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To working moms: If you DH made enough money, would you still work?
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Anonymous
What she said! |
Anonymous
| I'd work part-time, or maybe a less stressful, strictly 9-5 or 8-4 job, but yes, I'd still work. |
Anonymous
I completely agree with this statement, and think the sacrifices WMs make are too often not acknowledged. |
Anonymous
In this fantasy, does DH make enough to pay for a housecleaner, lawnservice and babysitter (I mean come on, I'll need time to get my nails done if I have a rich husband).
OK, honestly. There are days I'd say yes and days I'd say no. When my son was 6 months, I would have said yes in a heartbeat. |
Anonymous
| Defintely ...prefer part-time and/or volunteer work. For me, it is about identity and using my abilities. Motherhood is just one aspect. |
Anonymous
very interesting perspective -- thanks for sharing! |
Anonymous
| In a heartbeat. |
Anonymous
| Meant to say I would QUIT in a heartbeat. |
Anonymous
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It's great to see people challenging the tired old "SAHM is the hardest job in the world" statement!
I have done both SAHM and WOHM and I personally don't understand how SAHM is the hardest job in the world. I took long maternity leaves when I had each of my kids and then returned to work part-time. After the 2nd baby, I was home with an infant and a 14-month old for 6 months. That was very difficult and I spent a great deal of those 6 months unshowered, sleep-deprived, and still in my pajamas by early afternoon, but it still wasn't as hard as my prior engagement before kids, working 60hrs/wk under constant stress in a big law firm! With the third baby, I stayed home for just over a year, with a newborn, a 3-yr old, and a 4-yr old. I loved it! Some days were hard, but overall it was a joy and we had so much fun together. I would NEVER have described it as the hardest job in the world. Yes, I wanted my husband to appreciate my (unpaid) contribution to our family, but I didn't demand that he acknowledge that my job was just as hard or harder than his. We live in the suburbs and most of my friends now are SAHMs. Our kids are elementary school age now, and believe me, these SAHMs do NOT have the hardest job in the world! I know, because I'm one of them on the 2 weekdays I don't work. When your kids are in school from 8-3, there is plenty of time to get errands done, have lunch with friends, go shopping, get your hair or nails done, etc. I have been back at work, part-time, for four years. We don't really need the extra money. I'm not crazy about the job, but I don't work terribly hard, my job is secure, and I'm very well compensated in salary & benefits, so I have stayed on part-time. I would never do it full-time and be away from my kids that much. I don't socialize much at work so I wouldn't say I'm doing it for the camaraderie or adult interaction. It's more that the pay & benefits are too hard to walk away from given that the stress/demands of the job are so manageable. |
Anonymous
| Yes, I'd still work, though I think I would cut my hours even more, to 20-24 hours a week. |
Anonymous
| Yes, definitely. i would NEVER give up my financial independence. sometimes bad things happen -- divorce, death, etc. I want to always be able to take care of myself. I will teach my DD the same. |
Anonymous
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I think these discussions of what's harder-- working outside the home or staying home with your children-- are just pointless in their generalizations. It obviously depends on the job and on the family/individuals in the family, and there's no way to compare apples to apples and oranges to oranges.
Lots of things can make a job (including staying home) harder or easier: hours, commute, pay, social recognition, ego satisfaction, camaraderie, intellectual challenge/boredom, physical danger or difficulty, emotional challenge, logistical challenge, opportunity for advancement or new challenges, variety of tasks, sense of completion or accomplishment, cooperation/contribution of other family members, economic security, job security, and a million others. Mix that with the temperament of the mother, the temperament of the children, the boss and coworkers, the quality of the marriage, the quality of the neighborhood, the help of extended family. . . You get the point. Can we just stop now? The only valid comparison any mother should make is between actual choices IN HER OWN LIFE. (This doesn't preclude fantasies about living a different life, but in that case I'd like to be a rich philanthropist.  )
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Anonymous
| to me, the biggest stress at work is that i can be fired or sued. less likely at home. professional rejection happens a lot more than personal. i always have to be showered and perfect at work. not so at home. |
Anonymous
| I am a SAHM and although I certainly dont think it is rocket science to be one nor is it the "hardest" job in the world, but it is physically exhausting being around 2 unpredictable toddlers all day. I prefer to stay at home bc I see how short fused I get sometimes and would hate for someone else who is not related to them take their frustration with them out on them - at least I know I can control my self no matter how hard it gets (Yes, there are wonderful nannies out there and caregivers that can as well, but you always take that gamble in hiring one and knowing what is going on). I cant wait for them to be in school so I can get some chiropractor work done to my body. |
Anonymous
| Yes, I would still work. My job involves lots of stress and long hours. But it is also incredibly rewarding, and I cannot imagine giving it up. |