This is ridiculous, all the way around. The aunt shouldn't have been involved in the party and absolutely shouldn't have been trying to sell any of those things to 11 year old girls. The mom should have known better, and if she wanted to host a party to help her sister, aim it at her adult friends and coworkers, not all the 11 year olds in her daughter's school. OP should have called and clarified that yes, it was a sales party and politely given her rsvp as a no, possibly even saying that she didn't appreciate her DD being invited to a sales party in the guise of a birthday. OP was well within expectations to quietly talk to her friend, but should have explained the situation, given that she knows the friend and presumably knows that she would fly off the handle. All the parents that did the nasty emails should definitely not have done so, a single email each to the host mom expressing disgust and stating that their daughter wasn't going to come would have been sufficient. Host mom should have cancelled the sales party when she realized that most people weren't going to come, either had her DD pick a different theme or rescheduled for a different day and arranged to have one item per close friend (and not invited all the girls who weren't friends with her DD). The kids at school shouldn't have been teasing birthday girl, birthday girl should try to make the best of the situation. There's a lot of blame to go around, but it doesn't fix the situation. Kudos to OP's DD for commiserating with the girl, but just because she asked OP if she can go, doesn't mean she should. Personally, if this kindles a friendship between the two girls, I would offer to take the girls somewhere the Saturday following the party, their choice of destination. If this situation doesn't kindle a friendship, DD could still give the girl a gift at school on Friday before the party. |