How to deal with a teacher who doesn't want to deal with parents

[Anonymous]

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Not less of a person, no. Read the thread before you get all defensive. But clearly lacking in perspective about the demands placed on those of us in the private sector and how expecting teachers to be client focussed and deal with inane questions and helicopter clients is what most of us call a regular day at the office. Read. Think. Then reply.

Your job in the private sector is to deal with your clients. Your children's teacher's clients are not their parents, it's the children.
Do you deal with the questions of parents of your clients in addition to your clients themselves?

I think your position is crazy. A 3 year old is not qualified to judge or assess anything. Neither is a 10 or 14 year old for that matter. The customers of public education are the parents and guardians. They are also the ones paying the bills. And to stick with your analogy, yes, the executives of my clients who pay the bills and their board members are also my clients, even though my day to day contacts and the consumers of my services are farther down the chain. And I am frequently called on to meet with, counsel and schmooze my client's boards and execs to make sure I manage the holistic relationship.

Bit this is a useful discussion. You think the students are the customers; I think it's the parents and guardians. That probably explains our differing positions.

Crazy PP here. It's my position that the parents are the clients of the school/principal. You chose a school. You did not choose a teacher. That's not up to you. You pay the bills of a school and the principal and vp are the ones that run it. A teacher is something that changes from year to year and sometimes even more than that. A teacher's direct clients and dealings are their students.

That attitude is why public education in DC fails and why Charter Schools thrive. Based on your additional commentary I bet you are vehemently anti-charter. You just don't have the perspective to see that your attitude and approach breed the spread of that which you dislike. Good luck with that. All the best to you and the WTU.

I'm a teacher and I'm "vehemently anti-charter" because know the real reasons charter teachers leave the charter system so quickly, and why charters are happy to/need to employ so many unlicensed young teachers. I would never send my kids to a charter. But the charter issue is another debate, and your comments have only reinforced my suspicion that you know little about education or teaching.

Yep. almost 50% of kids' parents in the city know nothing. Leaves plenty of seats in failing schools to you and your friends. Seems like a good outcome for everyone. You should be thrilled.

[Anonymous]

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14:40 again. Just to give you some perspective, most developed countries have that kind of stay-out mentality. Teaching is left to the professionals, and parents are not welcome in schools, to interfere, distract or even be asked to grade assignments, which is a huge breach of privacy.

As you know, the US is way behind a lot of countries, developed and otherwise, in international high school achievement tests. Looking at the big picture, keeping parents out of schools doesn't hurt.

Good point. OP, when your child is being examined by a doctor, do you feel the need/right to ask the doctor the methods and rationale for his/her approach/procedures and the order of events in the treatment? I'm guessing you probably have confidence in the doctor's expertise, and you understand that the doctor's time is valuable, so he/she is not expected to give you a detailed play-by-play.

At first blush I thought this was ironic. Then I realized you were serious. If I questioned or didn't understand the course of treatment you are damn right I insert myself and ask questions. And if you don't then, respectfully, you aren't doing your job as a parent. The amount of commentary on the importance of managing and owning your own healthcare is staggering.

P.S. You should be an active participant in your own healthcare as well.

You don't understand the point I was attempting to make.

Yes, of course I ask questions if I don't understand the course of treatment. However, I don't expect the doctor to give me a play-by-play on a routine appointment, and I don't need to know what time the doctor is going to process or send off blood work after I leave, or what kind of instruments are in the cabinets, or what brand of cotton swab is being used, etc. My point is that people generally respect the time of other professionals, and they respect the professional's training and expertise, yet for some reason these same people expect teachers to devote much more time to chatter and communication about things that aren't essential and only detract from the time the teacher would otherwise spend planning/teaching. Classroom daily schedules (center times, carpet times, recess times, etc.) are NOT equivalent to a complicated medical treatment that would warrant intense and time consuming communication. They are more the equivalent of listening to a kid's heart during a routine check-up. It enrages me when people treat teachers as domestic staff rather than professionals.

Oh, and if someone else was taking up my doctor's time by asking inane questions about when exactly during a typical routine treatment he would listen to a kid's heart, and why the doctor had photographs of an owl on the wall, and when the doctor planned to update the window treatments in the office, I would hope that the doctor would "discourage communication" with that individual so that time could be spent on doing the things the doctor is trained to do.

I'm a professional. My time is very valuable. I am very, very senior and own a huge P&L (size matters sometimes). And I think my time is valuable. And the people who work for me's time is valuable. And people ask me and my team inane questions all day because we have an expertise they do not and we are relied on to treat them all professionally and respectfully and find ways to make them and their queries feel valuable and relevant. Sometimes I have to push them off for a while but I've never said or heard said about my profession what you assert is true about teachers. And anyone who operated in my org with the attitude espoused above would be counseled to change, and terminated if they couldn't adapt. It amazes me that teachers (and their little parrot supporters) seem to think that they are the only people who get treated like that.

