Wohm moms- how involved are you at your kid's elementary school and related activities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Our school has a sign up sheet for room parents out at the open house/sneak peek day before school starts. Any parent who visits the classroom to meet the teacher that day can sign up."

Don't love that either since those events are held during the work day so some WOHPs may not take off for it.

Regarding complaining about the dads - I would say it is the responsibility of each kid's family to pitch in and help. If the family chooses for that to be mostly the mom that is up to them.

If you enjoy the neat evening events and book fair etc that the PTA does then volunteer to help with at least one of them. Saying you did a field trip does not really give you a pass for volunteering no time helping with events IF your family enjoys them and goes to them regularly.

Those evening events are so stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM here. I'm side eyeing all these responses which claim that the PTA is just an empty "excuse" to get out at night for a meeting in which nothing important is discussed.

Oh sorry then why am I volunteering in the library, art class, and computer center three times a week? Plus being the room mom for one of my kids' teachers? Because it's an empty excuse and there is no real need for the help??? If there was no need for the help, then why am I being asked to do all this stuff? They'd be able to spread it out more if more parents were involved. Come on people. Open your eyes.

I have been both a SAHM and now I WOH. I volunteer only slightly less than when I SAH. Instead of criticizing the other women, I feel we should criticize the fathers! They show a remarkable lack of participation. All the children's activities with school is usually thrown onto the mothers. Most women (SAH and WOH) are doing plenty for their families. Come on Dads, let pick up some slack!

Honestly I don't know about this. We have three kids who have been variously involved in soccer, lacrosse, and baseball. At their level, it is all parent volunteers who coach and ump and by far and away it is all fathers doing it, including the co-ed leagues for soccer. So it's not that they don't volunteer to help their kids. It's just that it's still a pretty retro breakdown (mothers in the school, fathers out on the ball field).

Who can say which is more important for kids' well being? I'd say you need both (but we are a really active family).

This. My DH coaches every single season. He coaches three sports and coaches a travel team. He spends hours upon hours working with these kids. Today, in the heat, we have two back to back flag football games and a practice. He went out to the store and bought a big canopy to keep them covered and a bunch of other things to keep them cool. He has spent time planning for the games and fielding a ton of calls, emails, and texts from the parents.

I can tell you, my boys much more value his time on the field than my time in the classroom. It's not even a contest.

Good for him. However, he is not the norm. I have been class mom for 4 years now for both my girls. The volunteer list and participation is 98% moms, and Even 2% is generous. This thread perpetuates the idea that working dads are excused from being involved. Just remember...it takes a village to make it work.....

He is the norm. The vast majority, maybe 98% of volunteers out on the fields and running the volunteer children's sports leagues are men. Not women.

PP was stating that most dads are simply not that involved period. Yes most coaches are dads; most dads are not coaches. Most classroom interaction is done by moms; most moms are pretty involved with their kids classroom (at least for pta involvement, pt conferences, etc).

And I guess non-sporty dads are kind of cut out here.

[Anonymous]

Teacher here. When my DD was in ES, I think I went on 2 field trips, one class seasonal party, every parent/teacher conference, a few PTA meetings, all of her concerts/plays at night and a few other evening activities as well as all of the BTS nights and Meet Your Teacher events. She went to most class parties she was invited to. I only get one personal day per year so I wasn't about to use that one day on "fluff" like class parties. The parties/field trips I did go to were usually on Spring Break as I work in a different county and many years we had different Spring Breaks. I did take personal days (usually a half day) for parent/teacher conferences.

[Anonymous]

PP here. I also contributed indirectly to school. I always bought something the teacher wish list each year and sent in supplies/food, etc for TAW and parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM here. I'm side eyeing all these responses which claim that the PTA is just an empty "excuse" to get out at night for a meeting in which nothing important is discussed.

Oh sorry then why am I volunteering in the library, art class, and computer center three times a week? Plus being the room mom for one of my kids' teachers? Because it's an empty excuse and there is no real need for the help??? If there was no need for the help, then why am I being asked to do all this stuff? They'd be able to spread it out more if more parents were involved. Come on people. Open your eyes.

I have been both a SAHM and now I WOH. I volunteer only slightly less than when I SAH. Instead of criticizing the other women, I feel we should criticize the fathers! They show a remarkable lack of participation. All the children's activities with school is usually thrown onto the mothers. Most women (SAH and WOH) are doing plenty for their families. Come on Dads, let pick up some slack!

Honestly I don't know about this. We have three kids who have been variously involved in soccer, lacrosse, and baseball. At their level, it is all parent volunteers who coach and ump and by far and away it is all fathers doing it, including the co-ed leagues for soccer. So it's not that they don't volunteer to help their kids. It's just that it's still a pretty retro breakdown (mothers in the school, fathers out on the ball field).

