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To working moms: If you DH made enough money, would you still work?
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Anonymous
| No, but my definition of "enough money" might be different from other's. DH makes enough to pay our bills, save for retirement and college and provide a comfortable lifestyle, but not enough for private schools, the types of vacations I want to take and other extras. If his salary were to double, I'd quit working in a second. |
Anonymous
Totally agree. SAH is no picnic (well, unless it's picnic-at-the-park day), but I'd rather be doing that than most other jobs. It also seems like it would get easier as the kids get older and you get your routine down. Yes you might lose some adult-interaction time, but unless your paying job is interviewing famous writers, you're not missing too much. My kids are a lot more interesting to talk to than most of my co-workers. |
Anonymous
| Yes, though I would technically love to be a SAHM, and have more time to clean, teach my DS little things etc., I really don't think I would find it boring or more stressful than working. However, I feel I owe it to my children to show that you don't need to sacrifice career for family. That being said, I don't just have a job. I have a full-fledged career with my name in the 'community' and I've worked really hard through school and job to get there. Its not really just about the money. We could move and make do elsewhere. DH's job is flexible enough. Its stressful yes, but I feel the rewards outweigh the work. and I feel I do something that DC can be proud of me for. |
Anonymous
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Hello 10:31,
I wholeheartedly disagree that SAHM is the biggest sacrifice. Did you actually read the list of occupations posted by 10:27. Sacrifice is putting your life on the line or holding another's life in your hands, i.e, the firefighter, police officer, military personnel. As a SAHM you don't have to give up your freedom and adult interaction. Heck, many of the SAHM moms on this forum participate in adult play dates and lunch dates with other SAHM to get their adult satisfaction. To answer the OP's question. No way would I stay at home. BTDT, it was not the hardest job in the world. And, believe me it definitely was not the biggest sacrifice I have made in my life. |
Anonymous
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I have a stressful job hat has long hours. Sixty five hours weeks, I hate it.
I would quit in a heartbeat. Although, the relief of knowing that I didn't have to work would be satisfying too, but I would still quit. |
Anonymous
| I am working even tho DH makes a ton of money. I like my job, which is stressful but very rewarding. I also like getting dressed up and going to work, and feeling useful. Yes, I miss the kids, but I don't think I can do all children all the time. It's just too hard!! |
Anonymous
10:31 here. You're probably right. Maybe it was a stretch to say biggest sacrifice. I've never been a SAHM so I can't really say, but my point was more to take focus away from the "hardest" job lable. I just know, for me, I would have a tougher time giving up what I have now with my job/career than taking on the tasks of being at home. |
zumbamama
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| I would continue to work PT, but probably cut down my hours if DH made more. I like both working and SAH. |
Anonymous
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That's partly why I stopped working, because we could afford it. But we did sacrifice things, like vacation and extra $. But really, it was no sacrifice because I don't miss those things. I love my kids.
And yes, it is a sacrifice to stay at home, but it is also fulfilling and I know my kids so much better now that I stay at home. |
Anonymous
I'm really glad to see your post as well. I think people have gotten so used to hearing and saying 'it's the hardest job in the world' that they've lost a bit of perspective. It isn't easy and not everyone can do it happily, but it definitely isn't the hardest job in the world. I'd be curious to know if this is more of a US way of thinking. |
Anonymous
| Husband makes enough but I still work part-time. I love it. I can drop off and pick up my kids at school. |
Anonymous
| I currently work for the money - long hours, don't love my job. If dh made enough, I'd work at a job I loved part time. |
Anonymous
| Yes, but part-time and not at this job - I would switch to something more fun and creative. |
Anonymous
| I don't have to work (actually, we're barely breaking even with me working) but I do work PT for my sanity. I'm a better, more patient mom after being away from my extremely active, frequently exhausting kids. Plus, our nanny is like family to us and I really believe in the "it takes a village" mentality. |
Anonymous
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Yes, I would still work. I like my job and was able to cut back after having a child so I work 4 days a week. I would like it more if I could telecommute one day a week but I think I will be able to in the next year or so.
I understand that some SAHMs sacrifice, but WMs do too. Trust me, when you have been up all night with a baby and are fighting to stay awake on the Metro the next morning, with the whole day ahead of you, you are sacrificing. Being a mom in general is a sacrifice, but I knew that going into it so I'm fine with it. I have always enjoyed being a working mom. It is a balance and it's not always easy, and I certainly wouldn't romanticize it but I enjoy it. I disagree with the poster who thinks that unless you are interviewing famous writers you are not missing much in terms of adult interaction. I work with (some) smart people and I learn a lot every year - the adult interaction works for me, as does the quiet time in my office working through something or trying to craft something people will respond to. And I do love the morning coffee while surfing the internet for a few minutes before starting my day, something I rarely get on my stay at home day with my toddler! |