P.S. You picked a bad analogy to make your point. While I respect that you doubled down, you set yourself up for failure with that choice.

No, I didn't pick a bad analogy. You don't understand because you don't respect teachers or what they do; nothing would convince you that what you want from this teacher is not only detrimental to the students (because she should be spending time planning, not answering inane questions about when "center time" is held, or making you feel good about your time-wasting attempts to "help" her). YOU have "set YOURSELF up for failure" with your choice to plow ahead in your disrespectful behavior in the classroom, and you are setting your child up for failure because you are the kind of parent the teacher avoid; the teacher will also avoid stretching your child if there is a chance the child won't like it, and it will bring crazed, huffing, oh-so-important Mama Bear into her classroom. I feel so sorry for your children's teachers.

+1

So in your world teachers are amazing professionals...but not professional enough to avoid punishing kids for their parents' "failures"? I feel sorry for the bulk of great, dedicated, professional teachers who are burdened by "spokespeople" like you who embarrass their profession and make them seem like petty little children with every post like this. Just so we're clear, I'm arguing that teachers are no less professional and capable of managing demanding customers (and make no mistake, when kids are minors and their parents pay the bills, the parents are the customers) than any other professional and that it isn't unreasonable to expect them to engage people at all levels and types and still perform successfully. You and your little friends are arguing that teachers can't handle the same demands that many professionals (or anyone else with a job, really) can handle and that they need to be treated like sensitive children else they will take out their frustration or incompetence or lack of professionalism on minors.

Tell me again which one of us has more respect for the teaching profession?

Let it go. You are digging yourself in deeper. THIS is why the teacher doesn't want to be bothered with you. There is your answer.

That's a cheap and obvious exit you made out the back door, my dear. Tell me why you don't give teachers the same level of respect and expect them to perform as all other professionals must? I do; why don't you.

You can't see the forest for the trees. Self-awareness would do you good. Go out and enjoy the beautiful weather today. I know I am on my way to nice street festival. Come join us!

Would LOVE to, but can't Husband is at H Street Fest while I'm home doing work. You see, I have clients who ask inane questions and demand attention on issues that are beneath me and my expertise, but because these are my clients and customers I need to treat them respectfully and take the time to educate them in a way that doesn't alienate them. Because in my world (outside DCPS) I'd be unemployed if I replied dismissively with the explanation that "I'm a professional" or "I don't do PR" or if I just ignored them. So I'm home today doing work and servicing my clients because my job involves more than just opining on my area of expertise.

But the students are my clients, not you. That is the problem you don't seem to understand. I love to help parents, but my students come first.

[Anonymous]

OP here, love how this thread has gotten way out of hand. Shit, forget I even asked the initial question!

[Anonymous]

Op, you trash her on an Internet forum! That'll teach her to ignore your expertise!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Not less of a person, no. Read the thread before you get all defensive. But clearly lacking in perspective about the demands placed on those of us in the private sector and how expecting teachers to be client focussed and deal with inane questions and helicopter clients is what most of us call a regular day at the office. Read. Think. Then reply.

Your job in the private sector is to deal with your clients. Your children's teacher's clients are not their parents, it's the children.
Do you deal with the questions of parents of your clients in addition to your clients themselves?

I think your position is crazy. A 3 year old is not qualified to judge or assess anything. Neither is a 10 or 14 year old for that matter. The customers of public education are the parents and guardians. They are also the ones paying the bills. And to stick with your analogy, yes, the executives of my clients who pay the bills and their board members are also my clients, even though my day to day contacts and the consumers of my services are farther down the chain. And I am frequently called on to meet with, counsel and schmooze my client's boards and execs to make sure I manage the holistic relationship.

Bit this is a useful discussion. You think the students are the customers; I think it's the parents and guardians. That probably explains our differing positions.

Crazy PP here. It's my position that the parents are the clients of the school/principal. You chose a school. You did not choose a teacher. That's not up to you. You pay the bills of a school and the principal and vp are the ones that run it. A teacher is something that changes from year to year and sometimes even more than that. A teacher's direct clients and dealings are their students.

Then why do principals always tell parents to take their issues to the teacher first (I've never met one who didn't)? Clearly the principal thinks teachers should be working with parents.

[Anonymous]

^^ nope. Principal doesn't want to deal with you guys either. Sh#t rolls downhill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Not less of a person, no. Read the thread before you get all defensive. But clearly lacking in perspective about the demands placed on those of us in the private sector and how expecting teachers to be client focussed and deal with inane questions and helicopter clients is what most of us call a regular day at the office. Read. Think. Then reply.

Your job in the private sector is to deal with your clients. Your children's teacher's clients are not their parents, it's the children.
Do you deal with the questions of parents of your clients in addition to your clients themselves?

