Just found out my father gave my son ham during thanksgiving!

[Anonymous]

DS is 13 and has never eaten pork. this would be the second time my parent did something like this. I want to call and tell him that I am pissed and he should respect my wishes. Only problem is I do not want to tart an issue going into the Holidays.

[Anonymous]

This is not a big deal at all. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Is the issue with pork or your father?

[Anonymous]

I don't understand what the problem is. Do you keep kosher?

[Anonymous]

Are you kosher or vegetarians?

[Anonymous]

Is this a religious restriction or a serious allergy?

In that case, I fully concur with your outrage.

But you could *just* have mentioned this in your original post, silly.

[Anonymous]

Your 13-year-old is old enough to determine whether he wants to try something, unless allergy/health issues are in play. He's old enough to say no for religious/cultural reasons if he wants to. The reality is, he wanted to try it--or he wanted to please grandpa--so he made a conscious decision.

I could see where you would be really upset about this if:
a) Health/allergy issues are relevant
b) The child was too young to say no/make an informed decision related to moral/religious/cultural reasons

Talk to your SON about this, not your parents. Recognize that your son may make a decision about what he chooses to eat that is different from what you may want.

[Anonymous]

Did DS eat it willingly? He is 13 after all.

[Anonymous]

He is 13, old enough to make his own dietary decisions.

[Anonymous]

is your son a vegetarian? Is there a religious part to it? Or is it just you don't want him to have pork?

Also what was the other incident? I mean, if you have rules about what DS can and cannot eat and they are kind of random (like no pork) it could be possible that he just forgot.

And at 13 why couldn't your son say...no sorry grandpa I don't eat pork for X reasons. Sounds like you've placed random food restrictions on your son, and as a teenager he's rebelling against them.

[Anonymous]

Are the approaching Holidays you refer to Christmas? Or perhaps Kwanzaa? Hanukkah has passed.

[Anonymous]

Are you a kosher family? Then yes I'd be pissed.

Not sure it will do you any good to complain to the parents. Your son is old enough to make his own decisions and police his own diet. I'd focus on getting him to say no.

Or did the parent sneak it into his food?

[Anonymous]

He's 13. Guess what overly controlling mom? He can now make choices for himself about what he eats. Thats what should likely be addressed if he's eating pork and shouldn't be for religious reasons. Otherwise he's old enough to decide if he wants to try meat (if you've been raising him vegetarian) or other food that you've restricted in the past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the issue with pork or your father?

What do you think?

[Anonymous]

Your son is 13. Why aren't you pissed at him for eating it?