Teen needs to miss a week at her internship this summer due to family vacation ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Op has a parenting question. This thread should not be about the right/wrong of unpaid summer interns. We all have plenty to say on that - let's start a new thread for that.

Here's the parenting answer then:

OP. Your daughter's poo small a no sweeter than anyone else's. Your answer is that your daughter needs to handle this and she needs to worry about whether she will need this reference or not. Skipping town like she intends will make her seem like she is not serious and if you are involved, like she is too immature to be trusted with real responsibility.

Paid or unpaid, this internship counts toward creating her work history. If next summer I was asked to evaluate someone as fantastic as you claim your daughter is, but the reference from the previous year was really bland, I would hire someone with less experience (or even no experience) but with a reference that praised their curiosity and spunk.

Your call.

And no medical condition requires a family vacation. That is just entitled b.s.

Ewwww, did you really just go there? PP you sniff up around your kids butts? That is something we quit back when they were 3 or so. But sniff away. ewwww

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't you just love how the crazy competitive world for high schoolers have completely taken over family life. So much so a child has a difficult time going on a family vacation in the summer. I grew up poor and worked constantly as a teen. There was no money for family vacations. Now I am a mom who has teens and recently underwent chemotherapy for cancer. My advice is that if you are able to, take the family vacation! You will not always have this opportunity. Family time is very important in the grand journey of life!

+1 You are only a teen once, then you have much more responsibility in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the point is that the teen,herself, should have negotiated the week off when offered the internship, like when you get a job offer. Not that she should not take the week off at all.

This is really the issue - she KNEW she had a vacation planned. When she accepted the offer, she should have disclosed the plans, regardless of the status of the job. People do this in the real world all of the time. I have had countless coworkers say they have planned vacations for one reason or another. It is only frowned upon when you spring it later.

You, as a mom, handled this badly. You should have had her disclose this at the very beginning when she was offered the internship. I suspect part of the issue is that you think your HIGH SCHOOL daughter is this huge advantage to this company. She isn't, FYI. And yes, I can tell you that as some random internet stranger.

Exactly what I was going to say - if this was a longstanding vacation plan then she knew when she was applying for the position. Now she basically has a few choices
1. Skip the vacation and continue the internship
2. Ask if it is possible to take the time off and deal with whatever consequences there may be. It could be nothing, or it could cost her a good recommendation.
3. Quit the internship outright to maintain her vacation time with no strings

No matter what, I hope she learned a lesson to be upfront whenever possible instead of sweating out consequences later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why we do not have any high school interns at or a high school internship program at our office, although we have been asked. Total waste of time and resources, and pain in the butt parents.

+1 Interns are a pain. And parents like this. Ugh. Not worth it at all.

[Anonymous]

LOL vacation for a medical problem

[Anonymous]

My parents did not tell me about my grandfather's death because I was in a high paced prestigious internship that would have led to a full time offer.

If i went to his funeral I would not have gotten an offer.

When you're an adult you make some hard choices. Just saying..in the grand scheme of things a vacation? Get real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It's only a meeting that she is missing. Unfortunately an important one. I'm not calling her boss for her ! This is something she has to do for herself. And to the pp who is all burned up ... You get what you pay for. Pretty entitled of you to think that college and grad students should work for free.

Are you kidding? Grad students work for free ALL the TIME! For my Masters, I did a required unpaid 600-hour internship in both years. Fortunately, both internships hired me. My workplace, and so many others, do unpaid internships every year. Effort pays off. Attendance pays off. Interest in a job pays off. In my previous job, I was an unpaid intern for a year before they hired me, and I worked there for 13 years. If you are telling your daughter it doesn't matter because it's not paid, you are setting her up to fail later in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have college and graduate school level upaid interns at my job. These are very competitive spots, despite the fact that they are unpaid. I can tell you that our organization would be PISSED at an intern that pulled this. And interns have pulled things like this because they appear to not know any better. And in response, they haven't gotten jobs here. Or we've failed to give them positive evaluations. Or we've refused to serve as future references for employers and schools, etc. Acting like this has consequences. I get that this is just a high schooler we're talking about but honestly, it's parents like you that help explain why so many young people seem to suck. They have no sense of what is professional and what commitment means. You say this is a vacation that had been planned a long time ago. You also had the dates school ends and begins again a long time ago. Why didn't you parent better in this situation? When she interviewed/applied for the internship, why weren't these issues discussed within your own family? There should have been a discussion on the impact the internship would have on her end of the year, or the start of her new year, or the vacation. And if these things were incompatible, then you find another internship or opportunity. That's your role as a parent. To teach her how to handle these kinds of decisions. You do your child no favors by modeling for her that you shouldn't plan ahead or that it's "no big deal" to make commitments and then back out.

You sound really bitter and angry. Those unpaid workers not working out for you?

