Husband is not interested in being an uncle ... ?

[Anonymous]

This sounds like my DH but I have never read into it at all. You sound crazy.

[Anonymous]

Personally I've never seen any man gushing over a baby that wasn't his.

OP, you need to make a bigger effort to understand your husband, and maybe men in general, rather than being so hurt and offended by completely normal male behavior.

Lol, I cannot imagine showing my DH pictures of other people's children and expecting him to "ooh and ahh". And he's a phenomenal dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Does he have any right to be upset when I ask him to buy things for my niece? When we were shopping the other day, he was shopping for himself and while he was at the register I added two more items for her. He got mad at me afterwards. The same thing happened last week while we were at the grocery store. I felt a little attacked.

So maybe he just wants a break from your baby craziness? You seem poor at reading others people feelings. Are you on the spectrum or just a narcissist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Does he have any right to be upset when I ask him to buy things for my niece? When we were shopping the other day, he was shopping for himself and while he was at the register I added two more items for her. He got mad at me afterwards. The same thing happened last week while we were at the grocery store. I felt a little attacked.

So maybe he just wants a break from your baby craziness? You seem poor at reading others people feelings. Are you on the spectrum or just a narcissist?

I posted upthread about OP's disregard for husband's preferences on spending time with her family. But your explanation is probably even more plausible about her being a narcissist. Her husband probably doesn't wan't to be coerced into a baby by OP because the cousins would be close in age and all her baby-focus just brings it home.

[Anonymous]

I could have written this. My husband is a little more interested in seeing pictures of my niece and nephew now that I'm pregnant, but for the most part he hasn't interacted with them as babies. As my niece has grown into toddlerhood and become verbal and precocious, he's more interested in her.

I think he's just not comfortable with infants. I'll let you know how it goes when our own baby comes out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: Does he have any right to be upset when I ask him to buy things for my niece? When we were shopping the other day, he was shopping for himself and while he was at the register I added two more items for her. He got mad at me afterwards. The same thing happened last week while we were at the grocery store. I felt a little attacked.

So maybe he just wants a break from your baby craziness? You seem poor at reading others people feelings. Are you on the spectrum or just a narcissist?

I think she grew up extremely sheltered and babied. Probably spoiled too. She doesn't quite know how to function when someone isnt either babying her or treating her like everything she does is perfect and amazing.

[Anonymous]

Pay for the baby gifts yourself. It's your family, not his.

I went to visit in laws who had brought their kid to see grandparents. It was probably 18 months old at that time. I was there to see the adults. The relative's husband approached me holding the kid outstretched, and said "Do you want to hold her?" while smiling this tremendous smile. I said "Yes?" so he plunked her down. 5 minutes later I put her down on the floor.

OP, not everyone is into kids, or kids that aren't theirs/ their family. Maybe your husband is just waiting to be amazing to your own kids.

[Anonymous]

I don't even know where to start. You are obviously an entitled, spoiled, self-centered narcissist. There is absolutely no denying that. At all. You also spend way too much time with your family and so does your DH as a result. Two to three times A WEEK?! Get the hell out of here with that. Once a week, MAX. And even that is pushing it. Also, honestly, who the hell really is that interested in newborns? Outside of their parents? Not that many people. They can't do much, they aren't terribly interactive, and they aren't that interesting. To YOU, her aunt, yes, she may be special, precious, and all that jazz, but to your DH, she's a blob until she becomes more interactive, at which point, he can engage with her, and will likely be more interested in interacting with her. Even then, it's no guarantee. Guys just aren't that into kids to begin with, and some women (like myself), also aren't. It's not a big deal. Stop making it out to be.

Now riddle me this - why do you think your DH is responsible for paying for items for YOUR niece? Do you not work? Do you not have money? If he's out shopping for himself or for other items, why are you tacking on gifts for YOUR niece? And where do you get off feeling attacked when he doesn't want to? He has every right to feel however he wants, but you feeling attacked is WILD. Like, WTF is wrong with YOU that YOU feel attacked? You sound unhinged. Go re-read your posts - both your OP and your follow-up up post and see how they look. They look crazy, lady! Bat$#!t f'ing crazy!

I genuinely feel for your DH because he is stuck with your looney a$$. For his own sake and his own sanity, I hope he's considering divorce, because nobody deserves to be with someone so psychotic. If you want to stay married, you really need to scale it back with the family time and tone it down on the level of crazy. I don't care how hot you are, if you are hot at all, because no level of hot justifies this level of insanity.

