Playdates... so annoying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never ASSUME that a playdate would include lunch. I would pack a lunch to send with my child and then him or her eat it at the friend's home when the friend eats their lunch.

I think it is highly RUDE of a parent to pick up their child later than agreed upon. That would be the end of that person's playdates.

And yes, it is inconsiderate to never host a playdate, however perhaps the other child's home is not clean, large enough, not safe, etc.

You just never ever know.

I would think it was pretty weird if a child shows up at my house for a scheduled play date with a lunch in a lunch box. I mean, please. I can feed the kids lunch if the scheduled time includes the lunch hour.

I'd assume the kid has allergies if he brought a lunch but then I always clarify with parents if the kid should eat lunch before the playdate if it's going to be near lunchtime. But I also always let the kids have a snack if it's not lunch. I assume they'll eat at some point.

Definitely very rude not to pick up on time. I wouldn't necessarily a ban a kid completely based on that. If it's one of my kids favorite friends then I just make sure to plan time when I didn't need a firm end time or tell the parent I'll drop Larla off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I would never ASSUME that a playdate would include lunch. I would pack a lunch to send with my child and then him or her eat it at the friend's home when the friend eats their lunch.

I think it is highly RUDE of a parent to pick up their child later than agreed upon. That would be the end of that person's playdates.

And yes, it is inconsiderate to never host a playdate, however perhaps the other child's home is not clean, large enough, not safe, etc.

You just never ever know.


I would think it was pretty weird if a child shows up at my house for a scheduled play date with a lunch in a lunch box. I mean, please. I can feed the kids lunch if the scheduled time includes the lunch hour.

Eh, I'm happy to feed kids that come for play dates, but if a kid is a really picky eater, then I'd rather the parent send a lunch then me have to keep asking to find one of the few things a kid might actually eat. It's fine.

This.

DD daughter is off the charts picky and I do my best not to make it another mom's headache. I feed her before she goes to play dates. If she'll be there during meal hours I'll send her with lunch (unless the mom is familiar with DD's eating issues and specifically offers to feed her). I can imagine DD being in a friend's kitchen and saying "No thank you" to a long list of offered food. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

OP- how old was the play date guest?

[Anonymous]

This "lunch during playdate" issue intrigues me. It implies the parents are not talking before hand, and ironing out all these issues before the playdate begins. There should not be any guess work going on as to what will be happening with your child at the other parents home. For the parent who sent their child over during lunch time at the flakey parents home...what should have been said before the playdate was this: "My child needs to eat at 'xyz' time, which is during the playdate, will you be feeding them lunch, should I send a lunch sack with her, or should we schedule a later time?"

ALWAYS have everything worked out before the playdate. Leave nothing to assumptions.

[Anonymous]

I only arranged playdates which were enjoyable to all, that is, with a child my kids liked and a parent/caregiver I liked as well. That reduced the number of playdates *drastically* and kept us all SANE

[Anonymous]

I always offer food if I am hosting. I always feed my kids before a play date. If play date was 11-2, I would assume they would feed my kid but just in case, I will feed him big snack at 10:30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just need to vent...

Why are playdates so annoying? I feel like I'm always arranging playdates for my kids, but its rarely reciprocated. I don't want to hear "we're busy" because I'm busy, too. I work and my kids have activities 6 out of 7 days a week. We have a lot going on all of the time, but I manage to find pockets of time for playdates.

Then, I scheduled a playdate and specifically told the parent that they needed to pick at a 4pm because we had a violin lesson at 4:30. The playdate started at 1:30, so it was plenty of time for the kids to play. The parent shows up late. WTF... complete disregard for my schedule. And to top it off the playdate comes over at 1:30 and asks "what's for lunch." My DD says that she already ate lunch. She said she didn't eat lunch yet and her dad was going to "kill her if she didn't eat lunch here." We gave her a sandwich, but who sends a kid over to someone else's house at 1:30 without feeding them first?

And, on the flip, my DD goes to her friends house for a playdate which her mom scheduled from 11am to 2pm. I assumed they would feed my DD lunch, since that is the typical time for lunch. Nope. I should never assume anything. My DD came home cranky and starving. She had a popsicle in all of 3 hours. Next time I will surely ask if lunch will be offered otherwise I will need to pick up.

Its just all of these inconsiderate parents that make playdates so annoying!! I'm so sick of it. I will be taking a break from hosting playdates for awhile.

I don't even care that much that I am always hosting because at least I am monitoring what my kids are doing and who they are hanging out with. And I know where they are. But it would be nice for my kids to get invited sometimes, too.

So annoying!!!

Im already seeing some of this too. We have hosted every single play date. The parents seems happy to drop their kids off, they always tell us the kids have fun, we run into kids and they always ask to come over and play. But never has anyone reciprocated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just need to vent...

Why are playdates so annoying? I feel like I'm always arranging playdates for my kids, but its rarely reciprocated. I don't want to hear "we're busy" because I'm busy, too. I work and my kids have activities 6 out of 7 days a week. We have a lot going on all of the time, but I manage to find pockets of time for playdates.

Then, I scheduled a playdate and specifically told the parent that they needed to pick at a 4pm because we had a violin lesson at 4:30. The playdate started at 1:30, so it was plenty of time for the kids to play. The parent shows up late. WTF... complete disregard for my schedule. And to top it off the playdate comes over at 1:30 and asks "what's for lunch." My DD says that she already ate lunch. She said she didn't eat lunch yet and her dad was going to "kill her if she didn't eat lunch here." We gave her a sandwich, but who sends a kid over to someone else's house at 1:30 without feeding them first?

And, on the flip, my DD goes to her friends house for a playdate which her mom scheduled from 11am to 2pm. I assumed they would feed my DD lunch, since that is the typical time for lunch. Nope. I should never assume anything. My DD came home cranky and starving. She had a popsicle in all of 3 hours. Next time I will surely ask if lunch will be offered otherwise I will need to pick up.

Its just all of these inconsiderate parents that make playdates so annoying!! I'm so sick of it. I will be taking a break from hosting playdates for awhile.

I don't even care that much that I am always hosting because at least I am monitoring what my kids are doing and who they are hanging out with. And I know where they are. But it would be nice for my kids to get invited sometimes, too.

So annoying!!!

Im already seeing some of this too. We have hosted every single play date. The parents seems happy to drop their kids off, they always tell us the kids have fun, we run into kids and they always ask to come over and play. But never has anyone reciprocated.

Yep, same here. I don't get what's going on w/the parents who don't help arrange or host. If my 5 year old weren't an only child and desperate for playmates (none in our neighborhood), I wouldn't try so hard. Also: parents that assume that we are including a younger sibling. No, sorry -- I don't want to babysit your 3 year old while the older kids play. Recently a mom said, "I assume you want X to stay home, yeah?" I almost cried tears of joy.