First date sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call him. If not for something serious, then for a good time. I slept with my now husband on the second date. Fuck dating rules

Please don't. Have some self-dignity.

[Anonymous]

Well you shot yourself in the foot. Now what. You have to put out each time or risk him not calling. How do you manage this relationship from now on. How can you be sure, he wants to get to know you rather than to just sleep with you. Definately don't call. If he doesn't even call after your wild night, just forget him.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I've had situations where first/early date sex turned into a very serious relationship, and I've had situations where first/early date sex meant I never saw the guy again. It can really go either way, depending on the guy and the connection you have.

I also had one situation where early sex led to an accidental pregnancy, which I really don't recommend, because it completely screwed up the relationship. (which had been going well, before we found out.)

I would let him contact you.

[Anonymous]

Let's be clear. Women are generally the gatekeepers when it comes to sex. It's a reality, and is what creates what many see as a double standard.

A woman who allows man to screw her on a first date has announced that she's pretty lax in the gatekeeping department, and while the man may enjoy the sex (and even come back for more) he's less likely to see her as a potentially reliable long term partner. I mean, if she'd sleep with HIM at the drop of a hat, what makes him think she'd not sleep with any other dude after just a few hours. Men might like to date "easy" women. They don't really want to marry them.

Now you can all howl about how this isn't fair, but it is what it is. You can pretend it isn't the case but you're only fooling yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's be clear. Women are generally the gatekeepers when it comes to sex. It's a reality, and is what creates what many see as a double standard.

A woman who allows man to screw her on a first date has announced that she's pretty lax in the gatekeeping department, and while the man may enjoy the sex (and even come back for more) he's less likely to see her as a potentially reliable long term partner. I mean, if she'd sleep with HIM at the drop of a hat, what makes him think she'd not sleep with any other dude after just a few hours. Men might like to date "easy" women. They don't really want to marry them.

Now you can all howl about how this isn't fair, but it is what it is. You can pretend it isn't the case but you're only fooling yourself.

No, people with a healthier attitide about sex don't feel that way. In my experience, they're also more relaxed and adventurous sexual partners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never sleep with someone on the first date, as it's just a notch on his belt and he lost all respect for you. Pls post and let us know how this worked out for you.

Fuck that noise. My DH and long term ex both started after having sex on the first date. Your advice is bullshit.

Exactly.

+ 1, except my ex and current boyfriend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's be clear. Women are generally the gatekeepers when it comes to sex. It's a reality, and is what creates what many see as a double standard.

A woman who allows man to screw her on a first date has announced that she's pretty lax in the gatekeeping department, and while the man may enjoy the sex (and even come back for more) he's less likely to see her as a potentially reliable long term partner. I mean, if she'd sleep with HIM at the drop of a hat, what makes him think she'd not sleep with any other dude after just a few hours. Men might like to date "easy" women. They don't really want to marry them.

Now you can all howl about how this isn't fair, but it is what it is. You can pretend it isn't the case but you're only fooling yourself.

No, people with a healthier attitide about sex don't feel that way. In my experience, they're also more relaxed and adventurous sexual partners.

Why do you think that "healthy attitude" equals having sex early on. I love how you use "healthy attitude" as a justification for promiscuity. Some of us believe that "healthy attitude" means waiting until marriage. You don't get to define "healthy" for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never sleep with someone on the first date, as it's just a notch on his belt and he lost all respect for you. Pls post and let us know how this worked out for you.

Why would he lose respect for her? He did the same thing.

Yes but she is the one who cares
And is obviously worried about it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's be clear. Women are generally the gatekeepers when it comes to sex. It's a reality, and is what creates what many see as a double standard.

A woman who allows man to screw her on a first date has announced that she's pretty lax in the gatekeeping department, and while the man may enjoy the sex (and even come back for more) he's less likely to see her as a potentially reliable long term partner. I mean, if she'd sleep with HIM at the drop of a hat, what makes him think she'd not sleep with any other dude after just a few hours. Men might like to date "easy" women. They don't really want to marry them.

Now you can all howl about how this isn't fair, but it is what it is. You can pretend it isn't the case but you're only fooling yourself.

