Do you force your kids to play with certain kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it terribly sad that OP doesn't even mention walking a mile in Mary's shoes. Show some empathy if anything! How would you like being left out?

This definitely sounds like a mean moms and mean girls clique. They don't have time for that empathy BS.

+1

That is what stands out in all of this. Zero empathy. Many moms don't even care to teach their kids to be inclusive. Well, if they don't have anything in common, she should be allowed to show her the door.

[Anonymous]

I know, and they perpetuate the cycle and it just continues

[Anonymous]

What is with these clubs? My 4th grader started thus crap in the third grade. I told her it is being exclusive and divisive but she did not stop. They also have this group page on their Chromebooks where they share pics, poems, messages, and stuff they like. Strange.

[Anonymous]

My kids don't have to spend their free time with anyone, but
they must be at least polite, and refrain from being unkind or needlessly upsetting. This means that they can decide not to play with someone, but they cannot make an obvious point or big deal out of avoiding/excluding anyone they choose not to play with.

So, a "club vote" where everyone agrees not to play with Mary? Nope, that's just purposefully making a spectacle of things. If they don't enjoy Mary's company, it's fine IMO to quietly ask the friends they were going to play with "hey, does anyone want to invite Mary?" and then if nobody particularly wants her to play, just go about their business at recess without asking her to join. Not everyone will click with or want to spend extra time with each person that happens to be in the same class. But making a big to-do of it, and especially making Mary aware that everyone voted that they didn't want to play with her -- nope, needlessly cruel and not okay in my book.