Mary Kay Bday party for 11 yr old girl?

[Anonymous]

Please, please post one of the replies from the mother. I have to know how she defended this craziness.

[Anonymous]

So tacky.

I feel terrible for the birthday girl! I hope she realizes that the reason so many girls aren't coming to her party has nothing to do with not liking her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please, please post one of the replies from the mother. I have to know how she defended this craziness.

Yes! Please share!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well I am glad this isn't a trend.

The whole thing blew up via email. I mentioned this to a mom I am friends with yesterday and asked if she had read the email/got the call. She had not but I guess went home read the email and figured it out and then fired off an angry email late last night to pretty much the whole grade about soliciting business at little kid parties and how wrong this was, etc. I didn't expect her to go off like that and I wish I had said nothing. Then again when she figured it out, she likely would have had the same reaction. Lots of emails back and forth with plenty of parents upset. It seems like a lot of girls won't be attending. The mom hosting fired back via email and was pretty nasty in her replies.

Bottom line - our DD is not going and I simply sent a thanks for the invite but dd can't make it and told my DD we made other plans that day. She seemed ok with it and I said if she really wanted to do a make over we could do something over the summer.

Well, it's not like you forwarded an email to her that she was never supposed to see---she got it too! And it sounds like a bunch of mom's need to thank her for doing what they wish they had the balls too, LOL. I feel bad for the little girl though =(

[Anonymous]

Feel terrible for the little girl. Hope some of these moms invite her over for a playdate.
And, honestly, while the bday mom clearly fouled up majorly, I can't 100% blame her for getting nasty after the other mom called her out in an email to the entire grade. I don't think that sort of public humiliation was necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feel terrible for the little girl. Hope some of these moms invite her over for a playdate.
And, honestly, while the bday mom clearly fouled up majorly, I can't 100% blame her for getting nasty after the other mom called her out in an email to the entire grade. I don't think that sort of public humiliation was necessary.

I agree. Given the choice between

Inviter: Please come to a Mary Kay birthday party where my sister(-in-law) will try to sell cosmetics to your 11-year-old.
Respondent: That is an incredibly tacky thing, and I can't believe you're trying to take advantage of my child, you piece of work!

and

Inviter: Please come to a Mary Kay birthday party where my sister(-in-law) will try to sell cosmetics to your 11-year-old.
Respondent: Thank you for the kind invitation, but unfortunately we have other plans for that day and time.

I much prefer the second response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feel terrible for the little girl. Hope some of these moms invite her over for a playdate.
And, honestly, while the bday mom clearly fouled up majorly, I can't 100% blame her for getting nasty after the other mom called her out in an email to the entire grade. I don't think that sort of public humiliation was necessary.

I totally agree with this.

The parents of the other kids have no real idea if the birthday girl's mom was truly "in on it" and part of some nefarious sales plot, or if she just naively caved in to an overbearing, boundary-free sister who pushed the makeover party idea on her, or worse, offered a cute idea for a party to mom and mom didn't realize aunt was going to push products for sale. People just can't know, yet want to assume the worst. And a kid pays for it.

So ugly that one mom had to fire off a nasty e-mail. Even if the birthday mom was nasty in reply, the ugliness was started by that mom who saw fit to slam her to everyone[i] in a form easy to pass along and keep the drama alive -- the low road, for sure.

These girls are old enough that they are all going to pick up on this, including the birthday girl. She is either going to be furious with all her friends or she's going to be crushed and feel like she's been made a fool of...by her mom, her aunt, her friends and their parents.

[Anonymous]

I would let her go and give Her 10 dollars to buy something if she chooses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please, please post one of the replies from the mother. I have to know how she defended this craziness.

I can't bring myself to post them verbatim but basically my mom friend fired off an email that said to the effect please don't send out invites to a kids bday party that are really home sale parties. Then went on to talk about how rude, disrespectful and wrong this was. Follow up emails from other parents started and they said how this was a terrible thing and shameful, some said they would never send their kid to such a party, how terrible home party sales were, which companies were really bad and why they were bad and then how terrible the parents were to exploit children.

