To working moms: If you DH made enough money, would you still work?

[Anonymous]

No, it isn't productive to argue about whether being a SAHM is hard. Most people agree that it can be a challenging situation.

That's why it's ridiculous to write that "it's the hardest job in the world." Because it's neither productive, nor entirely true.

No one would post that "my (something in the paid work force) job is the hardest and most important in the world!" Probably even if they were a firefighter.

This is a distinction reserved solely for staying at home, and here's what it means:

From a poster who is not a SAHM, it is shorthand for "I did not choose this route but please please please no one think that whatever I'm about to say is any criticism of people who choose SAHM and how hard it is."

From a poster who is an SAHM, it is shorthand for "don't show me disrespect because I chose this route. I have an education and I'm not lazy and I don't eat bonbons all day."

So how about we ditch "it's the hardest and most important job in the world" and replace it with "I respect SAHMs and the job that they do" or "As an SAHM I work hard and do an important job?"

More honest at least.

[Anonymous]

There is nobody in this world who is fit for raising my kids better than me

That's why I'm raising my kids - even though I work and have a nanny look after them during the day.

[Anonymous]

What she said. You go, girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, it isn't productive to argue about whether being a SAHM is hard. Most people agree that it can be a challenging situation.

That's why it's ridiculous to write that "it's the hardest job in the world." Because it's neither productive, nor entirely true.

No one would post that "my (something in the paid work force) job is the hardest and most important in the world!" Probably even if they were a firefighter.

This is a distinction reserved solely for staying at home, and here's what it means:

From a poster who is not a SAHM, it is shorthand for "I did not choose this route but please please please no one think that whatever I'm about to say is any criticism of people who choose SAHM and how hard it is."

From a poster who is an SAHM, it is shorthand for "don't show me disrespect because I chose this route. I have an education and I'm not lazy and I don't eat bonbons all day."

So how about we ditch "it's the hardest and most important job in the world" and replace it with "I respect SAHMs and the job that they do" or "As an SAHM I work hard and do an important job?"

More honest at least.

I think it means something else too- it actually is really hard to be on call to small children 24/7 and I think that some people who haven't experienced what that feels like might think that it's not that bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So how about we ditch "it's the hardest and most important job in the world" and replace it with "I respect SAHMs and the job that they do" or "As an SAHM I work hard and do an important job?"

Totally agree.

[Anonymous]

No, because I work PT and make 100k/yr. I have the perfect balance between earning my own money and having a connection to the professional community. I could SAH and I did for a year and a half, but I love working PT and having one foot in and one foot out. The common denominator between both my SAHM friends and my FTWM friends is that they ALL complain a ton. The SAHMs complain about their husbands and kids and the WMs complain about the grind. Both sets of moms seem to not be fully happy with the exception of a few.

[Anonymous]

I just quit my FT job because it no longer interests me, we can afford it, and I want to spend more time with DS. I will be a SAHM for my two year old for a while and see how it goes - if I decide it is not the right fit then I will look around and hope to find a flexible PT job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So how about we ditch "it's the hardest and most important job in the world" and replace it with "I respect SAHMs and the job that they do" or "As an SAHM I work hard and do an important job?"

Totally agree.

Agreed too. It is definitly not the most important job in the world. Anyone can do it, even a caveman can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So how about we ditch "it's the hardest and most important job in the world" and replace it with "I respect SAHMs and the job that they do" or "As an SAHM I work hard and do an important job?"

Totally agree.

Agreed too. It is definitly not the most important job in the world. Anyone can do it, even a caveman can.

Well, I wouldn't go that far. I just think it's a cliche saying and it always sounds sooooo condescending to me. "Oh you stay at home? Toughest, most important job in the world."

Plus, let's face it, as someone on the thread already pointed out, there are some SAHMs around here whose husbands make $4-500K or more, can afford some part time regular help, a housekeeper, and get to run to the gym and have manicures. Sorry, not the most important job in the world. And there is nothing wrong with that. Not saying I wouldn't do that, but I think even some of them would admit it's not all that bad.