Who can say which is more important for kids' well being? I'd say you need both (but we are a really active family).

This. My DH coaches every single season. He coaches three sports and coaches a travel team. He spends hours upon hours working with these kids. Today, in the heat, we have two back to back flag football games and a practice. He went out to the store and bought a big canopy to keep them covered and a bunch of other things to keep them cool. He has spent time planning for the games and fielding a ton of calls, emails, and texts from the parents.

I can tell you, my boys much more value his time on the field than my time in the classroom. It's not even a contest.

Good for him. However, he is not the norm. I have been class mom for 4 years now for both my girls. The volunteer list and participation is 98% moms, and Even 2% is generous. This thread perpetuates the idea that working dads are excused from being involved. Just remember...it takes a village to make it work.....

He is the norm. The vast majority, maybe 98% of volunteers out on the fields and running the volunteer children's sports leagues are men. Not women.

PP was stating that most dads are simply not that involved period. Yes most coaches are dads; most dads are not coaches. Most classroom interaction is done by moms; most moms are pretty involved with their kids classroom (at least for pta involvement, pt conferences, etc).

And I guess non-sporty dads are kind of cut out here.

The other thing is that there are a lot of perks with coaching that doesn't happen with other volunteering. You get to move your kid up a level, you get to pick who your kid plays with. You get to pick the day and time of practice often. What position they play. It's not all so altruistic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM here. I'm side eyeing all these responses which claim that the PTA is just an empty "excuse" to get out at night for a meeting in which nothing important is discussed.

Oh sorry then why am I volunteering in the library, art class, and computer center three times a week? Plus being the room mom for one of my kids' teachers? Because it's an empty excuse and there is no real need for the help??? If there was no need for the help, then why am I being asked to do all this stuff? They'd be able to spread it out more if more parents were involved. Come on people. Open your eyes.

I have been both a SAHM and now I WOH. I volunteer only slightly less than when I SAH. Instead of criticizing the other women, I feel we should criticize the fathers! They show a remarkable lack of participation. All the children's activities with school is usually thrown onto the mothers. Most women (SAH and WOH) are doing plenty for their families. Come on Dads, let pick up some slack!

Honestly I don't know about this. We have three kids who have been variously involved in soccer, lacrosse, and baseball. At their level, it is all parent volunteers who coach and ump and by far and away it is all fathers doing it, including the co-ed leagues for soccer. So it's not that they don't volunteer to help their kids. It's just that it's still a pretty retro breakdown (mothers in the school, fathers out on the ball field).

Who can say which is more important for kids' well being? I'd say you need both (but we are a really active family).

This. My DH coaches every single season. He coaches three sports and coaches a travel team. He spends hours upon hours working with these kids. Today, in the heat, we have two back to back flag football games and a practice. He went out to the store and bought a big canopy to keep them covered and a bunch of other things to keep them cool. He has spent time planning for the games and fielding a ton of calls, emails, and texts from the parents.

I can tell you, my boys much more value his time on the field than my time in the classroom. It's not even a contest.

Good for him. However, he is not the norm. I have been class mom for 4 years now for both my girls. The volunteer list and participation is 98% moms, and Even 2% is generous. This thread perpetuates the idea that working dads are excused from being involved. Just remember...it takes a village to make it work.....

So true! Never have I seen a room dad. It's pathetic.

really you have never seen a room dad? where do your kids go to school? My kid are at a DC charter and previously were at a private DC preschool and there were room dads at both. I would say maybe 10% of room parents are dads, but it definitely does happen. And I would say about 40% of chaperones are dads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM here. I'm side eyeing all these responses which claim that the PTA is just an empty "excuse" to get out at night for a meeting in which nothing important is discussed.

Oh sorry then why am I volunteering in the library, art class, and computer center three times a week? Plus being the room mom for one of my kids' teachers? Because it's an empty excuse and there is no real need for the help??? If there was no need for the help, then why am I being asked to do all this stuff? They'd be able to spread it out more if more parents were involved. Come on people. Open your eyes.

I have been both a SAHM and now I WOH. I volunteer only slightly less than when I SAH. Instead of criticizing the other women, I feel we should criticize the fathers! They show a remarkable lack of participation. All the children's activities with school is usually thrown onto the mothers. Most women (SAH and WOH) are doing plenty for their families. Come on Dads, let pick up some slack!

Honestly I don't know about this. We have three kids who have been variously involved in soccer, lacrosse, and baseball. At their level, it is all parent volunteers who coach and ump and by far and away it is all fathers doing it, including the co-ed leagues for soccer. So it's not that they don't volunteer to help their kids. It's just that it's still a pretty retro breakdown (mothers in the school, fathers out on the ball field).

