Teen needs to miss a week at her internship this summer due to family vacation ...

[Anonymous]

I'm curious to know how an internship could be so important that it's worth doing but so minor league that Mommy calls in sick for you.

[Anonymous]

If she's in high school it is not going to be the kind of internship where a week matters. But it would have been more professional for her to discuss her availability upfront.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She does not NEED to miss a week of her internship.

These are the hard choices. The hard choices of adulthood. And you accepting that she has, is starting to have her own life. And not everything works out. It's tough. It's sad not to spend time with family. That's life.

She could broach the subject with her internship. But don't make this about you - don't have her say, "My mom says I have to ... "

OP here: She does have some health issues that make it more of a "need" than it would be otherwise.

I am a nosy nelly and dying to know what health issue a teen has that requires them to take a vacation.

Probably depression/anxiety.

[Anonymous]

We have college and graduate school level upaid interns at my job. These are very competitive spots, despite the fact that they are unpaid. I can tell you that our organization would be PISSED at an intern that pulled this. And interns have pulled things like this because they appear to not know any better. And in response, they haven't gotten jobs here. Or we've failed to give them positive evaluations. Or we've refused to serve as future references for employers and schools, etc. Acting like this has consequences. I get that this is just a high schooler we're talking about but honestly, it's parents like you that help explain why so many young people seem to suck. They have no sense of what is professional and what commitment means. You say this is a vacation that had been planned a long time ago. You also had the dates school ends and begins again a long time ago. Why didn't you parent better in this situation? When she interviewed/applied for the internship, why weren't these issues discussed within your own family? There should have been a discussion on the impact the internship would have on her end of the year, or the start of her new year, or the vacation. And if these things were incompatible, then you find another internship or opportunity. That's your role as a parent. To teach her how to handle these kinds of decisions. You do your child no favors by modeling for her that you shouldn't plan ahead or that it's "no big deal" to make commitments and then back out.

[Anonymous]

Holy cow, OP. Don't let her take a week off from a competitive internship that she kept others from taking. My rising 8th grader is going to be a Jr. Counselor with the Parks & Rec for a few weeks this summer and we moved mountains (and our vacation time) to ensure that he could be here to fulfill his obligation.

You're creating a spoiled young adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have college and graduate school level upaid interns at my job. These are very competitive spots, despite the fact that they are unpaid. I can tell you that our organization would be PISSED at an intern that pulled this. And interns have pulled things like this because they appear to not know any better. And in response, they haven't gotten jobs here. Or we've failed to give them positive evaluations. Or we've refused to serve as future references for employers and schools, etc. Acting like this has consequences. I get that this is just a high schooler we're talking about but honestly, it's parents like you that help explain why so many young people seem to suck. They have no sense of what is professional and what commitment means. You say this is a vacation that had been planned a long time ago. You also had the dates school ends and begins again a long time ago. Why didn't you parent better in this situation? When she interviewed/applied for the internship, why weren't these issues discussed within your own family? There should have been a discussion on the impact the internship would have on her end of the year, or the start of her new year, or the vacation. And if these things were incompatible, then you find another internship or opportunity. That's your role as a parent. To teach her how to handle these kinds of decisions. You do your child no favors by modeling for her that you shouldn't plan ahead or that it's "no big deal" to make commitments and then back out.

+1!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

I don't see the harm in asking. She can offer to work some extra hours, if that woulf make any difference. After all, she is a high schooler. I just can't believe that an unpaid, high school intern is such a critical part of an org that this would really matter. Also, OP, is the internship actually in a field that she wants to enter, or is it a resume line for college? If a resume line, a reference doesn't matter.

[Anonymous]

OP here. It's only a meeting that she is missing. Unfortunately an important one. I'm not calling her boss for her ! This is something she has to do for herself. And to the pp who is all burned up ... You get what you pay for. Pretty entitled of you to think that college and grad students should work for free.

[Anonymous]

Well OP, even though it's just a free internship for you. They are other people vying for it.