For me, if we were ridiculously loaded, and I mean a steady source of income approaching a million a year plus great investments as I am also extremely cautious about money and security, then it would be hard to justify working I guess, even though I love my job and it's flexible, and I have good hours. But I am a long term thinker and I can't relax if I don't have the next step planned. I was 32 when I had my first and if all goes well we will have another and have them grown and gone by the time I'm around 52, which is a lot of years left to fill if I wanted to take some years off and try to get back in the workforce, and found I couldn't. I just think I am one of those people who would feel kind of out of sorts if I wasn't in my career or tried to take a significant chunk of time off.

Luckily for us, we really do depend on my income so I don't have to wrestle with these philosophical questions!!!

[Anonymous]

Raising kids really certainly one, at least, of the most important jobs in the world. But once they're in school it's possible to work at least PT. What's really hard is combing a FT or even PT job with this incredibly important role of raising kids.

That said, I'd definitely quit and start writing that novel that I'm trying to work on over the weekends. It's not that I wouldn't do any paid work, but I'd do something very different that had a lot more flexibility. Just not so sure it can help pay the mortgage, which is why a sudden windfall for DH would be so helpful.

[Anonymous]

combining, not combing. Duh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So how about we ditch "it's the hardest and most important job in the world" and replace it with "I respect SAHMs and the job that they do" or "As an SAHM I work hard and do an important job?"

Totally agree.

Agreed too. It is definitly not the most important job in the world. Anyone can do it, even a caveman can.

Well, I wouldn't go that far. I just think it's a cliche saying and it always sounds sooooo condescending to me. "Oh you stay at home? Toughest, most important job in the world."

Plus, let's face it, as someone on the thread already pointed out, there are some SAHMs around here whose husbands make $4-500K or more, can afford some part time regular help, a housekeeper, and get to run to the gym and have manicures. Sorry, not the most important job in the world. And there is nothing wrong with that. Not saying I wouldn't do that, but I think even some of them would admit it's not all that bad.

For me, if we were ridiculously loaded, and I mean a steady source of income approaching a million a year plus great investments as I am also extremely cautious about money and security, then it would be hard to justify working I guess, even though I love my job and it's flexible, and I have good hours. But I am a long term thinker and I can't relax if I don't have the next step planned. I was 32 when I had my first and if all goes well we will have another and have them grown and gone by the time I'm around 52, which is a lot of years left to fill if I wanted to take some years off and try to get back in the workforce, and found I couldn't. I just think I am one of those people who would feel kind of out of sorts if I wasn't in my career or tried to take a significant chunk of time off.

Luckily for us, we really do depend on my income so I don't have to wrestle with these philosophical questions!!!

Oh it is also not the toughest job in the world either. I SAH for almost 2 years and returned to work. Working for me is harder in a much differnt way. With kids, the excuse for their bad behavior is their age. When I deal with adult brats at work, there is no excuse for their behavior. When I see my kids after work, it is a relief. When I SAH, yes it got tedious and mundane and that part was hard, but the actual job function was quite easy. Puzzles, snacks, naps, time outs, parks, TV, crafts......sure is alot easier than wrestling with 100 emails a day all needing something yesterday. When I SAH I joked with my DH that I was going to see if I could join the AARP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Raising kids really certainly one, at least, of the most important jobs in the world. But once they're in school it's possible to work at least PT. What's really hard is combing a FT or even PT job with this incredibly important role of raising kids.

That said, I'd definitely quit and start writing that novel that I'm trying to work on over the weekends. It's not that I wouldn't do any paid work, but I'd do something very different that had a lot more flexibility. Just not so sure it can help pay the mortgage, which is why a sudden windfall for DH would be so helpful.

Yeah, but since WMs raise their kids too, it's a silly phrase to use, to think SAHMs are the only ones in that terrain. Which you mention in your next line - about how combining kids and work is tough too! Both situations are tough and important, but that phrase is just off-putting to me, and as mentioned earlier, slightly condescending.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't make enough money but I will not return to work until my last is in Kindergarten. Time is going by quickly

[Anonymous]

Hell no. Can't understand why anyone would want to. But I've had really bad job experiences, so I am probably not representative.