Who can say which is more important for kids' well being? I'd say you need both (but we are a really active family).

This. My DH coaches every single season. He coaches three sports and coaches a travel team. He spends hours upon hours working with these kids. Today, in the heat, we have two back to back flag football games and a practice. He went out to the store and bought a big canopy to keep them covered and a bunch of other things to keep them cool. He has spent time planning for the games and fielding a ton of calls, emails, and texts from the parents.

I can tell you, my boys much more value his time on the field than my time in the classroom. It's not even a contest.

Good for him. However, he is not the norm. I have been class mom for 4 years now for both my girls. The volunteer list and participation is 98% moms, and Even 2% is generous. This thread perpetuates the idea that working dads are excused from being involved. Just remember...it takes a village to make it work.....

He is the norm. The vast majority, maybe 98% of volunteers out on the fields and running the volunteer children's sports leagues are men. Not women.

PP was stating that most dads are simply not that involved period. Yes most coaches are dads; most dads are not coaches. Most classroom interaction is done by moms; most moms are pretty involved with their kids classroom (at least for pta involvement, pt conferences, etc).

And I guess non-sporty dads are kind of cut out here.

The other thing is that there are a lot of perks with coaching that doesn't happen with other volunteering. You get to move your kid up a level, you get to pick who your kid plays with. You get to pick the day and time of practice often. What position they play. It's not all so altruistic.

Actually, you don't get to pick when they practice. Fields are rented by the club and assigned. My DH has to work around the league schedule.

And did you just actually suggest that you child doesn't benefit from perks when mom is involved in the PTA? That's pretty funny!

If it were soooo great coaching, everyone would be doing it. My DH put up with so much bullshit and drama out of the parents and some absolutely bratty and spoiled children, that the ONLY reason he continues to do it is that my boys love it and are at that age where they are so proud of Daddy. It makes it worth putting up with the stress, obnoxious arm chair coachung and out of pocket expense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM here. I'm side eyeing all these responses which claim that the PTA is just an empty "excuse" to get out at night for a meeting in which nothing important is discussed.

Oh sorry then why am I volunteering in the library, art class, and computer center three times a week? Plus being the room mom for one of my kids' teachers? Because it's an empty excuse and there is no real need for the help??? If there was no need for the help, then why am I being asked to do all this stuff? They'd be able to spread it out more if more parents were involved. Come on people. Open your eyes.

You should ask your principal to do a year without all this crap. I moved my kids to a school that does not have all these distractions and it was a much better experience.

Come on people, do kids really need to cut out pumpkins and put them on a piece of paper with a black cat to complete their education.

Right because that's what I wrote that I do three times a week there

I reshelve books in the library, help supervise open library periods, help the art teacher restock supplies, help the kids with their art projects, and I supervise open periods in the computer lab. I act as an intermediary between parents and one of my kids' teachers. Basically the parent volunteers are coming in so that the children don't suffer because the state keeps cutting aide positions from the budget :/

I do all of this, not because I particularly want to do it all, but because someone has to and there are not enough volunteers to spread it around more thinly.

To the bolded, I'm not sure if you are aware, but there is actually quite a lot of research that says visual stimulation is important to create an environment conducive to leaning. It's not really the small, petty detail as you seem to imply.

I am a WOHM and I have also volunteered when I can at my DDs school, doing all those sorts of things. Looking at some of the PPs responses, I'm wondering if they either have never volunteered (so they have no idea the helpful things we can do) or if their school doesn't make good use of its volunteers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many things do you do at your child's elementary school and related activities? This includes PTA involvement, chaperoning field trips, attending class parties, gatherings in the evening for school for fundraisers, concerts, and school events, and taking your kid to classmate's birthday parties on the weekend

I am a WOHM and I have done all of the above, except chaperoning (DH usually does that one), to the extent I can. I can manage it because I am 30 hours a week and have some flexibility in my schedule if I have advanced notice.

[Anonymous]

"Those evening events are so stupid"

Great. So if you do not go to them you do not need to volunteer.

[Anonymous]

I have a small position on the PTA board, try to do one field trip per kid each school year, volunteer at some PTA activities, and send in food for school parties. I've volunteered in each classroom once or twice over the elementary school years - but was asked by the teacher for a specific purpose.

[Anonymous]

I was a room mom several times. I volunteered to work at various events. I was a GS leader and a cookie mom. I am a class mom this year and kid just started HS. I WOHM FT, but I work for myself so I do have a great deal more flexibility than if I worked a traditional job with an employer.

[Anonymous]

I usually volunteer at two or three events during the year -- I do field day, the big PTA carnival, and typically something in the fall. Also attend some events. Not every one, but things my child wants to do. I also join the PTA each year and give a large-ish donation instead of doing all the fundraisers.