[Anonymous]

I would be fine with a hs dd asking for the time off. It is unpaid, and not much more than trying to add a soft for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have college and graduate school level upaid interns at my job. These are very competitive spots, despite the fact that they are unpaid. I can tell you that our organization would be PISSED at an intern that pulled this. And interns have pulled things like this because they appear to not know any better. And in response, they haven't gotten jobs here. Or we've failed to give them positive evaluations. Or we've refused to serve as future references for employers and schools, etc. Acting like this has consequences. I get that this is just a high schooler we're talking about but honestly, it's parents like you that help explain why so many young people seem to suck. They have no sense of what is professional and what commitment means. You say this is a vacation that had been planned a long time ago. You also had the dates school ends and begins again a long time ago. Why didn't you parent better in this situation? When she interviewed/applied for the internship, why weren't these issues discussed within your own family? There should have been a discussion on the impact the internship would have on her end of the year, or the start of her new year, or the vacation. And if these things were incompatible, then you find another internship or opportunity. That's your role as a parent. To teach her how to handle these kinds of decisions. You do your child no favors by modeling for her that you shouldn't plan ahead or that it's "no big deal" to make commitments and then back out.[/quot

Thankfully she does not work for you. She did not ask to have these health concerns. They are lucky to have her. That's why she was selected

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see the harm in asking. She can offer to work some extra hours, if that woulf make any difference. After all, she is a high schooler. I just can't believe that an unpaid, high school intern is such a critical part of an org that this would really matter. Also, OP, is the internship actually in a field that she wants to enter, or is it a resume line for college? If a resume line, a reference doesn't matter.

This.

She really isn't in charge of her vacation. Her parents are. She can offer alternate arrangements.

And in terms of an important meeting she needs to be at? No, there is no important meeting that a high schooler needs to attend. She can pass off any notes or info to someone to present on her behalf if need be.

[Anonymous]

Well, the professional thing would have been to tell them in advance that she could only work certain dates. Barring that, she should talk to her manager about taking the week off and ask if it is ok, and offer to make up the time by coming in extra hours on other days (since she is part-time). They will probably tell her it's fine and she shouldn't worry about making up the hours. If they say they need her for that week (which I really doubt they will), she should accept that and miss the vacation.

Also, if she needs a strong reference and/or wants to come back next year, she should think twice about how important the vacation is. It does look pretty unprofessional to agree to take on an eight week internship (or however long it is) and then only show up for 80% of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have college and graduate school level upaid interns at my job. These are very competitive spots, despite the fact that they are unpaid. I can tell you that our organization would be PISSED at an intern that pulled this. And interns have pulled things like this because they appear to not know any better. And in response, they haven't gotten jobs here. Or we've failed to give them positive evaluations. Or we've refused to serve as future references for employers and schools, etc. Acting like this has consequences. I get that this is just a high schooler we're talking about but honestly, it's parents like you that help explain why so many young people seem to suck. They have no sense of what is professional and what commitment means. You say this is a vacation that had been planned a long time ago. You also had the dates school ends and begins again a long time ago. Why didn't you parent better in this situation? When she interviewed/applied for the internship, why weren't these issues discussed within your own family? There should have been a discussion on the impact the internship would have on her end of the year, or the start of her new year, or the vacation. And if these things were incompatible, then you find another internship or opportunity. That's your role as a parent. To teach her how to handle these kinds of decisions. You do your child no favors by modeling for her that you shouldn't plan ahead or that it's "no big deal" to make commitments and then back out.

Thankfully she does not work for you. She did not ask to have these health concerns. They are lucky to have her. That's why she was selected

What are the health concerns, OP? Would love to know what precisely requires an extended vacation for health reasons.

If she is such a catch, she should have already known to disclose this "long planned" vacation before she accepted the position. It's the responsible thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Op - just let them know your DC will miss a few days. they won't care. we have interns at my work (HS and college kids) and, since they don't do "real" work, no one cares

OMG MOM has NO role in this. This is totally the teen's responsibility. The teen - and only the teen - can clarify what can/can not be done, time taken off.