Watching your friends relocate to the burbs for "schools"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP. Your friends "grew up" and decided this shit is real so, instead of working THAT hard and spending THAT KIND of money trying to keep up the millennial pretense of being cool, it was time to face facts. Kids are involved now....time to grow up.

Totally! This was us. Gave up on the coolness of being 15 mins from work and walking distance to amenities. Like another poster said, our stress levels decreased dramatically when we moved. Even our cat is happier, no less the kids. It's a wonderful feeling to open your door and feel comfortable with your children being able to run around outside while you sit in the kitchen and cook. And don't even get me started on the schools. I don't think it's racism either. I'm AA and left for the burbs because I sought more diversity for my children. DC is pretty segregated along race and class.

+1

And gentrification is making it worse!

Why?

Simply move to PG and thrive in your choice of "diversity"

This comment is so ignorant that I hesitate to respond. Diversity meaning a mix of race, ethnicity and class. DC is mostly populated by high SES whites and lower SES blacks= lack of diversity of race, ethnicity and gender. PG County is mostly populated by higher SES blacks = lack of diversity. Suburbs are mostly populated by a mix of white, blacks, hispanics, asians = diversity. Of course, i'm speaking in very general terms so no need to go pull census data. Hopefully, you get the point and if you don't I won't bother any further.

Please go and research a bit of DC demographics.

DC is becoming the most diverse ever in decades THANKS to gentrification.

And how much longer do you think middle and lower income households will able to make a go of it in DC?

How much longer until all the mixed hoods become mostly white, or at the very least primarily only UMC?

There was a piece in the Post last week which used one particular redevelopment as an example. I will go find it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^ And, to further complicate matters, our choices within dc all seem to revolve around our child having LESS independence than they would in a nearby walkable suburb. In moco, they'd take the school bus by themselves. If we lived in silver spring, they'd be one of hundreds of kids I see walking alone--and not an outlier, trekking a mile through deserted residential streets. This city is not friendly to its children. The metro is burning, crime is up, and there's not even crossing guards, let alone police, monitoring anything. Its depressing--at ten, I was taking myself across my city to magnet school and now, at ten, my child can't even walk four blocks.

See you in silver spring .

When I drive my kids to school in the morning, I drive by LAMB, Brightwood EC, and Truesdell EC (the latter two hardly privileged schools). There are crossing guards around each of these schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still "cool" in Shaw, and pregnant with my first. I get shit all the time for being pregnant and selling out and resigning myself to a life of not going out all the time any more and just general judgement.

But you know what? Now I also have some new friends who are new parents who are really excited for me. Bc what are my options? Hanging with people who truly pity me that I can't have five drinks on a Tuesday? Or figuring it out?

This wave of judgement from others is a daily hangover during any life transition. I'm living it and it really hurts, but big picture? Who cares.

SO MUCH THIS! Completely agree and glad you're not letting people like that ruin this life transition.

how old are you, 22? I have a very hard time believing anyone actually cares that much that you are pregnant. more likely you are projecting your own insecurities. also you will likely decamp for MoCo the second your kid does not get a PK3 spot at CMI.

Sorry pregnant Shaw lady, but the pp is right. You will bail. And because you are making such a stink about sticking out in DC, you will need a super good reason to leave.
I understand the point you were trying to make, but by admitting that you have not hit DCPS yet- you are actually working against yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ And, to further complicate matters, our choices within dc all seem to revolve around our child having LESS independence than they would in a nearby walkable suburb. In moco, they'd take the school bus by themselves. If we lived in silver spring, they'd be one of hundreds of kids I see walking alone--and not an outlier, trekking a mile through deserted residential streets. This city is not friendly to its children. The metro is burning, crime is up, and there's not even crossing guards, let alone police, monitoring anything. Its depressing--at ten, I was taking myself across my city to magnet school and now, at ten, my child can't even walk four blocks.

See you in silver spring .

When I drive my kids to school in the morning, I drive by LAMB, Brightwood EC, and Truesdell EC (the latter two hardly privileged schools). There are crossing guards around each of these schools.

+1. We have a crossing guard at our very not privileged school and he's a very nice fellow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still "cool" in Shaw, and pregnant with my first. I get shit all the time for being pregnant and selling out and resigning myself to a life of not going out all the time any more and just general judgement.

But you know what? Now I also have some new friends who are new parents who are really excited for me. Bc what are my options? Hanging with people who truly pity me that I can't have five drinks on a Tuesday? Or figuring it out?

This wave of judgement from others is a daily hangover during any life transition. I'm living it and it really hurts, but big picture? Who cares.

SO MUCH THIS! Completely agree and glad you're not letting people like that ruin this life transition.

how old are you, 22? I have a very hard time believing anyone actually cares that much that you are pregnant. more likely you are projecting your own insecurities. also you will likely decamp for MoCo the second your kid does not get a PK3 spot at CMI.

