Teen needs to miss a week at her internship this summer due to family vacation ...

[Anonymous]

I guess if she has a large following on the internet, it's all good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She does not NEED to miss a week of her internship.

These are the hard choices. The hard choices of adulthood. And you accepting that she has, is starting to have her own life. And not everything works out. It's tough. It's sad not to spend time with family. That's life.

She could broach the subject with her internship. But don't make this about you - don't have her say, "My mom says I have to ... "

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have college and graduate school level upaid interns at my job. These are very competitive spots, despite the fact that they are unpaid. I can tell you that our organization would be PISSED at an intern that pulled this. And interns have pulled things like this because they appear to not know any better. And in response, they haven't gotten jobs here. Or we've failed to give them positive evaluations. Or we've refused to serve as future references for employers and schools, etc. Acting like this has consequences. I get that this is just a high schooler we're talking about but honestly, it's parents like you that help explain why so many young people seem to suck. They have no sense of what is professional and what commitment means. You say this is a vacation that had been planned a long time ago. You also had the dates school ends and begins again a long time ago. Why didn't you parent better in this situation? When she interviewed/applied for the internship, why weren't these issues discussed within your own family? There should have been a discussion on the impact the internship would have on her end of the year, or the start of her new year, or the vacation. And if these things were incompatible, then you find another internship or opportunity. That's your role as a parent. To teach her how to handle these kinds of decisions. You do your child no favors by modeling for her that you shouldn't plan ahead or that it's "no big deal" to make commitments and then back out.

You sound really bitter and angry. Those unpaid workers not working out for you?

Because interns are actually a lot of work for the firm that takes them, and not unpaid labor.

Oh, please. Keep telling yourself that- the firm is sacrificing by taking bright college and graduate students and paying them nothing. They are absolutely unpaid labor because they are NOT paid. The students who can take these unpaid internships have families that can support them while they work for free. Those well off students get better internships because of connections, then go on to get better jobs. The system is stacked against students from lower class families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the point is that the teen,herself, should have negotiated the week off when offered the internship, like when you get a job offer. Not that she should not take the week off at all.

+1

Also, why are you asking us? This is clearly a conversation your daughter needs to have with her supervisors. ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Ok, three things. First, she's a high school student. If they ok it, it isn't the end of the world. (If they ok it - just like any other job where you have to ASK for time off, not assume.)

Second, though, there are literally no health issues in the world where she needs a week long vacation but can otherwise work this competitive internship.

And third, unless she is interning at Instagram, having a social media following in high school doesn't mean she has any added "value." None.

Oh, and also, you seem to be having trouble keeping your story straight. Is she missing a week, or will she be working all her regular hours and just missing one meeting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have college and graduate school level upaid interns at my job. These are very competitive spots, despite the fact that they are unpaid. I can tell you that our organization would be PISSED at an intern that pulled this. And interns have pulled things like this because they appear to not know any better. And in response, they haven't gotten jobs here. Or we've failed to give them positive evaluations. Or we've refused to serve as future references for employers and schools, etc. Acting like this has consequences. I get that this is just a high schooler we're talking about but honestly, it's parents like you that help explain why so many young people seem to suck. They have no sense of what is professional and what commitment means. You say this is a vacation that had been planned a long time ago. You also had the dates school ends and begins again a long time ago. Why didn't you parent better in this situation? When she interviewed/applied for the internship, why weren't these issues discussed within your own family? There should have been a discussion on the impact the internship would have on her end of the year, or the start of her new year, or the vacation. And if these things were incompatible, then you find another internship or opportunity. That's your role as a parent. To teach her how to handle these kinds of decisions. You do your child no favors by modeling for her that you shouldn't plan ahead or that it's "no big deal" to make commitments and then back out.

You sound really bitter and angry. Those unpaid workers not working out for you?

Because interns are actually a lot of work for the firm that takes them, and not unpaid labor.

Oh, please. Keep telling yourself that- the firm is sacrificing by taking bright college and graduate students and paying them nothing. They are absolutely unpaid labor because they are NOT paid. The students who can take these unpaid internships have families that can support them while they work for free. Those well off students get better internships because of connections, then go on to get better jobs. The system is stacked against students from lower class families.

In HIGH SCHOOL, not college or graduate school, yes, they absolutely are more work for the firm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have college and graduate school level upaid interns at my job. These are very competitive spots, despite the fact that they are unpaid. I can tell you that our organization would be PISSED at an intern that pulled this. And interns have pulled things like this because they appear to not know any better. And in response, they haven't gotten jobs here. Or we've failed to give them positive evaluations. Or we've refused to serve as future references for employers and schools, etc. Acting like this has consequences. I get that this is just a high schooler we're talking about but honestly, it's parents like you that help explain why so many young people seem to suck. They have no sense of what is professional and what commitment means. You say this is a vacation that had been planned a long time ago. You also had the dates school ends and begins again a long time ago. Why didn't you parent better in this situation? When she interviewed/applied for the internship, why weren't these issues discussed within your own family? There should have been a discussion on the impact the internship would have on her end of the year, or the start of her new year, or the vacation. And if these things were incompatible, then you find another internship or opportunity. That's your role as a parent. To teach her how to handle these kinds of decisions. You do your child no favors by modeling for her that you shouldn't plan ahead or that it's "no big deal" to make commitments and then back out.

Basic professionalism = paying people for their labor. Which your outfit is not doing. That's not professional, it's exploitative. It's also enormously inequitable.

