Mary Kay Bday party for 11 yr old girl?

[Anonymous]

Maybe I've forgotten but how were you supposed to know to send your child with money? Or was the MK lady simply going to take their orders and then deliver and ask their parents for money in a week or two?

Very unfortunate for the birthday girl!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please, please post one of the replies from the mother. I have to know how she defended this craziness.

I can't bring myself to post them verbatim but basically my mom friend fired off an email that said to the effect please don't send out invites to a kids bday party that are really home sale parties. Then went on to talk about how rude, disrespectful and wrong this was. Follow up emails from other parents started and they said how this was a terrible thing and shameful, some said they would never send their kid to such a party, how terrible home party sales were, which companies were really bad and why they were bad and then how terrible the parents were to exploit children.

The host mom then sent an email about how she was just tying to give her DD a fun bday party and no one was obligated to buy anything. This went back and forth with parents pointing out that there would be pressure to buy. Then host mom said she thought it was terrible that everyone was sitting on their "f*ing pedestals" and passing judgement on her and her family and how her sister had fallen on hard times and wouldn't anyone do the same to help a family member by hosting a party to help her start her business, how upset her DD was and was hiding in her room, and how people go to hell for acting this way, and also threw in some more F bombs here and there and then lastly mentioned a couple moms by name who had been pretty mean in their emails that if they had a problem with her that she was free to meet up with her outside at drop off in the morning. So far no showdown has occurred though.

^^ I just posted, then read some of the more recent posts. Yes, I think it's tacky, but it also sounds like these "mom friends" seriously mobbed this one woman and really shamed and humiliated her and her daughter. Shame on them, too - being abusive is worse than being tacky.

[Anonymous]

She SHOULD be ashamed. She didn't have the good sense to be ashamed on her own, so her social group stepped in and did it for her. That's what living in a society does, it imparts values and rules (formal and informal) on you. When you step out of line on them, there are consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So tacky. I went to one of these when I was in high school (way back in the very early 90s). It was billed as a makeover party, but then we were hit up to buy stuff afterward. It was so awkward. We were all like 15 years old, didn't have any money, and the MK lady was hovering around hoping for sales from a bunch of kids. The mom/host bought a bunch of stuff for her daughter, whose party this was, and she did it in front of us in a really showy way to encourage us to buy, which just made it all worse.

As opposed to sending an e-mail to the host to tell the host that the planned party was rude, disrespectful, and wrong?

I didn't read that until after I posted - I had only read the OP. Before reading your email, PP, I posted just above. To re-state, yes, I think attacking the hostess was cruel and a far worse sin than hosting a sales party. We do not disagree.

This kind of mobbing and drama sickens me. I don't like MLMs at all but would just decline the party, send a gift, and go about my business. This kind of s--t, I tell DH, is why I have more guy friends than female friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She SHOULD be ashamed. She didn't have the good sense to be ashamed on her own, so her social group stepped in and did it for her. That's what living in a society does, it imparts values and rules (formal and informal) on you. When you step out of line on them, there are consequences.

You sound like exactly the sort of punitive, self-righteous, authoritarian creep who burned witches at the stake, tortured heretics, and stones women under Sharia law. Just amazing. Re-read your post, you wacko.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She SHOULD be ashamed. She didn't have the good sense to be ashamed on her own, so her social group stepped in and did it for her. That's what living in a society does, it imparts values and rules (formal and informal) on you. When you step out of line on them, there are consequences.

You sound like exactly the sort of punitive, self-righteous, authoritarian creep who burned witches at the stake, tortured heretics, and stones women under Sharia law. Just amazing. Re-read your post, you wacko.

whoah..harsh.

imo this was a sneaky move by the girl's mom and i'm not surprised there was backlash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would let her go and give Her 10 dollars to buy something if she chooses.

The idea was that girls would purchase "goody bags" at the party with some of the stuff used during makeovers. The lowest priced one was $35.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She SHOULD be ashamed. She didn't have the good sense to be ashamed on her own, so her social group stepped in and did it for her. That's what living in a society does, it imparts values and rules (formal and informal) on you. When you step out of line on them, there are consequences.

You sound like exactly the sort of punitive, self-righteous, authoritarian creep who burned witches at the stake, tortured heretics, and stones women under Sharia law. Just amazing. Re-read your post, you wacko.

Or the kind of punitive, self-righteous, authoritarian creep who shames people for smoking around kids, punishes those who speed in a school zone, or wants laws enforced that get criminals hard sentences? Yep, I'll cop to that. Different time and situations, but whether you like it or not, what I said is true - societies set standards and use shame and punishment to enforce them. Using a kid's birthday party as a sales opportunity is a taboo in most of our social groups, and the mom is receiving the consequences of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She SHOULD be ashamed. She didn't have the good sense to be ashamed on her own, so her social group stepped in and did it for her. That's what living in a society does, it imparts values and rules (formal and informal) on you. When you step out of line on them, there are consequences.

You sound like exactly the sort of punitive, self-righteous, authoritarian creep who burned witches at the stake, tortured heretics, and stones women under Sharia law. Just amazing. Re-read your post, you wacko.

Or the kind of punitive, self-righteous, authoritarian creep who shames people for smoking around kids, punishes those who speed in a school zone, or wants laws enforced that get criminals hard sentences? Yep, I'll cop to that. Different time and situations, but whether you like it or not, what I said is true - societies set standards and use shame and punishment to enforce them. Using a kid's birthday party as a sales opportunity is a taboo in most of our social groups, and the mom is receiving the consequences of that.

So you take satisfaction in shaming people, and you pride yourself on that. You use the excuse of social norming to justify your pleasure in shaming and punishing others.

We are very different, you and I.

[Anonymous]

You're comparing a Mary Kay birthday party to smoking, speeding, and mandatory minimum sentences?

I wouldn't do that.

[Anonymous]

Every single MLM manual spells out approaches like this, whether it's an event at your day job's lunchroom, festival booth, etc. So the aunt probably thought she was following MK protocol. All judgement flies out the window when you're bombarded with these precise instructions for gaining exposure: posting your card or catalogs in public places, spamming your fb friends, coercing friends to host gatherings.

[Anonymous]

Are 11 year old girls already wearing makeup?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are 11 year old girls already wearing makeup?

I sure hope not. Seems really early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every single MLM manual spells out approaches like this, whether it's an event at your day job's lunchroom, festival booth, etc. So the aunt probably thought she was following MK protocol. All judgement flies out the window when you're bombarded with these precise instructions for gaining exposure: posting your card or catalogs in public places, spamming your fb friends, coercing friends to host gatherings.

this is why MLMs suck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm saying don't follow-up something that is tacky with something much tackier - rudeness. You can just simply decline and maybe say cosmetics are too mature for your daughter right now.

I agree with you in general, but these sales really get to me, and I am angry on behalf of the birthday girl, whose party the aunt co-opted.
So I would be saying something quite blunt.

To make the b-girl feel even worse.
Would I do this for my 11 year old -- HELL NO! But if we already accepted, I would let my kid go. I would also probably have asked the aunt exactly what they were doing with the girls. They are probably doing satin hands and facial cleanser. The most makeup may be lip gloss. My kid can try on some lipgloss, I can live with that for one day.
Not like they are teaching her to slide down a pole.