Sorry pregnant Shaw lady, but the pp is right. You will bail. And because you are making such a stink about sticking out in DC, you will need a super good reason to leave.
I understand the point you were trying to make, but by admitting that you have not hit DCPS yet- you are actually working against yourself.

There is no reason to assume you will bail. It's perfectly possible that you will do Seaton or Cleveland until you lottery into ITS or CMI or Two Rivers or a DCI feeder, or maybe one of the Montessori schools. Then you'll move on to DCI, Banneker, or maybe McKinley. It's a long time from now and there are many parents ahead of you working on it.

[Anonymous]

We usually have one and sometimes two at a particularly busy intersection on the way to school. But some days there is no crossing guard. So I walk with them because people run the lights all the time. I need to figure out how to get robocalls about the crossing guards!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD just started 3rd grade and same as the previous year's a small but consistent flow of our friends and acquaintances are no longer there. We do the tap dance of one or two play dates after they move where the conversation always circles back to their rationalization of why they just had to move out of the city which comes off as (you will understand soon enough). Am I missing something or are all of our peers simply misguided. It seems like every friend she makes now lives in Md or VA. I assume it will stabilize by middle school?

"Are all of or peers simply misguided?" Wow, what arrogant self-righteousness.

No one could possibly make a different choice than you without being misguided.

Maybe people move for better schools, or more space, or to get away from crime, or to avoid assorted nuisances inherent with city living, or to be near relatives in the burbs or any other of a million possible personal factors.

Nothing wrong with your choice to prioritize the benefits of the city, but your condescension towards your (no doubt former) friends who chose differently is the only thing that is misguided.

+ 100

We moved to MoCo, with some hesitation. Once we go there, we smacked ourselves on the head and asked ourselves why we didn't do it sooner.

To each his own. We moved to MoCo in Chevy Chase, MD. I could not get of there fast enough. I wanted back to DC. It's was too suburban for me. I never assumed that our kids would want to attend a state school. Our oldest chose a private college. I didn't want to choose for him. You never know what type of college your kid might want. You can't assume that because you move to VA or MD that your kid will want that unless you insist, which we didn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD just started 3rd grade and same as the previous year's a small but consistent flow of our friends and acquaintances are no longer there. We do the tap dance of one or two play dates after they move where the conversation always circles back to their rationalization of why they just had to move out of the city which comes off as (you will understand soon enough). Am I missing something or are all of our peers simply misguided. It seems like every friend she makes now lives in Md or VA. I assume it will stabilize by middle school?

"Are all of or peers simply misguided?" Wow, what arrogant self-righteousness.

No one could possibly make a different choice than you without being misguided.

Maybe people move for better schools, or more space, or to get away from crime, or to avoid assorted nuisances inherent with city living, or to be near relatives in the burbs or any other of a million possible personal factors.

Nothing wrong with your choice to prioritize the benefits of the city, but your condescension towards your (no doubt former) friends who chose differently is the only thing that is misguided.

+ 100

We moved to MoCo, with some hesitation. Once we go there, we smacked ourselves on the head and asked ourselves why we didn't do it sooner.

To each his own. We moved to MoCo in Chevy Chase, MD. I could not get of there fast enough. I wanted back to DC. It's was too suburban for me. I never assumed that our kids would want to attend a state school. Our oldest chose a private college. I didn't want to choose for him. You never know what type of college your kid might want. You can't assume that because you move to VA or MD that your kid will want that unless you insist, which we didn't.

Congratulations for being financially able to make that decision. I would love to be able to afford to pay for my kids to go to a private college. Or private high school. But we can't. So, public all the way for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP. Your friends "grew up" and decided this shit is real so, instead of working THAT hard and spending THAT KIND of money trying to keep up the millennial pretense of being cool, it was time to face facts. Kids are involved now....time to grow up.

Totally! This was us. Gave up on the coolness of being 15 mins from work and walking distance to amenities. Like another poster said, our stress levels decreased dramatically when we moved. Even our cat is happier, no less the kids. It's a wonderful feeling to open your door and feel comfortable with your children being able to run around outside while you sit in the kitchen and cook. And don't even get me started on the schools. I don't think it's racism either. I'm AA and left for the burbs because I sought more diversity for my children. DC is pretty segregated along race and class.

+1

And gentrification is making it worse!

Why?

Simply move to PG and thrive in your choice of "diversity"

This comment is so ignorant that I hesitate to respond. Diversity meaning a mix of race, ethnicity and class. DC is mostly populated by high SES whites and lower SES blacks= lack of diversity of race, ethnicity and gender. PG County is mostly populated by higher SES blacks = lack of diversity. Suburbs are mostly populated by a mix of white, blacks, hispanics, asians = diversity. Of course, i'm speaking in very general terms so no need to go pull census data. Hopefully, you get the point and if you don't I won't bother any further.

