanted, than risk not ever having a second at all. #2 was born when #1 was 26 months old. I mostly feel lucky our second didn't take years to conceive so we could skip all that stress.

Everything else is details.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Ugh. How do these threads always result in women attacking other women for their choices? Good lord I would have *loved* to have had my first baby at 33 or younger! Thanks to infertility I got one at 36 and probably won't get any more, but I'm just incredibly grateful for the one I have.

Let's support one another. *screams into the void*


Voice of reason!
Anonymous
Holy hell. Now we're saying 33 is old to have a first child?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not sure. My kids are 4 years apart, though. The bigger age gap is awesome for us. I've gotten to really enjoy/focus on each one''s babyhood, and when I get babied-out with the little one, I can spend big-kid time with the big one.

I had the first at 33 and second at 37, so I had age somewhat on my side...I didn't feel desperate to have the second. Also, I wasn't sure I wanted a second for a long time...not until after the first turned 3.


I would have felt so old having my first kid at 33.


Is your peer group fairly uneducated? Not one of my friends had a baby before 30 due to advanced degrees and careers.


+1.


I have a law degree and am a practicing lawyer. Ivy-educated. First kid at 29, third (and last) at 33. Sorry to disappoint.


Being so well educated, seems like you would have known it's not healthy to have kids so close together.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:+1.

Not sure what motivates people to call other moms old in a thread about spacing. TBH, I felt old when I had my first at 33, but now that he is sleeping through the night and I got my body back a bit, I felt young again!


Sheesh no one called anyone old. A pp said she would feel old having her first baby at 33.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not sure. My kids are 4 years apart, though. The bigger age gap is awesome for us. I've gotten to really enjoy/focus on each one''s babyhood, and when I get babied-out with the little one, I can spend big-kid time with the big one.

I had the first at 33 and second at 37, so I had age somewhat on my side...I didn't feel desperate to have the second. Also, I wasn't sure I wanted a second for a long time...not until after the first turned 3.


I would have felt so old having my first kid at 33.


Is your peer group fairly uneducated? Not one of my friends had a baby before 30 due to advanced degrees and careers.


+1.


I have a law degree and am a practicing lawyer. Ivy-educated. First kid at 29, third (and last) at 33. Sorry to disappoint.


Being so well educated, seems like you would have known it's not healthy to have kids so close together.


Sounds like they were all two years apart. Isn't that what WHO recommends?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:1 year is too soon, 3 years is too long.

This
And I also refuse to have my kids be anything where there is a .5. For example, I wouldn't be cool with a 1.5. 2.5 etc age gap.
I like when birthdays are around the same time.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not sure. My kids are 4 years apart, though. The bigger age gap is awesome for us. I've gotten to really enjoy/focus on each one''s babyhood, and when I get babied-out with the little one, I can spend big-kid time with the big one.

I had the first at 33 and second at 37, so I had age somewhat on my side...I didn't feel desperate to have the second. Also, I wasn't sure I wanted a second for a long time...not until after the first turned 3.


I would have felt so old having my first kid at 33.


Is your peer group fairly uneducated? Not one of my friends had a baby before 30 due to advanced degrees and careers.


+1.


I have a law degree and am a practicing lawyer. Ivy-educated. First kid at 29, third (and last) at 33. Sorry to disappoint.


Being so well educated, seems like you would have known it's not healthy to have kids so close together.


Sounds like they were all two years apart. Isn't that what WHO recommends?


Nope. The recommendation is to wait two year after the birth of a child to begin trying for another pregnancy. So even if you were to get pregnant right away, the kids would be close to three years apart.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:1 year is too soon, 3 years is too long.

This
And I also refuse to have my kids be anything where there is a .5. For example, I wouldn't be cool with a 1.5. 2.5 etc age gap.
I like when birthdays are around the same time.


That is bizarre.
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