Husband is not interested in being an uncle ... ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not too into non blood family members either. He is literally not related to her-why would he care?

She's a baby. She's young and cute. He's a human being. Presumably.

Refusal to have anything with a baby your wife obviously cares about is weird. Not paying for the onesie? Come on. I can't believe people are saying it's normal. I must be from another planet or some shit. Call me a hag, but I can't imagine tolerating fussing at the cash register, because DH doesn't want to pay for something. Asshole.

It's probably not about paying for the 5 dollar onsie. It's probably the idea that the guys wife just puts shit up on the register when he is trying to check out and just expects him to pay or it. It's an entitled attitude. This DW expects her husband to feel the way she feels, want the things she wants, and pay for the things she wants, and when he doesn't do it, she thinks he doesn't have the RIGHT to feel a certain way.

She sees her family 2-3 times a week, and he goes with her once a week - she said he seems to enjoy himself - but doesn't get as excited as she does and that embarrasses her - which is total bullshit. How many posts on DCUM about people who hate their ILs - this guy goes to see them once a week, enjoys himself, but she is pissed because he doesn't seem to be as excited as she is - OF COURSE HE ISN'T - it's not his family - but at least he is putting in the effort.

DW seems like a nightmare to be with, with her insane expectations and her selfish, entitled attitude. DH isn't complaining about buying a onsie, he is sick and tired of his crazy wife.

+100

[Anonymous]

Threads like this are the bread and butter of this board, it allows people to project ALL THEIR SHIT on the scenario when really, they have no idea of what the people in it are thinking IRL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could be totally wrong but I wonder if OP had been pressuring DH for a baby, DH is not ready for a baby, DH doesn't want to give OP the wrong idea by appearing at all interested in any babies.

I'm wondering if this is the case too. DH may be pushing back from appearing interested at all, because OP is so over the top with her intense focus and emotional investment. Maybe he is pushing back a bit in reaction to her. If he shows more interest, she might push for more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Does he have any right to be upset when I ask him to buy things for my niece? When we were shopping the other day, he was shopping for himself and while he was at the register I added two more items for her. He got mad at me afterwards. The same thing happened last week while we were at the grocery store. I felt a little attacked.

My DH gets upset with me when I buy crap for our own kids that they don't need. My baby has approx 25 onesies already. We don't need another. If I were to buy unnecessary crap for another baby (other than birthday present type stuff), he would be upset as well.

Your husband probably feels the same way. Why must you buy a onesie your niece likely doesn't need?

[Anonymous]

OP, divorce your husband and then you can see your family 7 days a week ! That could be a many years long vacation in fantasy land for you.

Or you could get a puppy. They are cute, too.

You do seem overly involved with your family as a married person. Also you need to realize your infant niece is not your child and not a fill in until you have a child of your own. Your husband must be a very nice person to put up with the bstsh!tcrazy.

[Anonymous]

I wonder how OP's sister and BIL (or brother and SIL?) feels about her intensity over their daughter. I wonder if they will start to put up boundaries there too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you're paycheck to paycheck, not sure wh6 he'd be bitching about you getting outfits for your niece. I'd never let dh get away with that bs. I have 3 nephews and buy what I want for them.

Not to mention it's both their money as in "married". I agree, he sounds like a A hole because it was a onesie which costs like nothing, lol! It's like adding a pack of gum or something...now that's the bigger picture here imo.

I get it's her family so that's not a big deal.

Maybe he is just pissed because, even when he and his wife are out running errands for their family, she repeatedly just needs to focus on her niece. I would be irritated too if my husband spent this much time with his family, expected me to do the same with a smile, and then also let it seep into our time together in this way. It is just another way of the wife showing that her niece is always on her mind, and perhaps your husband is reacting to that.

[Anonymous]

OP,

Your behavior is slightly out of the norm. Your husband's is not. People aren't that interested in children who are not their own, even if they wish them well.

Don't be stupid, and use a little psychology. Back off. Your husband will then appear a little more interested in babies. At this rate, you're never going to persuade him to have his own kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not too into non blood family members either. He is literally not related to her-why would he care?

She's a baby. She's young and cute. He's a human being. Presumably.

Refusal to have anything with a baby your wife obviously cares about is weird. Not paying for the onesie? Come on. I can't believe people are saying it's normal. I must be from another planet or some shit. Call me a hag, but I can't imagine tolerating fussing at the cash register, because DH doesn't want to pay for something. Asshole.

It's probably not about paying for the 5 dollar onsie. It's probably the idea that the guys wife just puts shit up on the register when he is trying to check out and just expects him to pay or it. It's an entitled attitude. This DW expects her husband to feel the way she feels, want the things she wants, and pay for the things she wants, and when he doesn't do it, she thinks he doesn't have the RIGHT to feel a certain way.

She sees her family 2-3 times a week, and he goes with her once a week - she said he seems to enjoy himself - but doesn't get as excited as she does and that embarrasses her - which is total bullshit. How many posts on DCUM about people who hate their ILs - this guy goes to see them once a week, enjoys himself, but she is pissed because he doesn't seem to be as excited as she is - OF COURSE HE ISN'T - it's not his family - but at least he is putting in the effort.

DW seems like a nightmare to be with, with her insane expectations and her selfish, entitled attitude. DH isn't complaining about buying a onsie, he is sick and tired of his crazy wife.

+100

Agreed. I'm a woman who loves ALL babies, but I would react just like OP's husband in this scenario.

[Anonymous]

You see your family 2-3 times a week? Why so often? Your husband sees them WEEKLY? That is a sh*t ton of time with inlaws. I feel bad for your husband. Plus guys who haven't been parents don't have the instinct to fawn over babies as women do. Even plenty of single women don't fawn over their nieces, nephews either. You can't change him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Does he have any right to be upset when I ask him to buy things for my niece? When we were shopping the other day, he was shopping for himself and while he was at the register I added two more items for her. He got mad at me afterwards. The same thing happened last week while we were at the grocery store. I felt a little attacked.

Of course he has the right to get upset! It's not just paying the extra ten bucks. It's you pushing what you value on to him and being controlling, expecting the unreasonable. Btw I'm a DW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Does he have any right to be upset when I ask him to buy things for my niece? When we were shopping the other day, he was shopping for himself and while he was at the register I added two more items for her. He got mad at me afterwards. The same thing happened last week while we were at the grocery store. I felt a little attacked.

Is this real? You feel attacked because he doesn't want to spend his money on your niece? Use your own money! You sound like an immature, selfish twit. Hopefully DH divorces you.

+1

I would also have been pissed that you ambushed me at the register by just throwing the items up there, expecting me to pay for them when you knew that I was shopping for something for myself and paying.

Whaaat? Ambushed? He's her husband? This is family. This seems very what's yours is yours and mine is mine, if you can't purchase two items of baby clothes out of your "own" money. Good grief. Do you keep a tally of what is owed to each other as well???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman and couldn't care less about any of the kids in my family. Maybe I'll feel differently when my brother has kids. I don't even know the names of all of my cousins' kids.

If I was married to you, I would be pissed off that my hard earned money is being wasted on junk for a kid that isn't even mine.

A great majority of you sound incredibly selfish and self-centered. "junk for a kid that isn't even mine"

They are married, her niece should be his niece as well. You are obviously not family oriented at all.