[Anonymous]

Your husband may become a better uncle when thedxasre older. Many people enjoy the company more of older children. It's fairly ordinary. Meanwhile Op you sound immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an almost one-year old baby niece who I adore. However, DH couldn't care less about her. He doesn't hold her or hug her when near her. He got mad at me the other day while we were out shopping at Macy's and I put a onesie at the register for her when he was paying. My family is very important to me and I'm very close with them, I see my family probably 2-3 times a week and talk to them often on the phone. When I show him pictures of her he may smile but doesn't really seem to care. DH comes over to my parents house maybe once a week and seems to enjoy himself but he doesn't seem to get nearly as excited as I do ...

I honestly feel embarrassed when i'm holding my niece and DH just kind of looks the other way, he makes excuses for not wanting to hold her. Is there any way to make him more engaged? I feel as if he's coming off as rude to my family.

We don't have kids yet. I've asked him about it and got upset because I felt like he just didn't care about my family. He said he would be more interested in his own children - not other peoples. I don't know if this is acceptable to me or not ...

Do you want to know what your husband feels like?

Check out the OP of this thread:
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/633052.page

The only difference is the gender reversal (OP is the wife-to-be posting from your husband's perspective).
These are the things that she sees as red flags, so much that she is considering calling off her wedding in two weeks. And many posters are telling her to call of the wedding.

* I feel overwhelmed by the amount of time he spends with his family. I’m not comfortable with it. I feel like his family is and will always come first, I will come second.
* He still sees his family 3 times per week, this is something I am grudgingly coming to terms with.
* He is obsessed with his nephew and gets frustrated when I show lack of interest. I don’t have any kids and am personally not really interested in other peoples kids – I am however very interested in having kids of my own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some men aren't into babies. Some men aren't into other people's babies.

Honestly, I think you're spending more time with your family than I would be comfortable with if I were married to you.

Why is spending time with family an issue?

It's DCUM. Having family is an issue. You are expected to terminate all prior relationships before you marry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pay for the baby gifts yourself. It's your family, not his.

I went to visit in laws who had brought their kid to see grandparents. It was probably 18 months old at that time. I was there to see the adults. The relative's husband approached me holding the kid outstretched, and said "Do you want to hold her?" while smiling this tremendous smile. I said "Yes?" so he plunked her down. 5 minutes later I put her down on the floor.

OP, not everyone is into kids, or kids that aren't theirs/ their family. Maybe your husband is just waiting to be amazing to your own kids.

Huh? It's his money, not hers? Wow.

OP, what is DH's family like? He sounds emotionally immature to me. Was his childhood somehow difficult? Emotional abuse in childhood turns people into automatons for quite a while. Having his own children may mellow him out, but I bet he won't feel ready for quite a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have an almost one-year old baby niece who I adore. However, DH couldn't care less about her. He doesn't hold her or hug her when near her. He got mad at me the other day while we were out shopping at Macy's and I put a onesie at the register for her when he was paying. My family is very important to me and I'm very close with them, I see my family probably 2-3 times a week and talk to them often on the phone. When I show him pictures of her he may smile but doesn't really seem to care. DH comes over to my parents house maybe once a week and seems to enjoy himself but he doesn't seem to get nearly as excited as I do ...

I honestly feel embarrassed when i'm holding my niece and DH just kind of looks the other way, he makes excuses for not wanting to hold her. Is there any way to make him more engaged? I feel as if he's coming off as rude to my family.

We don't have kids yet. I've asked him about it and got upset because I felt like he just didn't care about my family. He said he would be more interested in his own children - not other peoples. I don't know if this is acceptable to me or not ...

Do you want to know what your husband feels like?

Check out the OP of this thread:
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/633052.page

The only difference is the gender reversal (OP is the wife-to-be posting from your husband's perspective).
These are the things that she sees as red flags, so much that she is considering calling off her wedding in two weeks. And many posters are telling her to call of the wedding.

* I feel overwhelmed by the amount of time he spends with his family. I’m not comfortable with it. I feel like his family is and will always come first, I will come second.
* He still sees his family 3 times per week, this is something I am grudgingly coming to terms with.
* He is obsessed with his nephew and gets frustrated when I show lack of interest. I don’t have any kids and am personally not really interested in other peoples kids – I am however very interested in having kids of my own.

Interesting difference in opinions:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/631498.page

[Anonymous]

Nothing sounds wrong with your DH. It is normal that you are obsessed aunt, when niece is young, it is cute and she is first in your family most likely. What question needs to be asked is does he have nieces and nephews and how are you towards those kids? If you continue to be so involved after kid gets older, it will grate on your niece's parents, trust me, my sister has no kids, and it is annoying now that my kids are older teens how full of advice she and her husband are and how they are clueless about what parenting is. They yo-yo between being too strict when my kids visit and offering them wine and beer!

[Anonymous]

I'm a woman and couldn't care less about any of the kids in my family. Maybe I'll feel differently when my brother has kids. I don't even know the names of all of my cousins' kids.

If I was married to you, I would be pissed off that my hard earned money is being wasted on junk for a kid that isn't even mine.