The host mom then sent an email about how she was just tying to give her DD a fun bday party and no one was obligated to buy anything. This went back and forth with parents pointing out that there would be pressure to buy. Then host mom said she thought it was terrible that everyone was sitting on their "f*ing pedestals" and passing judgement on her and her family and how her sister had fallen on hard times and wouldn't anyone do the same to help a family member by hosting a party to help her start her business, how upset her DD was and was hiding in her room, and how people go to hell for acting this way, and also threw in some more F bombs here and there and then lastly mentioned a couple moms by name who had been pretty mean in their emails that if they had a problem with her that she was free to meet up with her outside at drop off in the morning. So far no showdown has occurred though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would let her go and give Her 10 dollars to buy something if she chooses.

The idea was that girls would purchase "goody bags" at the party with some of the stuff used during makeovers. The lowest priced one was $35.

[Anonymous]

Isn't drama supposed to be a middle-school thing? Maybe it's infectious? I have a middle-schooler; I guess I'd better watch for signs and symptoms in myself!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please, please post one of the replies from the mother. I have to know how she defended this craziness.

Then host mom said she thought it was terrible that everyone was sitting on their "f*ing pedestals" and passing judgement on her and her family and how her sister had fallen on hard times and wouldn't anyone do the same to help a family member by hosting a party to help her start her business, how upset her DD was and was hiding in her room, and how people go to hell for acting this way, and also threw in some more F bombs here and there and then lastly mentioned a couple moms by name who had been pretty mean in their emails that if they had a problem with her that she was free to meet up with her outside at drop off in the morning. So far no showdown has occurred though.

no. just no. not by using 11 year old girls. it's not okay to put other parents and their daughters in a difficult situation like that under the guise of a 'birthday party' and i don't believe for a moment there would be no pressure to buy.

I feel really sad for the b'day party girl - it's not her fault her mother and aunt are idiots. but really, they brought this on themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please, please post one of the replies from the mother. I have to know how she defended this craziness.

I can't bring myself to post them verbatim but basically my mom friend fired off an email that said to the effect please don't send out invites to a kids bday party that are really home sale parties. Then went on to talk about how rude, disrespectful and wrong this was. Follow up emails from other parents started and they said how this was a terrible thing and shameful, some said they would never send their kid to such a party, how terrible home party sales were, which companies were really bad and why they were bad and then how terrible the parents were to exploit children.

The host mom then sent an email about how she was just tying to give her DD a fun bday party and no one was obligated to buy anything. This went back and forth with parents pointing out that there would be pressure to buy. Then host mom said she thought it was terrible that everyone was sitting on their "f*ing pedestals" and passing judgement on her and her family and how her sister had fallen on hard times and wouldn't anyone do the same to help a family member by hosting a party to help her start her business, how upset her DD was and was hiding in her room, and how people go to hell for acting this way, and also threw in some more F bombs here and there and then lastly mentioned a couple moms by name who had been pretty mean in their emails that if they had a problem with her that she was free to meet up with her outside at drop off in the morning. So far no showdown has occurred though.

Host mom sounds like a real piece of work. In one breath, she says no one is obligated to buy anything and in the next she gives a sob story about her sister having fallen on hard time. You can't have it both ways lady, obviously there was going to be some pressure to buy.

While I probably would have taken a passive aggressive approach myself, because I'm awful like that (Hi Jane, I'm confused and just want to make sure everything is clear - is this a party where Mary Kay items will be sold? Are we supposed to send our girls to the birthday party with money to buy from your sister? Thanks for clarifying.) - I do not agree with those who are down on the mom that called her out. Host Mom was pretty underhanded about this, and maybe we need a little bit more calling out when people act atrociously. Maybe people would think twice if they knew they might get some blowback from violating social norms.

Host Mom offering to fight after drop-off is priceless. Clearly shows you what kind of person you're dealing with.

[Anonymous]

So tacky. I went to one of these when I was in high school (way back in the very early 90s). It was billed as a makeover party, but then we were hit up to buy stuff afterward. It was so awkward. We were all like 15 years old, didn't have any money, and the MK lady was hovering around hoping for sales from a bunch of kids. The mom/host bought a bunch of stuff for her daughter, whose party this was, and she did it in front of us in a really showy way to encourage us to buy, which just made it all worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So tacky. I went to one of these when I was in high school (way back in the very early 90s). It was billed as a makeover party, but then we were hit up to buy stuff afterward. It was so awkward. We were all like 15 years old, didn't have any money, and the MK lady was hovering around hoping for sales from a bunch of kids. The mom/host bought a bunch of stuff for her daughter, whose party this was, and she did it in front of us in a really showy way to encourage us to buy, which just made it all worse.

As opposed to sending an e-mail to the host to tell the host that the planned party was rude, disrespectful, and wrong?