Watching your friends relocate to the burbs for "schools"

[Anonymous]

Yeah, it's hard, but there's not much you can do about it. Some people just have more money/different commute/prefer the burbs. And each kid really is different. Our middle school is kind of iffy and DS and DD have managed to stay on track, but it's not like I'm not concerned about it. Sometimes I wonder why it has been ok for them and not others. Better luck with getting good teachers, more interest in the subjects and activities that are strong at the school, I dunno. I take no credit for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happens OP. And the worst part is having to listen to your friends justify their decisions to leave by putting down your decision to stay - by insisting that the school where you are sending your child, where you can see with your own eyes your child is thriving - is somehow wrecking your child.

It hurst, and it is hard to listen to. And it has no basis in reality. But eventually, you become tight with cohort that stays. (or you leave and become like your friends. And as much as I'd like all my friends to stay, it is not a mortal sin to move to the burbs).

Agreed, it's not personal as much as it might feel that way sometimes. Just do what you think is right. Stay or go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD just started 3rd grade and same as the previous year's a small but consistent flow of our friends and acquaintances are no longer there. We do the tap dance of one or two play dates after they move where the conversation always circles back to their rationalization of why they just had to move out of the city which comes off as (you will understand soon enough). Am I missing something or are all of our peers simply misguided. It seems like every friend she makes now lives in Md or VA. I assume it will stabilize by middle school?

"Are all of or peers simply misguided?" Wow, what arrogant self-righteousness.

No one could possibly make a different choice than you without being misguided.

Maybe people move for better schools, or more space, or to get away from crime, or to avoid assorted nuisances inherent with city living, or to be near relatives in the burbs or any other of a million possible personal factors.

Nothing wrong with your choice to prioritize the benefits of the city, but your condescension towards your (no doubt former) friends who chose differently is the only thing that is misguided.

[Anonymous]

Paying for college is a real concern for us. Our oldest is in 5th grade - and we are in a good feeder school. But the reality of saving for and paying for college may drive us to move out of DC.

[Anonymous]

Definitely not misguided. We've lived in both the city and burbs with two kids and I can't wait to get us all back to the burbs. I just can't rationalize the added costs, traffic, congestion, space constraints, crime, frustration and the inconvenience to get simple errands done! We of course see the positives that living in a city offer but our stress levels increased drastically when we moved back to the city this last time. It's not worth it. This will be our last year in DC.

[Anonymous]

It's racism. Pure and simple. The rationalization are just that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Paying for college is a real concern for us. Our oldest is in 5th grade - and we are in a good feeder school. But the reality of saving for and paying for college may drive us to move out of DC.

This is something I think about as well. Just looked it up- Virginia public colleges are $25-30,000 a year cheaper for in-state students. Even with the $10K per year from TAG (assuming it continues), that's an extra $60-80K per kid if you stay in DC. With two kids that could be a $160,000 difference. And that is coming from a family very happy with our current school and middle and high school options.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP. Your friends "grew up" and decided this shit is real so, instead of working THAT hard and spending THAT KIND of money trying to keep up the millennial pretense of being cool, it was time to face facts. Kids are involved now....time to grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD just started 3rd grade and same as the previous year's a small but consistent flow of our friends and acquaintances are no longer there. We do the tap dance of one or two play dates after they move where the conversation always circles back to their rationalization of why they just had to move out of the city which comes off as (you will understand soon enough). Am I missing something or are all of our peers simply misguided. It seems like every friend she makes now lives in Md or VA. I assume it will stabilize by middle school?

"Are all of or peers simply misguided?" Wow, what arrogant self-righteousness.

No one could possibly make a different choice than you without being misguided.

Maybe people move for better schools, or more space, or to get away from crime, or to avoid assorted nuisances inherent with city living, or to be near relatives in the burbs or any other of a million possible personal factors.

Nothing wrong with your choice to prioritize the benefits of the city, but your condescension towards your (no doubt former) friends who chose differently is the only thing that is misguided.

+ 100

We moved to MoCo, with some hesitation. Once we go there, we smacked ourselves on the head and asked ourselves why we didn't do it sooner.

[Anonymous]

We moved to MoCo and some of our city friends give off the vibe that we have become uncool, boring hicks for leaving the city. They ask if we moved for schools and we always laughingly say we wanted a big yard and more closet space, then add that we miss being able to walk to shops, restaurants, etc. No judgment, no hard feelings. (Schools were also one factor, but we leave that out.) But OP, if you ask people why they moved, they'll tell you their reasons. If you don't ask and they just offer up criticisms of city living, then I'd agree that's not tactful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's racism. Pure and simple. The rationalization are just that.

Were you always this simple or did you have to work to reach this state of stupidity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's racism. Pure and simple. The rationalization are just that.

Were you always this simple or did you have to work to reach this state of stupidity?

But it is racism. People are trying to get away from crime and bad schools. Crime and bad schools equal black people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's racism. Pure and simple. The rationalization are just that.

"It's white people's fault!" again?!?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Paying for college is a real concern for us. Our oldest is in 5th grade - and we are in a good feeder school. But the reality of saving for and paying for college may drive us to move out of DC.

Are you familiar with the DC Tuition Assistance program? It is a reason many stay and/or move to DC to help pay for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hoping at least a significant percent of the kids in our elementary will stay together for Hardy... the trends are looking good. If not, we're MoCo bound in 4th.

You aren't going to know if your cohort is going to stick together until 5th. I may be reading too much into a short post, but it sounds like you already have one foot out the door - so if you are any indication of the rest of your cohort, the answer is no, you are not going to stick together.