How to deal with a teacher who doesn't want to deal with parents

[Anonymous]

We have a teacher who pretty much admittedly has made it clear her job is to teach and not deal with parents (who are also NOT allowed in her classroom). This is due in part with over-active parents demands in the past, but she has gone the other way on the pendulum and rarely engages with parents other than a weekly newsletter. I fully recognize that time is sacred for a teacher, but what are effective ways to engage with Ms At Arm's Length? I'd love advice from another teacher on this too if possible.

[Anonymous]

What grade?

[Anonymous]

1st

[Anonymous]

And what kind of school?

[Anonymous]

Confirm directly with the teacher that your understanding of her position is in fact her position. Possible she had a bad day, possible you misunderstood her. If you are correct, go find principal...NOW. In a public and charter school environment where parent engagement is a key to success, where many schools (at least my HRCS) encourage it, that's not acceptable.

P.S. Even my HRCS that generally encourages it doesn't want it for the first few weeks since kids are acclimating.

[Anonymous]

Is this a cultural difference issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Confirm directly with the teacher that your understanding of her position is in fact her position. Possible she had a bad day, possible you misunderstood her. If you are correct, go find principal...NOW. In a public and charter school environment where parent engagement is a key to success, where many schools (at least my HRCS) encourage it, that's not acceptable.

P.S. Even my HRCS that generally encourages it doesn't want it for the first few weeks since kids are acclimating.

Thank you as I feel it takes a partnership with both teacher and parent. She didn't have a bad day as pretty much everyone knows that is her reputation, to which she has even joked about. Tough as she seems to be an effective teacher and DC enjoys the classroom and learning.

[Anonymous]

Funny, my daughter's first grade teacher was kind of like this. She didn't want parent volunteers either. Sometimes I'd send DD in with a note to give the teacher. I always kept it short and succinct.

The teacher had a DD who was my girl's age/grade, plus a new baby and often pumped in her classroom while the kids were elsewhere. Any time I saw her I asked how the baby was doing. Once I gave DD about $10-15 worth of snacks to give her teacher for when she was pumping at school.

I think she was just VERY focused on teaching the kids and didn't want the distraction of parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this a cultural difference issue?

Come on now, don't go halfway there and stop. Say what you mean!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funny, my daughter's first grade teacher was kind of like this. She didn't want parent volunteers either. Sometimes I'd send DD in with a note to give the teacher. I always kept it short and succinct.

The teacher had a DD who was my girl's age/grade, plus a new baby and often pumped in her classroom while the kids were elsewhere. Any time I saw her I asked how the baby was doing. Once I gave DD about $10-15 worth of snacks to give her teacher for when she was pumping at school.

I think she was just VERY focused on teaching the kids and didn't want the distraction of parents.

Focused and approachable and focused and unapproachable are two different things.

[Anonymous]

My child's teacher was like this last year. It was very difficult for parents as she didn't want parents in the room at all.

[Anonymous]

It's an integral part of the job. If she persists, jump straight to the principal's office. Knowing about your DC's education is a top part of your job as parent.

[Anonymous]

The only important thing is that the teacher should be responsive to questions about a child's specific issues. I say this as a parent of a child with special needs. My child needs accommodations and sometimes I need feedback on how these are working, or sometimes there is a crisis and we need to meet urgently.

On the other hand, parents in the classroom are a distraction, more often than not, despite volunteer training. Our elementary school rarely has parents in the classroom, instead there are professional aides who ably second the teachers. Our school won and award last year for most parent volunteer hours, so there are plenty of other ways to get involved.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am just curious about the context. What was going on when you attempted to communicate with the teacher?

In my career as a teacher, there have been a handfull of parents I have attempted to hold at arm's length, and it has always been because they have spoken abusively to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The only important thing is that the teacher should be responsive to questions about a child's specific issues. I say this as a parent of a child with special needs. My child needs accommodations and sometimes I need feedback on how these are working, or sometimes there is a crisis and we need to meet urgently.

On the other hand, parents in the classroom are a distraction, more often than not, despite volunteer training. Our elementary school rarely has parents in the classroom, instead there are professional aides who ably second the teachers. Our school won and award last year for most parent volunteer hours, so there are plenty of other ways to get involved.

This. OP, do you have a specific concern? If not, get out of the way and let the effective teacher do his/her job.