I think your position is crazy. A 3 year old is not qualified to judge or assess anything. Neither is a 10 or 14 year old for that matter. The customers of public education are the parents and guardians. They are also the ones paying the bills. And to stick with your analogy, yes, the executives of my clients who pay the bills and their board members are also my clients, even though my day to day contacts and the consumers of my services are farther down the chain. And I am frequently called on to meet with, counsel and schmooze my client's boards and execs to make sure I manage the holistic relationship.

Bit this is a useful discussion. You think the students are the customers; I think it's the parents and guardians. That probably explains our differing positions.

Crazy PP here. It's my position that the parents are the clients of the school/principal. You chose a school. You did not choose a teacher. That's not up to you. You pay the bills of a school and the principal and vp are the ones that run it. A teacher is something that changes from year to year and sometimes even more than that. A teacher's direct clients and dealings are their students.

Then why do principals always tell parents to take their issues to the teacher first (I've never met one who didn't)? Clearly the principal thinks teachers should be working with parents.

Principals - for the most part - are largely useless, overpaid, political bureaucrats. See that stupidly flashy car in the lot? Always the principal's vehicle.

[Anonymous]

As a teacher my client is the tax payer. That is broader category than just the parents of my students.

I have an obligation to provide a FAPE to all of my students and (hopefully) prepare them to be members of society that contribute in a meaningful way.

Genuine parent involvement gets me closer to that goal. Parents that want to talk my ear off about playground politics or what they think might work well in the classroom can take a number.

It is a free market, right? If you do not like what we are getting PLEASE take your kid out my room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a teacher my client is the tax payer. That is broader category than just the parents of my students.

I have an obligation to provide a FAPE to all of my students and (hopefully) prepare them to be members of society that contribute in a meaningful way.

Genuine parent involvement gets me closer to that goal. Parents that want to talk my ear off about playground politics or what they think might work well in the classroom can take a number.

It is a free market, right? If you do not like what we are getting PLEASE take your kid out my room.

I think you misunderstand the way a free market works. Teacher isn't the business owner, they are the service hired help. Oh, DC Teachers, you do so amuse me with your overinflated sense of self and complete misread of the current marketplace. Thanks for the chuckle this morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a teacher my client is the tax payer. That is broader category than just the parents of my students.

I have an obligation to provide a FAPE to all of my students and (hopefully) prepare them to be members of society that contribute in a meaningful way.

Genuine parent involvement gets me closer to that goal. Parents that want to talk my ear off about playground politics or what they think might work well in the classroom can take a number.

It is a free market, right? If you do not like what we are getting PLEASE take your kid out my room.

I think you misunderstand the way a free market works. Teacher isn't the business owner, they are the service hired help. Oh, DC Teachers, you do so amuse me with your overinflated sense of self and complete misread of the current marketplace. Thanks for the chuckle this morning.

Get over yourself and stop projecting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a teacher my client is the tax payer. That is broader category than just the parents of my students.

I have an obligation to provide a FAPE to all of my students and (hopefully) prepare them to be members of society that contribute in a meaningful way.

Genuine parent involvement gets me closer to that goal. Parents that want to talk my ear off about playground politics or what they think might work well in the classroom can take a number.

It is a free market, right? If you do not like what we are getting PLEASE take your kid out my room.

I think you misunderstand the way a free market works. Teacher isn't the business owner, they are the service hired help. Oh, DC Teachers, you do so amuse me with your overinflated sense of self and complete misread of the current marketplace. Thanks for the chuckle this morning.

Get over yourself and stop projecting!

I don't think you understand what "projecting" means. Please add that to the list of topics and terms for you to research. At this point the list includes: "free market", "projecting", "dying teacher's union", "people who undermine their own position and degrade public confidence in their profession every time the open their mouths and pick up their keyboards".

[Anonymous]

She's a great teacher and takes the time to write a weekly newsletter! (She's not a PR firm -- it's a big deal that she invests time in a weekly newsletter.) How much more do you want, OP? This sounds great.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a cultural difference issue?

Come on now, don't go halfway there and stop. Say what you mean!!!

Yeah OP, are you saying she's Canadian!?!!

I'm Canadian and I don't understand what this has to do with anything.

I'm Canadian and I don't get this.

[Anonymous]

OP I would make an appointment for a PT conference. If the teacher pushes back, take it to the principal. Especially if you have concerns for your child. Our teachers (at Barnard and Hearst) have always been great about talking with us about our kid and sharing ideas for activities to do at home to support them. Games to make learning more fun in particular.

[Anonymous]

Wow. I just read this entire thread. I hope OP takes her kid out of that teacher's class so she can focus on the students and not her high maintenance ass. If she makes a stink of it, that's even less time the teacher has to teach the other students. Any parent who would liken themselves to a "client" of the teacher is sitcom batshit crazy. Ain't nobody got time for that!?!?