Moms of boys....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many of you are overly sensitive. I was a tomboy growing up. I played basketball with the boys in the neighborhood. And I played safety and wide receiver on an all woman's football team in Arlington. I tell my son all the time to stop crying or acting like a weak little girl when he doesn't want to do something.

Whatever. OP correct your child, but don't use your PC to correct my child. You do not have my permission on this score. And if you do it without my permission, expect reciprocity with your kids in areas that you disagree.

Why do you tell your son to stop crying/acting like a weak little girl? He is not a girl. Why not tell him to stop crying/acting like a weak little boy?

Because I have found it more effective when getting my point across. He used to always talk about the girls crying and whining at play time over the smallest of things. So, I took something that he found silly and use(d) it as a motivating factor. It hasn't always worked, but the majority of the time it has hit its mark.

Aha. So he already had a low opinion of girls, and you use that, because it works to get him to do what you want, sometimes. Why didn't I think of that?

No, he does not have a low opinion of girls. But he did notice they were the ones always crying on the playground.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about this, then?

"Son, stop being a misogynist dumbass like PP's son."

How abou this, "son don't grow up and marry a twat like PP. if you do, you are in for a world of misery full of nagging and judging."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG. I am 45 and I played competitive soccer. I beat all the boys in the Presidential Fitness thing---in every event. I played Division 1 soccer. Though--I liked make-up and fashion. I had an older brother and a sister.

AND...I'm the first one to use the 'cry like a girl', etc. I don't even think about it when I say it...or the irony that I am female. I guess growing up it was an insult to be told that but if you were a gifted athlete nobody would ever accuse of doing anything like a girl. In fact, I was told I don't 'run like a girl' and I took great pride in that growing up.

I have 5 nephews (teens and 20s) and I have two boys myself. My nephews would tell my boys 'not to be a momma's boy' if they cried over something.

Frankly, I personally HATED that television ad with the 'run like a girl', 'throw like a girl' because I think they should have used top women athletes..not girls that couldn't run. My kids and I busted out laughing at one of the girls because she had the worst running form ever.

I like being a woman. But- I don't go around looking for something to take 'offense' at constantly.

When even Jerry Seinfeld finds college campuses too liberal and politically correct---it is time America lightens the f*ck up!!

It's a shame you were or are a gifted athlete, but not very self aware or bright.

Give me a break. I have a PhD in Biochemistry so I guarantee I am brighter than you.

I also have no shame in admitting that the women's World Cup is not as exciting as the Men's. The game is so much slower. The skill and athleticism isn't the same.

I don't think voicing that in any way takes away my enjoyment of playing the sport at a level only 1% of girls in the world ever get a chance to do.

Get over yourselves, Sisters.

I read this post and all I hear is "me, me, me, me, me". A bit inner focused, are we Sister?

[Anonymous]

Op is a troll. She actually has girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many of you are overly sensitive. I was a tomboy growing up. I played basketball with the boys in the neighborhood. And I played safety and wide receiver on an all woman's football team in Arlington. I tell my son all the time to stop crying or acting like a weak little girl when he doesn't want to do something.

Whatever. OP correct your child, but don't use your PC to correct my child. You do not have my permission on this score. And if you do it without my permission, expect reciprocity with your kids in areas that you disagree.

Why do you tell your son to stop crying/acting like a weak little girl? He is not a girl. Why not tell him to stop crying/acting like a weak little boy?

Because I have found it more effective when getting my point across. He used to always talk about the girls crying and whining at play time over the smallest of things. So, I took something that he found silly and use(d) it as a motivating factor. It hasn't always worked, but the majority of the time it has hit its mark.

Aha. So he already had a low opinion of girls, and you use that, because it works to get him to do what you want, sometimes. Why didn't I think of that?

No, he does not have a low opinion of girls. But he did notice they were the ones always crying on the playground.

He doesn't have a low opinion of girls, it's just that he thinks that girls cry (and boys don't) and has been taught to believe that crying is a sign of babyish/girlish) weakness. Gotcha.

[Anonymous]

We haven't had this case, but if one of my kids' friends said that I would tell him we do not allow that phrase in our home just as I would tell them we don't allow name-calling if they did that.

I agree with PPs that it's not just about teaching respect for girls, it's also trying to mindwash boys into "acceptable" behavior and expression. My boys are on the opposite ends of the sensory spectrum -- older DS is very sensitive and younger DS is extremely rough and tumble and unphased by a little bit of (his own) bloodshed. So I have a lot of experience with people being very negative towards DS1 and constant comments of "he should play football" about DS2 since he was 2yo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about this, then?

"Son, stop being a misogynist dumbass like PP's son."

