Wohm moms- how involved are you at your kid's elementary school and related activities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will usually do one trip a year, come in for my child's birthday and read to the class and attend parent teacher conferences. All the rest of the stuff happens on evenings or weekends, so I don't see what WOH has to do with that.

This is me as well. I try to chaperone one trip a year and will come in for an event (not my kid's birthday, but maybe help with the valentines party or some other in-classroom event). I don't do the evening things not because I WOH but I want to spend evenings with my kids. They go to bed early and I get home about 45 minutes after their school ends. I like spending evenings with them and not on PTA events, etc. I do take them to birthday parties as often as they're invited, but sadly, one kid isn't invited to many (only one last year )

[Anonymous]

I gave up PTA meetings because it became clear that it was not a discussion on anything, just a lecture with the pretense of being a discussion and I could get the info from other places.

I also quickly learned that the school is run by sahm who take great pride in running things and my place was best spent letting them plan things and me just signing up to help in pre assigned time slots. I do the evening things my kid is interested in and any volunteer thing that involves my kids class.

I think the secret is what works best for you. For a year or two I stressed about doing enough and then realized I was making my life miserable. So now I do what I can, but when I do volunteer I make sure to actually be present. So many of these events turn into parents chatting at the side, not really helping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many things do you do at your child's elementary school and related activities? This includes PTA involvement, chaperoning field trips, attending class parties, gatherings in the evening for school for fundraisers, concerts, and school events, and taking your kid to classmate's birthday parties on the weekend

As much as possible. For me, it's a priority. My DC notices/appreciates seeing me (and my DH, who also helps in the class, field trips, etc.) I do a PTA activity (high visibility but done mostly at home) plus as much as possible in the class (anything from stuffing folders, to parent led art activities, to chaperoning field trips or class parties). And, I also admit this freely, my school is one where it appears that parents who are known/involved are viewed more favorably by staff. I don't like it but it is what it is. So, I play the game.

[Anonymous]

None. I would like to be involve in the PTA but I don't think I can manage it. Just alot of emails to manage. It seems stressful. And I'm trying to reduce stress. Is it selfish of me to avoid a lot of these events cause I think I will be very stressed and complain a lot?
We do have soccer and attend whatever school activities that are on evenings (if possible). Definitely nothing during work hours since we work FT. We did swim in the spring/summer and the amount of emails are overwhelmingly annoying. Everyday, there was something. Maybe that's why I barely know any of the parents from the swim meets. They don't even talk to me!
Maybe I need to start participating in family stuff.

[Anonymous]

Honestly? Not very. DCs go to after care and do activities on Saturday morning. That's enough for us. I'm not involved in the PTA or anything like that. I have no interest, to be frank. Leave that to the women who refuse to work for a living.

[Anonymous]

SAHM here. I'm side eyeing all these responses which claim that the PTA is just an empty "excuse" to get out at night for a meeting in which nothing important is discussed.

Oh sorry then why am I volunteering in the library, art class, and computer center three times a week? Plus being the room mom for one of my kids' teachers? Because it's an empty excuse and there is no real need for the help??? If there was no need for the help, then why am I being asked to do all this stuff? They'd be able to spread it out more if more parents were involved. Come on people. Open your eyes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SAHM here. I'm side eyeing all these responses which claim that the PTA is just an empty "excuse" to get out at night for a meeting in which nothing important is discussed.

Oh sorry then why am I volunteering in the library, art class, and computer center three times a week? Plus being the room mom for one of my kids' teachers? Because it's an empty excuse and there is no real need for the help??? If there was no need for the help, then why am I being asked to do all this stuff? They'd be able to spread it out more if more parents were involved. Come on people. Open your eyes.

You should ask your principal to do a year without all this crap. I moved my kids to a school that does not have all these distractions and it was a much better experience.

Come on people, do kids really need to cut out pumpkins and put them on a piece of paper with a black cat to complete their education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM here. I'm side eyeing all these responses which claim that the PTA is just an empty "excuse" to get out at night for a meeting in which nothing important is discussed.

Oh sorry then why am I volunteering in the library, art class, and computer center three times a week? Plus being the room mom for one of my kids' teachers? Because it's an empty excuse and there is no real need for the help??? If there was no need for the help, then why am I being asked to do all this stuff? They'd be able to spread it out more if more parents were involved. Come on people. Open your eyes.

You should ask your principal to do a year without all this crap. I moved my kids to a school that does not have all these distractions and it was a much better experience.

Come on people, do kids really need to cut out pumpkins and put them on a piece of paper with a black cat to complete their education.

Right because that's what I wrote that I do three times a week there

I reshelve books in the library, help supervise open library periods, help the art teacher restock supplies, help the kids with their art projects, and I supervise open periods in the computer lab. I act as an intermediary between parents and one of my kids' teachers. Basically the parent volunteers are coming in so that the children don't suffer because the state keeps cutting aide positions from the budget :/

I do all of this, not because I particularly want to do it all, but because someone has to and there are not enough volunteers to spread it around more thinly.

To the bolded, I'm not sure if you are aware, but there is actually quite a lot of research that says visual stimulation is important to create an environment conducive to leaning. It's not really the small, petty detail as you seem to imply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SAHM here. I'm side eyeing all these responses which claim that the PTA is just an empty "excuse" to get out at night for a meeting in which nothing important is discussed.

Oh sorry then why am I volunteering in the library, art class, and computer center three times a week? Plus being the room mom for one of my kids' teachers? Because it's an empty excuse and there is no real need for the help??? If there was no need for the help, then why am I being asked to do all this stuff? They'd be able to spread it out more if more parents were involved. Come on people. Open your eyes.

