Just found out my father gave my son ham during thanksgiving!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a kosher family? Then yes I'd be pissed.

Not sure it will do you any good to complain to the parents. Your son is old enough to make his own decisions and police his own diet. I'd focus on getting him to say no.

Or did the parent sneak it into his food?

OP here - YES
My DS has never eaten pork and my father has been aware of this since his birth.
I am sure my father told him to just try it. DS adores his grandfather, so I am sure he did not want to disappoint him.
DS went to a party and wanted pepperoni pizza. The parent knew we did not eat pork and asked my son about it. Luckily the parent did not give DS the pepperoni pizza and call to let me know.
I asked DS about it and he stated, "Well I thought I just couldn't eat pork at home, because pop pop gave me some during Thanksgiving.
The other thing my father did was get my son's hair cut before he turned one, while I was deployed.

You hold grudges. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

When a parent tells you your son is being a bully or trying alcohol, don't be so sure your precious snowflake wouldn't do it. Be open to the fact they are their own person. If you push too hard, you might get a kid who rebels more than with pepperoni, but drugs and sex at a young age.

[Anonymous]

What's up with not eating pork? Is a religious thing for you? I think that's where I'm confused on why you are upset.

And if you were deployed, your son probably needed a haircut. People get so worked up over the first haircut thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's up with not eating pork? Is a religious thing for you? I think that's where I'm confused on why you are upset.

And if you were deployed, your son probably needed a haircut. People get so worked up over the first haircut thing.

I wish OP would just come out and say what she's upset about. Is she an Orthodox or otherwise observant Jew? Because the first haircut thing (at 3, I think) has religious significance for some observant Jews.

But, again, why not just say "We are observant Jews?"

My personal theory is that OP is observant and her family is less so. Her son is in a mainstream secular school, and wants the things his friends have. This is why people choose religious school.

[Anonymous]

13 is far too old to be blaming someone else for giving your son pork. If he wants to eat pork, he's going to find some and eat it. Not really that hard.

[Anonymous]

did you convert op? If so your dad might be resentful

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's up with not eating pork? Is a religious thing for you? I think that's where I'm confused on why you are upset.

And if you were deployed, your son probably needed a haircut. People get so worked up over the first haircut thing.

I wish OP would just come out and say what she's upset about. Is she an Orthodox or otherwise observant Jew? Because the first haircut thing (at 3, I think) has religious significance for some observant Jews.

But, again, why not just say "We are observant Jews?"

My personal theory is that OP is observant and her family is less so. Her son is in a mainstream secular school, and wants the things his friends have. This is why people choose religious school.

This information would have been helpful in the original post. Op, did your father deliberately go against you or is he getting a bit senile?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's up with not eating pork? Is a religious thing for you? I think that's where I'm confused on why you are upset.

And if you were deployed, your son probably needed a haircut. People get so worked up over the first haircut thing.

I wish OP would just come out and say what she's upset about. Is she an Orthodox or otherwise observant Jew? Because the first haircut thing (at 3, I think) has religious significance for some observant Jews.

But, again, why not just say "We are observant Jews?"

My personal theory is that OP is observant and her family is less so. Her son is in a mainstream secular school, and wants the things his friends have. This is why people choose religious school.

She said yes above.

[Anonymous]

OP, my sister is far more religious than the rest of our family. Recently my 11 year old niece was over and I offered her a cupcake. She asked "is it dairy? I just had meat for lunch". At 13 your son knows the rules. If you never bent them before, he knows that he "shouldn't" have eaten it - it was his choice, and your teachings along the way. If my niece ate that cupcake simply because I offered it and didn't think to ask what she ate for lunch, that wouldn't have been on me. Her education and own choices led her to ask me. Your son chose to eat the ham. I understand why that's frustrating, but the blame is not on the person who offered it.

[Anonymous]

It sucks that your dad is disrespecting your wishes and rules. But I do think the real issue is that your son does not share your values. I think you need to talk to him about the dietary restrictions you feel are important to uphold and why and see how he feels.

[Anonymous]

As any religious leader will tell you, at 13 your son is responsible for his own relationship with G-d.

If he "experiments" with delicious Carolina barbecue, then he will need to reconcile that with his faith and practice at some point, but you can't do it for him and you can't expect everyone in your orbit to police his food choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your father's behavior was inexcusable and boarish.

I see what you did there.

[Anonymous]

CALL THE HAM POLICE !!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"This has been a weirdly entertaining thread. So troll or not, thank you OP for making me chuckle

I so agree.

So kind of you to say despite some of the piggish responses.

#%^ I was scrolling through to see if I could say something about this thread making me want to pig out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"This has been a weirdly entertaining thread. So troll or not, thank you OP for making me chuckle

I so agree.

So kind of you to say despite some of the piggish responses.

#%^ I was scrolling through to see if I could say something about this thread making me want to pig out

The whole thread made me squeal with delight.