First date sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now if you don't sleep with someone, then you are playing games. Interesting. So getting to know the person before having sex is playing mind games.

No but not sleeping with them because that is the unwritten rule and you gotta play the game to be considered a woman of character?
Listen, not everyone wants to have sex on the first date, not everyone wants to vilify someone for having sex on the first date..

It's not about "villify." It's about understanding that sex is a powerful thing and is best within certain settings.

And yes, most of the time it's better when you have an actual relationship.

Sex is the icing on the cake. Without the actual cake, it's not very substantial.

[Anonymous]

Sex is intimate, very personal. It's just weird to have sex on the first date, unless you're desperate or have no self esteem. I'm not insinuating waiting for marriage, but at least know the dude! You have no idea where he's been. Whatever, fuck who you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sex is intimate, very personal. It's just weird to have sex on the first date, unless you're desperate or have no self esteem. I'm not insinuating waiting for marriage, but at least know the dude! You have no idea where he's been. Whatever, fuck who you want.

I'm on this page and I'm a guy, which is why I'd shy away from someone who'd be interested in first date sex. I'd simply not be trusting of someone who was so casual about it.

But that's just me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The OP hasn't heard from her date, apparently -- which is telling us all we need to know: first day sex often means one-night stand.

Keep trying.

I don't need to "try."

Sex too soon undermines relationships. Not 100 percent of the time, but pretty darn often.

Why are you so invested in this?

Like, damn- you need to chill!

Invested? That was my first post.

But this has been going on for decades. I know our current generation is all fast and loose, but I'm not sure it's going to get them where they want to be.

Current generation- as in not just the ladies.

Sorry, it's not kiss and then get married anymore. Plenty of people hookup and even- gasp- have sex on the first date. Men and women.

x2. Get. Over. It.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The OP hasn't heard from her date, apparently -- which is telling us all we need to know: first day sex often means one-night stand.

Keep trying.

I don't need to "try."

Sex too soon undermines relationships. Not 100 percent of the time, but pretty darn often.

Why are you so invested in this?

Like, damn- you need to chill!

Invested? That was my first post.

But this has been going on for decades. I know our current generation is all fast and loose, but I'm not sure it's going to get them where they want to be.

Current generation- as in not just the ladies.

Sorry, it's not kiss and then get married anymore. Plenty of people hookup and even- gasp- have sex on the first date. Men and women.

x2. Get. Over. It.

I don't have to get over it. I'm not the one who had sex on a first date, then is sitting around my phone desperately waiting for him to contact me.

The OP is apparently the one who has to get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now if you don't sleep with someone, then you are playing games. Interesting. So getting to know the person before having sex is playing mind games.

I met my guy online, we emailed for a bit- then texted throughout the day for a week. We had our first date that lasted 6+ hours, I got to know him before I had sex with him, just because it doesn't fit your ideal doesn't make it wrong from everyone

DI'd he marry you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now if you don't sleep with someone, then you are playing games. Interesting. So getting to know the person before having sex is playing mind games.

I met my guy online, we emailed for a bit- then texted throughout the day for a week. We had our first date that lasted 6+ hours, I got to know him before I had sex with him, just because it doesn't fit your ideal doesn't make it wrong from everyone

DI'd he marry you?

planning the wedding for later this year, it was an obvious match and our first date went on for over 24 hours. Do I think sleeping with someone on the first date is always a great idea? no! But in some cases it isn't what some of you posters are insinuating. We knew we really liked each other and found something great and I never had a doubt in my mind on how my guy viewed me for having sex on the first date. That doesn't always happen but it doesn't mean it can't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A healthy attitude is recognizing people aren't defined by when they choose to have sex. You are welcome to call women "easy," but understand I'll assume you have serious hang ups.

Like I said, you're free to ignore the realities of society or claim that they're not so. But they are. Whether you like it or not.

If you sleep with a man of the first date it colors his opinion of you in a certain way. More often than not, it won't be positive. Close your eyes and stomp your feet all you want.

Not stomping my feet. I'm very happy with my guy, and our healthy sex life. I'm not looking to find someone with hang ups. Why doom myself to boring sex for the rest of my life?

[Anonymous]

Op, did he call?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now if you don't sleep with someone, then you are playing games. Interesting. So getting to know the person before having sex is playing mind games.

I met my guy online, we emailed for a bit- then texted throughout the day for a week. We had our first date that lasted 6+ hours, I got to know him before I had sex with him, just because it doesn't fit your ideal doesn't make it wrong from everyone

DI'd he marry you?

planning the wedding for later this year, it was an obvious match and our first date went on for over 24 hours. Do I think sleeping with someone on the first date is always a great idea? no! But in some cases it isn't what some of you posters are insinuating. We knew we really liked each other and found something great and I never had a doubt in my mind on how my guy viewed me for having sex on the first date. That doesn't always happen but it doesn't mean it can't

Texting throughout the day for a week must have meant that you did get to know the guy pretty well before the first date. He wasn't really a stranger. Other people who had a lasting relationship after first-date sex may have known each other somewhat before then too -- knew them from school, from work, through friends, etc. It could seem unselective on both people's part if they had sex after the first date with a total stranger, not knowing details of health, relationship history, relationship goals, etc. I wonder if some of the first-date sex leading to long-term relationships was between people who already knew each other to some extent, not complete strangers who just met in a bar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Texting throughout the day for a week must have meant that you did get to know the guy pretty well before the first date. He wasn't really a stranger. Other people who had a lasting relationship after first-date sex may have known each other somewhat before then too -- knew them from school, from work, through friends, etc. It could seem unselective on both people's part if they had sex after the first date with a total stranger, not knowing details of health, relationship history, relationship goals, etc. I wonder if some of the first-date sex leading to long-term relationships was between people who already knew each other to some extent, not complete strangers who just met in a bar.

You might have a point there- I met a guy at a bar, who was mutual friends with an acquaintance, slept with him that night. We dated for almost two years but he always joked about how I "gave it up" on the first date... This guy was a jerk for many reasons so in hindsight I should have seen it coming

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: This guy was a jerk for many reasons so in hindsight I should have seen it coming

Yet you still had sex with him and continued to have sex with him.

[Anonymous]

OP probably is kid posting for givgles?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: This guy was a jerk for many reasons so in hindsight I should have seen it coming

Yet you still had sex with him and continued to have sex with him.

I didn't realize he was such a jerk, even though it should have been obvious. That is why I mentioned hindsight dude, it took a long time to see it and I blame myself a lot for being naive. waiting for a few weeks to have sex with him would not have spared me the drama, that is my point

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: This guy was a jerk for many reasons so in hindsight I should have seen it coming

Yet you still had sex with him and continued to have sex with him.

I didn't realize he was such a jerk, even though it should have been obvious. That is why I mentioned hindsight dude, it took a long time to see it and I blame myself a lot for being naive. waiting for a few weeks to have sex with him would not have spared me the drama, that is my point

A few months of dating would have, though.