Please go and research a bit of DC demographics.

DC is becoming the most diverse ever in decades THANKS to gentrification.

And how much longer do you think middle and lower income households will able to make a go of it in DC?

How much longer until all the mixed hoods become mostly white, or at the very least primarily only UMC?

There was a piece in the Post last week which used one particular redevelopment as an example. I will go find it.

DC covers a lot of ground. There's going to be affordable real estate for decades to come.

Less than 30 years ago, true, but that is the very definition of progress, and of diversity.

[Anonymous]

I just dropped by from the Maryland forum, and this is fascinating to me. All the talk in Silver Spring is that you have to move to Bethesda by middle school or your child will be irreparably harmed by gangs or underachievers or whatever. Anxious parents probably always think the grass is greener elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just dropped by from the Maryland forum, and this is fascinating to me. All the talk in Silver Spring is that you have to move to Bethesda by middle school or your child will be irreparably harmed by gangs or underachievers or whatever. Anxious parents probably always think the grass is greener elsewhere.

Or whiter.

[Anonymous]

There is no question that DC is getting whiter. 8 years ago when we went to Upshur pool we stood out. Looking around Monday the only AA were the life guards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD just started 3rd grade and same as the previous year's a small but consistent flow of our friends and acquaintances are no longer there. We do the tap dance of one or two play dates after they move where the conversation always circles back to their rationalization of why they just had to move out of the city which comes off as (you will understand soon enough). Am I missing something or are all of our peers simply misguided. It seems like every friend she makes now lives in Md or VA. I assume it will stabilize by middle school?

"Are all of or peers simply misguided?" Wow, what arrogant self-righteousness.

No one could possibly make a different choice than you without being misguided.

Maybe people move for better schools, or more space, or to get away from crime, or to avoid assorted nuisances inherent with city living, or to be near relatives in the burbs or any other of a million possible personal factors.

Nothing wrong with your choice to prioritize the benefits of the city, but your condescension towards your (no doubt former) friends who chose differently is the only thing that is misguided.

+ 100

We moved to MoCo, with some hesitation. Once we go there, we smacked ourselves on the head and asked ourselves why we didn't do it sooner.

To each his own. We moved to MoCo in Chevy Chase, MD. I could not get of there fast enough. I wanted back to DC. It's was too suburban for me. I never assumed that our kids would want to attend a state school. Our oldest chose a private college. I didn't want to choose for him. You never know what type of college your kid might want. You can't assume that because you move to VA or MD that your kid will want that unless you insist, which we didn't.

Haha, Chevy Chase MD is almost indistinguishable from 90% of DC. Other than having good schools of course.

But it's true, the wealthy don't have to bail b/c they always can go private which I am sure you will well before college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD just started 3rd grade and same as the previous year's a small but consistent flow of our friends and acquaintances are no longer there. We do the tap dance of one or two play dates after they move where the conversation always circles back to their rationalization of why they just had to move out of the city which comes off as (you will understand soon enough). Am I missing something or are all of our peers simply misguided. It seems like every friend she makes now lives in Md or VA. I assume it will stabilize by middle school?

"Are all of or peers simply misguided?" Wow, what arrogant self-righteousness.

No one could possibly make a different choice than you without being misguided.

Maybe people move for better schools, or more space, or to get away from crime, or to avoid assorted nuisances inherent with city living, or to be near relatives in the burbs or any other of a million possible personal factors.

Nothing wrong with your choice to prioritize the benefits of the city, but your condescension towards your (no doubt former) friends who chose differently is the only thing that is misguided.

+ 100

We moved to MoCo, with some hesitation. Once we go there, we smacked ourselves on the head and asked ourselves why we didn't do it sooner.

To each his own. We moved to MoCo in Chevy Chase, MD. I could not get of there fast enough. I wanted back to DC. It's was too suburban for me. I never assumed that our kids would want to attend a state school. Our oldest chose a private college. I didn't want to choose for him. You never know what type of college your kid might want. You can't assume that because you move to VA or MD that your kid will want that unless you insist, which we didn't.

Haha, Chevy Chase MD is almost indistinguishable from 90% of DC. Other than having good schools of course.

But it's true, the wealthy don't have to bail b/c they always can go private which I am sure you will well before college.

I think you mean 90% of ward 3. Def not all of DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just dropped by from the Maryland forum, and this is fascinating to me. All the talk in Silver Spring is that you have to move to Bethesda by middle school or your child will be irreparably harmed by gangs or underachievers or whatever. Anxious parents probably always think the grass is greener elsewhere.

I think that hits the nail on the head. Kids will probably be fine, but the parents can't deal with it.