No, people with a healthier attitide about sex don't feel that way. In my experience, they're also more relaxed and adventurous sexual partners.

Why do you think that "healthy attitude" equals having sex early on. I love how you use "healthy attitude" as a justification for promiscuity. Some of us believe that "healthy attitude" means waiting until marriage. You don't get to define "healthy" for everyone.

A healthy attitude is recognizing people aren't defined by when they choose to have sex. You are welcome to call women "easy," but understand I'll assume you have serious hang ups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A healthy attitude is recognizing people aren't defined by when they choose to have sex. You are welcome to call women "easy," but understand I'll assume you have serious hang ups.

Like I said, you're free to ignore the realities of society or claim that they're not so. But they are. Whether you like it or not.

If you sleep with a man of the first date it colors his opinion of you in a certain way. More often than not, it won't be positive. Close your eyes and stomp your feet all you want.

[Anonymous]

If you really like someone, and you connect on a lot of levels- why wouldn't you want to see if you have a sexual connection as well? Why does that make women easy? Just because she know what she wants, why should she play the waiting game, like she is reeling in a bass and doesn't want to spook it.

All these up tight posters are also probably folks who are in marriages where they are not sexually compatible (for some people that is really important no matter how much you shame them...)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A healthy attitude is recognizing people aren't defined by when they choose to have sex. You are welcome to call women "easy," but understand I'll assume you have serious hang ups.

Like I said, you're free to ignore the realities of society or claim that they're not so. But they are. Whether you like it or not.

If you sleep with a man of the first date it colors his opinion of you in a certain way. More often than not, it won't be positive. Close your eyes and stomp your feet all you want.

There are plenty of people who that wouldn't be the case- namely, not assholes...
but keep buying into the judgmental crap and saying it is gospel

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A healthy attitude is recognizing people aren't defined by when they choose to have sex. You are welcome to call women "easy," but understand I'll assume you have serious hang ups.

Like I said, you're free to ignore the realities of society or claim that they're not so. But they are. Whether you like it or not.

If you sleep with a man of the first date it colors his opinion of you in a certain way. More often than not, it won't be positive. Close your eyes and stomp your feet all you want.

There are plenty of people who that wouldn't be the case- namely, not assholes...
but keep buying into the judgmental crap and saying it is gospel

NP - I have to agree with "it colors his opinion of you in a certain way" statement though. Whether we like it or not, it's the reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A healthy attitude is recognizing people aren't defined by when they choose to have sex. You are welcome to call women "easy," but understand I'll assume you have serious hang ups.

Like I said, you're free to ignore the realities of society or claim that they're not so. But they are. Whether you like it or not.

If you sleep with a man of the first date it colors his opinion of you in a certain way. More often than not, it won't be positive. Close your eyes and stomp your feet all you want.

There are plenty of people who that wouldn't be the case- namely, not assholes...
but keep buying into the judgmental crap and saying it is gospel

NP - I have to agree with "it colors his opinion of you in a certain way" statement though. Whether we like it or not, it's the reality.

if you like a dude, and he acts like this... not worth worrying about- life is too short to deal with judgmental assholes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A healthy attitude is recognizing people aren't defined by when they choose to have sex. You are welcome to call women "easy," but understand I'll assume you have serious hang ups.

Like I said, you're free to ignore the realities of society or claim that they're not so. But they are. Whether you like it or not.

If you sleep with a man of the first date it colors his opinion of you in a certain way. More often than not, it won't be positive. Close your eyes and stomp your feet all you want.

There are plenty of people who that wouldn't be the case- namely, not assholes...
but keep buying into the judgmental crap and saying it is gospel

Let's just say that as a younger man many of my friends occasionally banged someone on the first date. Never once did I hear any of them talk about how much they respected them, nor did they pursue serious relationships with them. (Now on cue go ahead and tell me how my friends were all pigs, but they are in fact just regular guys who went on to have families and careers.)

Now, if a woman is just interested in a roll in the hay or casual fling, sure, why not? But if you're looking at someone as a potential long term mate, then don't screw him on night one. He WILL see you differently. I guarantee. it.