Because interns are actually a lot of work for the firm that takes them, and not unpaid labor.

Oh, please. Keep telling yourself that- the firm is sacrificing by taking bright college and graduate students and paying them nothing. They are absolutely unpaid labor because they are NOT paid. The students who can take these unpaid internships have families that can support them while they work for free. Those well off students get better internships because of connections, then go on to get better jobs. The system is stacked against students from lower class families.

What I quoted is true, minus the "bright." I'm a PP who did required unpaid internships for my degree and was hired after my internship was complete, and my boss says she is not taking any more students, ever. It takes too much time from her actual work to try to train kids who have no work ethic, don't know how to speak to people politely/ professionally, and need too much hand-holding. The colleges keep calling and she says no more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have college and graduate school level upaid interns at my job. These are very competitive spots, despite the fact that they are unpaid. I can tell you that our organization would be PISSED at an intern that pulled this. And interns have pulled things like this because they appear to not know any better. And in response, they haven't gotten jobs here. Or we've failed to give them positive evaluations. Or we've refused to serve as future references for employers and schools, etc. Acting like this has consequences. I get that this is just a high schooler we're talking about but honestly, it's parents like you that help explain why so many young people seem to suck. They have no sense of what is professional and what commitment means. You say this is a vacation that had been planned a long time ago. You also had the dates school ends and begins again a long time ago. Why didn't you parent better in this situation? When she interviewed/applied for the internship, why weren't these issues discussed within your own family? There should have been a discussion on the impact the internship would have on her end of the year, or the start of her new year, or the vacation. And if these things were incompatible, then you find another internship or opportunity. That's your role as a parent. To teach her how to handle these kinds of decisions. You do your child no favors by modeling for her that you shouldn't plan ahead or that it's "no big deal" to make commitments and then back out.

You sound really bitter and angry. Those unpaid workers not working out for you?

Because interns are actually a lot of work for the firm that takes them, and not unpaid labor.

Oh, please. Keep telling yourself that- the firm is sacrificing by taking bright college and graduate students and paying them nothing. They are absolutely unpaid labor because they are NOT paid. The students who can take these unpaid internships have families that can support them while they work for free. Those well off students get better internships because of connections, then go on to get better jobs. The system is stacked against students from lower class families.

In HIGH SCHOOL, not college or graduate school, yes, they absolutely are more work for the firm.

PP here, but not this PP. Incorrect. See my previous post re: grad students.

[Anonymous]

You all are such whiners. Interns walk around the place and see everyone. Not a lot of work in that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all are such whiners. Interns walk around the place and see everyone. Not a lot of work in that.

I'm a PP, and maybe it depends in what field the student is. In my field, there can never be too many workers. As an intern, I was thrown into daily functions in week one, sink or swim. I had the equivalent of one day's training, over 1-2 days, and then my boss threw me into everyday job functions, because she didn't have any more time to train me. It's a great way to learn on your feet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It's only a meeting that she is missing. Unfortunately an important one. I'm not calling her boss for her ! This is something she has to do for herself. And to the pp who is all burned up ... You get what you pay for. Pretty entitled of you to think that college and grad students should work for free.

Are you kidding? Grad students work for free ALL the TIME! For my Masters, I did a required unpaid 600-hour internship in both years. Fortunately, both internships hired me. My workplace, and so many others, do unpaid internships every year. Effort pays off. Attendance pays off. Interest in a job pays off. In my previous job, I was an unpaid intern for a year before they hired me, and I worked there for 13 years. If you are telling your daughter it doesn't matter because it's not paid, you are setting her up to fail later in life.

Do you think hs students and grad students work on the same level ? Maybe at McDonald's

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It's only a meeting that she is missing. Unfortunately an important one. I'm not calling her boss for her ! This is something she has to do for herself. And to the pp who is all burned up ... You get what you pay for. Pretty entitled of you to think that college and grad students should work for free.

Are you kidding? Grad students work for free ALL the TIME! For my Masters, I did a required unpaid 600-hour internship in both years. Fortunately, both internships hired me. My workplace, and so many others, do unpaid internships every year. Effort pays off. Attendance pays off. Interest in a job pays off. In my previous job, I was an unpaid intern for a year before they hired me, and I worked there for 13 years. If you are telling your daughter it doesn't matter because it's not paid, you are setting her up to fail later in life.

Do you think hs students and grad students work on the same level ? Maybe at McDonald's

Do I, PP, think so? If they're in a competitive internship, yes. My point in posting was that OP said college/ grad students shouldn't work for free. They should/ can/ do if they want their Masters, in a competitive program. Doing so in high school prepares them for the real world.

[Anonymous]

My daughter did not apply for internships that were not flexible enough to allow her to attend our family vacation. She has a great position and no hesitation about the trip. Priorities & communication.

[Anonymous]

PP, did you do an unpaid internship at McDonald's?