Manners 101 - what is important to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone ever feel that an OP could start a thread "I really like blue, it's a nice color" and people would still find a way to twist it so that OP is an unhinged, uneducated asshole?

Why is that such a trend here?

Yes, and the trend is there because the PPs who are attacking her are monumentally, and I mean MONUMENTALLY, insecure. It's kind of sad.

And like totally over the age of fourteen! Hags!

[Anonymous]

ciaojenny wrote:What specific manners or points of etiquette are important to you? Anything you wish more people would remember or any "old school" manners you would like to make a comeback?

I started thinking about this when speaking to a friend about how gentlemanly my husband is and how I was taken aback by this when we first met. It comes very natural to him and I hope it will to our boys. I also want our girls to see this as a reflection of a man's character and not of hers - whether she is attracted to gentleman qualities or not. He is also white collar and business etiquette is very important to him, I admire that about him.

As for manners that are important to me, I find people who are habitually late extremely rude and self centered. I also wish people dressed up more and took more pride in their appearance. I don't care if you are a prep or a psychobilly, you can wear clean clothing and comb your hair. Put on an actual pair of pants to go to the grocery store, things like that. Also prompt correspondence, people are so easily accessible today yet are not, you know? Table manners are a pet peeve of mine too, slurping and slouching. Wearing a hat at the table or leaving a huge mess when at a restaurant. Whenever I host a party or guests in our home, I always try to adhere to proper etiquette because I think it enhances my guests experience without them even noticing. I could go on, but I am interested in hearing what others think. Its also funny to me, sometimes some of the wealthiest and most "society" people I know day to day are actually ruder than others who are not considered a part of that "circle".

Haha, I am sure I sound very uptight, I am not. I don't want 1940s Emily Post here, I just think we've lost a great deal of simple etiquette that would go a long way in our society. Also I am sure I do something that is considered poor manners to someone else, this is a very subjective subject.

Good grief. Yes, you do sound very uptight. And judgmental.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

ciaojenny wrote:I find people who are habitually late extremely rude and self centered.

I think it depends on the reason - I have really horrible time awareness (I have ADHD) and struggle to transition from on thing to another, which often makes me late. For someone who thinks, "oh, it's no big deal if I'm 15 minutes late" and plans accordingly, that is rude. I am often a couple minutes late but it's because I have a harder time knowing how long something will take. I try to plan in cushions for myself (work backwards, if I think it will take me 15 minutes to get ready I start getting ready 30 mins before) but it still doesn't always work. Especially with 2 little ones.

No. It actually doesn't depend on the reason. you are aware of it. Plan accordingly.

My wish for you is that you never loose your typical sense of time. Unless you are someone who has a brain difference that impacts how you perceive time you could gain from realizing people are different. I understand and do plan accordingly, but most people can accurately judge he passing of 5 minutes and that is a challenge for me and others with ADHD.

http://www.pediastaff.com/blog/worth-repeating-tips-to-help-develop-time-awareness-for-individuals-with-adhd-13421

Oh christ on crutches, now we have to worry about offending someone who perceives time differently? What do we have time privilege?

You do realize unless someone is pointing out one particular snowflake they are usually just talking about snow in general, right? Or is there some syndrome that keeps people from understanding that?

Yes, haven't you heard of Time Challenged Syndrome? Good grief, people. Just aim to be on time. No one's perfect, but there are also people who are late every single time; and that's just not acceptable. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone ever feel that an OP could start a thread "I really like blue, it's a nice color" and people would still find a way to twist it so that OP is an unhinged, uneducated asshole?

Why is that such a trend here?

In this particular case, no. OP started a thread stating what she considered to be good manners. This is a discussion board. As such, a discussion ensues. There are no guarantees that everyone will agree with OP's opinion. In OP's OP made some statements that could be considered bad manners (i.e. judging people based on appearance which is totally subjective). I also don't recall anywhere in the thread where OP was called an unhinged uneducated asshole (now that would be bad manners). It's just that some PPs disagreed with OP's opinion and found her statements ironic given the subject matter.

Thank you. This is how I feel too. What drives me up a wall are the posters who start a thread by announcing their opinion about something, and then proceed to lay down "ground rules" for how the rest of the thread is going to go. No one may disagree or post a counter-opinion of any kind. If they do, they are labeled "trolls" and "thread-disrupters". As you pointed out, this is a (public) discussion board and if a someone throws out an ignorant, rude, or uninformed opinion, they'd better be prepared for some irritated responses. If you plan on offending someone, be prepared to be offended right back.

[Anonymous]

I consider not switching -- or putting on silent - your phones during performances downright nasty. If you're so important you have to be on call 24/7, silence your phone and let it go to voice mail.
Another annoyance is glowing screens when people text in a dark auditorium. Ugh!