[Anonymous]

Even our great student interns. Each might be a great asset to one person in the office working on a project tangential but not integral to office mission, but often a lot of work to those of us required to support them with instruction or it, or Hr. Interns can be great, but they are rarely just free labor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the point is that the teen,herself, should have negotiated the week off when offered the internship, like when you get a job offer. Not that she should not take the week off at all.

+1

Also, why are you asking us? This is clearly a conversation your daughter needs to have with her supervisors. ASAP.

Absolutely. My 13 yr old is working a volunteer job this summer (summer camp staff) and was able to explain to his supervisor - when offered the job -- that he needs to be gone two weeks for a family vacation. I just don't get why this teen didn't mention a "long planned" family vacation when accepting the position. Unless she expected the offer to be withdrawn due to missing that time and now wants to ask for it when the supervisor feels they have no option but to say yes. It's dishonest and unprofessional (yes, even for a teenager, even for an unpaid position) and the parents should have explained to her how to handle this at the beginning of the process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have college and graduate school level upaid interns at my job. These are very competitive spots, despite the fact that they are unpaid. I can tell you that our organization would be PISSED at an intern that pulled this. And interns have pulled things like this because they appear to not know any better. And in response, they haven't gotten jobs here. Or we've failed to give them positive evaluations. Or we've refused to serve as future references for employers and schools, etc. Acting like this has consequences. I get that this is just a high schooler we're talking about but honestly, it's parents like you that help explain why so many young people seem to suck. They have no sense of what is professional and what commitment means. You say this is a vacation that had been planned a long time ago. You also had the dates school ends and begins again a long time ago. Why didn't you parent better in this situation? When she interviewed/applied for the internship, why weren't these issues discussed within your own family? There should have been a discussion on the impact the internship would have on her end of the year, or the start of her new year, or the vacation. And if these things were incompatible, then you find another internship or opportunity. That's your role as a parent. To teach her how to handle these kinds of decisions. You do your child no favors by modeling for her that you shouldn't plan ahead or that it's "no big deal" to make commitments and then back out.

You sound really bitter and angry. Those unpaid workers not working out for you?

Because interns are actually a lot of work for the firm that takes them, and not unpaid labor.

Oh, please. Keep telling yourself that- the firm is sacrificing by taking bright college and graduate students and paying them nothing. They are absolutely unpaid labor because they are NOT paid. The students who can take these unpaid internships have families that can support them while they work for free. Those well off students get better internships because of connections, then go on to get better jobs. The system is stacked against students from lower class families.

Every single year our unit realizes that the summer interns have taken much more work than they've assisted. And the. We're asked to take one again the next year and it just continues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the point is that the teen,herself, should have negotiated the week off when offered the internship, like when you get a job offer. Not that she should not take the week off at all.

This is really the issue - she KNEW she had a vacation planned. When she accepted the offer, she should have disclosed the plans, regardless of the status of the job. People do this in the real world all of the time. I have had countless coworkers say they have planned vacations for one reason or another. It is only frowned upon when you spring it later.

You, as a mom, handled this badly. You should have had her disclose this at the very beginning when she was offered the internship. I suspect part of the issue is that you think your HIGH SCHOOL daughter is this huge advantage to this company. She isn't, FYI. And yes, I can tell you that as some random internet stranger.

[Anonymous]

The Op has a parenting question. This thread should not be about the right/wrong of unpaid summer interns. We all have plenty to say on that - let's start a new thread for that.

[Anonymous]

Wait a minute. This is OP immediately above, right? So you start out saying your high school daughter needs to miss a week of an internship, and it's not paid, weak health excuse, it's only one meeting, etc. etc. but NOW you tell us that 74 other HS kids did not get the job? Damn right, she should do the work. Think of those 74 who didn't get that job. My DD - in high school - was the first high schooler ever to get an internship, unpaid, on a Senate Committee. It IS work for the Committee to run these internships. It IS of more value for the student than for the employer. It is a courtesy of the highest level and my DD worked damn hard to get it and no way is she going to flounce in there and say she's not showing up because of some family vacation. We are having no family vacation this year because of of one college student in a great paid (poorly) (but paid) gig in her field and the other, a high-schooler, in the Senate. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get some of these elite internships and especially a paid one in your designed field? Of course the internships and career investments come first - that's how both got into top universities. Hard work. OP is one lucky parent and should count her stars that her kid beat out 74 other kids for this internship and support her daughter to do a good job, be respectful, and get a good reference out of the experience.

The Senate -- is there an easier job anywhere? Ask all those elderly Senators -- Im talking to you Bernie! The only thing is the interns have to watch out for predators like Bill Clinton.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Op has a parenting question. This thread should not be about the right/wrong of unpaid summer interns. We all have plenty to say on that - let's start a new thread for that.

Here's the parenting answer then:

OP. Your daughter's poo small a no sweeter than anyone else's. Your answer is that your daughter needs to handle this and she needs to worry about whether she will need this reference or not. Skipping town like she intends will make her seem like she is not serious and if you are involved, like she is too immature to be trusted with real responsibility.

Paid or unpaid, this internship counts toward creating her work history. If next summer I was asked to evaluate someone as fantastic as you claim your daughter is, but the reference from the previous year was really bland, I would hire someone with less experience (or even no experience) but with a reference that praised their curiosity and spunk.

Your call.

And no medical condition requires a family vacation. That is just entitled b.s.

[Anonymous]

That is smells no sweeter. Sorry about the typing.