How abou this, "son don't grow up and marry a twat like PP. if you do, you are in for a world of misery full of nagging and judging."

Ha!! So true.

The goddamn princesses and the girls gotta run and take your daughters to work..blah, blah, blah. Meanwhile- women outnumber men 60-40 at Universities nationwide.

It's so damn tiresome that we want to castrate the males every chance we get.

Congratulations we almost have a completey androgynous society.

[Anonymous]

I wish we did have an androgynous society, where people can be who they are instead of who society expects boy/girls/men/women to be. But don't worry, PP -- we don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It has been interesting to read through all the responses! Not at all surprised it turned into name-calling.

I'm going to keep correcting my sons. I'll also correct other children who use that language in my house. I'll just stick with "Hey - we don't say this in our house." My house, my rules. If the other boys (or their parents) have problems with that, they can play somewhere else.

It did make me stop and think re: PP's comment about Redskins. As you can probably guess, I do dislike that term immensely... and I think it is embarrassing that the name hasn't been changed yet. We don't buy anything with that logo on it, yet it never dawned on me to say something to others who are wearing it. I wonder what this says about me?

It says that you have the sense and maturity to realize that you are not captain of the Morality Police and that reasonable people can disagree on this issue

A reasonable person and a racist can agree to disagree, I suppose.

When you have to resort to name-calling you are no longer reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not just an insult to girls, at it's heart, when a boy is accused of playing like a girl, crying like a girl, being a momma's boy, etc., it's shaming him for having qualities that are perceived as feminine (not being good at sports, being sensitive, being affectionate with family). These kind of statements are inherently misogynistic and homophobic. And then we wonder why men can't express their feelings as adults or feel like they have to posture as macho men. So it's about boys and girls and what roles we allow them to fill or not fill.

There are ways to correct or teach others' kids without appearing as Joey's killjoy feminist mother. I.e., watch me throw the ball Joey and friends, pretty good for a girl, hah. You can use a sense of humor or touch base with your kid later and discuss it. It doesn't have to be a call out in the middle of the field.

The PP's using the old politically correct, college campus, lighten up excuses are not saying anything new.

+1,000,000

This PP really gets it.

Yup. This is the key point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It has been interesting to read through all the responses! Not at all surprised it turned into name-calling.

I'm going to keep correcting my sons. I'll also correct other children who use that language in my house. I'll just stick with "Hey - we don't say this in our house." My house, my rules. If the other boys (or their parents) have problems with that, they can play somewhere else.

It did make me stop and think re: PP's comment about Redskins. As you can probably guess, I do dislike that term immensely... and I think it is embarrassing that the name hasn't been changed yet. We don't buy anything with that logo on it, yet it never dawned on me to say something to others who are wearing it. I wonder what this says about me?

It says that you have the sense and maturity to realize that you are not captain of the Morality Police and that reasonable people can disagree on this issue

A reasonable person and a racist can agree to disagree, I suppose.

When you have to resort to name-calling you are no longer reasonable.

racist is an actual thing, that actual people are. being called racist when someone is being racist isn't "name calling", it's stating a fact. or at least a perception of the facts. I'm not pp, by the way, just someone who thinks it's a bit rich that you are comfortable with redskins, but not with you yourself "being called a name".

[Anonymous]

Crying to get your way is the type of reinforced learned helplessness that mothers of girls implicitly and explicitly seem to condone on a regular basis. I am a NP and mother of 3 boys. I will continue to denigrate the behavior of crying to get one's way- be it from a male or female. I will never nurture victim behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Crying to get your way is the type of reinforced learned helplessness that mothers of girls implicitly and explicitly seem to condone on a regular basis. I am a NP and mother of 3 boys. I will continue to denigrate the behavior of crying to get one's way- be it from a male or female. I will never nurture victim behavior.

Hear! Hear! Very well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Crying to get your way is the type of reinforced learned helplessness that mothers of girls implicitly and explicitly seem to condone on a regular basis. I am a NP and mother of 3 boys. I will continue to denigrate the behavior of crying to get one's way- be it from a male or female. I will never nurture victim behavior.

Hear! Hear! Very well said.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Crying to get your way is the type of reinforced learned helplessness that mothers of girls implicitly and explicitly seem to condone on a regular basis. I am a NP and mother of 3 boys. I will continue to denigrate the behavior of crying to get one's way- be it from a male or female. I will never nurture victim behavior.

Excuse me, I don't nurture crying as a "victim behavior" but I also don't invalidate the feelings that caused the crying. I don't care whether we are talking about boys or girls, they are entitled to feelings, they are entitled to cry when they are hurt, and sometimes they need help understanding that having their feelings hurt isn't the same and being physically hurt.