I have been both a SAHM and now I WOH. I volunteer only slightly less than when I SAH. Instead of criticizing the other women, I feel we should criticize the fathers! They show a remarkable lack of participation. All the children's activities with school is usually thrown onto the mothers. Most women (SAH and WOH) are doing plenty for their families. Come on Dads, let pick up some slack!

[Anonymous]

I did everything you have listed when I was a working mom. DH and I took turns for field trips and class parties during the middle of the work day. I went to most PTA meetings as they were at 7pm and chaired 2 events, both evenings. I volunteered at the book fair.

I am now a SAHM with 2 kids in elementary school and pregnant. I am still very involved but probably do less than when I was a working mom. I pick and choose the events I like vs going to every event. DH has a more demanding job and rarely goes to events during the middle of the day. He does go to all the big school events that are in the evenings. We attend most restaurant night fundraisers as a family.

[Anonymous]

I did everything you have listed when I was a working mom. DH and I took turns for field trips and class parties during the middle of the work day. I went to most PTA meetings as they were at 7pm and chaired 2 events, both evenings. I volunteered at the book fair.

I am now a SAHM with 2 kids in elementary school and pregnant. I am still very involved but probably do less than when I was a working mom. I pick and choose the events I like vs going to every event. DH has a more demanding job and rarely goes to events during the middle of the day. He does go to all the big school events that are in the evenings. We attend most restaurant night fundraisers as a family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM here. I'm side eyeing all these responses which claim that the PTA is just an empty "excuse" to get out at night for a meeting in which nothing important is discussed.

Oh sorry then why am I volunteering in the library, art class, and computer center three times a week? Plus being the room mom for one of my kids' teachers? Because it's an empty excuse and there is no real need for the help??? If there was no need for the help, then why am I being asked to do all this stuff? They'd be able to spread it out more if more parents were involved. Come on people. Open your eyes.

I have been both a SAHM and now I WOH. I volunteer only slightly less than when I SAH. Instead of criticizing the other women, I feel we should criticize the fathers! They show a remarkable lack of participation. All the children's activities with school is usually thrown onto the mothers. Most women (SAH and WOH) are doing plenty for their families. Come on Dads, let pick up some slack!

Honestly I don't know about this. We have three kids who have been variously involved in soccer, lacrosse, and baseball. At their level, it is all parent volunteers who coach and ump and by far and away it is all fathers doing it, including the co-ed leagues for soccer. So it's not that they don't volunteer to help their kids. It's just that it's still a pretty retro breakdown (mothers in the school, fathers out on the ball field).

Who can say which is more important for kids' well being? I'd say you need both (but we are a really active family).

[Anonymous]

I WOH and was taken aback this year when the announcement for room moms only went out after other moms had somehow already taken the room mom slot for certain classrooms. While I appreciate the work that the PTA and SAHMs do for our school, and think it is valuable, everyone should have an equal opportunity to volunteer for opportunities. It should not be a situation where certain people get the job first before the announcement to others even goes out. I would have been interested in doing it and feel completely undermined and cut out. And yes, I know I can ask to be a co room mom, and perhaps I will, but that doesn't change the fact that what happened was wrong and rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I WOH and was taken aback this year when the announcement for room moms only went out after other moms had somehow already taken the room mom slot for certain classrooms. While I appreciate the work that the PTA and SAHMs do for our school, and think it is valuable, everyone should have an equal opportunity to volunteer for opportunities. It should not be a situation where certain people get the job first before the announcement to others even goes out. I would have been interested in doing it and feel completely undermined and cut out. And yes, I know I can ask to be a co room mom, and perhaps I will, but that doesn't change the fact that what happened was wrong and rude.

Our school has a sign up sheet for room parents out at the open house/sneak peek day before school starts. Any parent who visits the classroom to meet the teacher that day can sign up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM here. I'm side eyeing all these responses which claim that the PTA is just an empty "excuse" to get out at night for a meeting in which nothing important is discussed.

Oh sorry then why am I volunteering in the library, art class, and computer center three times a week? Plus being the room mom for one of my kids' teachers? Because it's an empty excuse and there is no real need for the help??? If there was no need for the help, then why am I being asked to do all this stuff? They'd be able to spread it out more if more parents were involved. Come on people. Open your eyes.

You should ask your principal to do a year without all this crap. I moved my kids to a school that does not have all these distractions and it was a much better experience.

Come on people, do kids really need to cut out pumpkins and put them on a piece of paper with a black cat to complete their education.

Right because that's what I wrote that I do three times a week there

I reshelve books in the library, help supervise open library periods, help the art teacher restock supplies, help the kids with their art projects, and I supervise open periods in the computer lab. I act as an intermediary between parents and one of my kids' teachers. Basically the parent volunteers are coming in so that the children don't suffer because the state keeps cutting aide positions from the budget :/

I do all of this, not because I particularly want to do it all, but because someone has to and there are not enough volunteers to spread it around more thinly.

To the bolded, I'm not sure if you are aware, but there is actually quite a lot of research that says visual stimulation is important to create an environment conducive to leaning. It's not really the small, petty detail as you seem to imply.

That should be against the law. You know another kids personal information and you are only a volunteer. That is ridiculous.

How about kids put their own books back and learn how to do that.

I doubt there is research that says a nosy mom needs to hoover over a child while he learns to glue.

Mostly teachers have parents help so they feel part of the community. Most teacher complain that the parents are more of a distraction than help and that they don't know how to handle kids and cause more harm that good. They can handle their classroom without you.

Now if you want to work in the office and staple things that is fine.

You are not really needed, you are fine, it gives you purpose, I get it. But the school would be fine without you. You do realize that if you stopped showing up, everything would be fine. Parent usually don't figure that out until the get mad, stop going and voila, everything is still fine.