Teenage son just told me he is suicidal and depressed......

[Anonymous]

My parents had similar beliefs about psychiatric medications and refused to consider "drugging" my depressed teenage brother.

So he started self-medicating. Alcohol, pot, cocaine, prescription painkillers, pretty much anything he could get his hands on. For all my parents' worries about the effect of anti-depressants on his brain chemistry, what effect do you think THOSE had? The irony is sickening. He's a young adult now and has managed to quit the hard stuff (he went on psych meds as soon as he turned 18 and they couldn't have any say in it) but he still drinks like a fish.

And he harbors enormous resentment toward my parents for not getting him proper treatment. He's moved thousands of miles away and has as little to do with them as possible.

They thought they knew what he needed. They were terribly mistaken. That he made it to 25 without killing himself is almost pure luck. Please don't make the mistake of thinking that you know exactly what your son needs, what he will do, what he's thinking. If he's 17, I guarantee you don't. Get him help right now before he digs himself a hole he can't get out of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot for the life of me imagine a therapist who would not think a teen who is depressed and expressing the desire to commit suicide needs medication. Just stunned.

Aside from the fact that his life is at risk -- and I understand this whole idea that you ask if they have a plan to determine if its "real" but teens who commit suicide are far more impulsive than adults. The whole "he doesn't have a plan" thing is a false sense of security. But there is something else. Depression is both caused by and alters brain chemistry. Medication treats it because it is a medical disorder. And untreated depression alters brain chemistry so that it becomes more difficult to treat, especially in a teen whose brain is still developing. The decisions you are making now will alter his life. You need to do everything you possibly can to get on top of this situation.

I'm a mother of a child who became dangerously depressed and the difference with meds was so striking that I can't imagine allowing that kind of suffering to continue when there is treatment available. trust me, we tried therapy. It did absolutely nothing until we treated the medical disorder.

OP, I think you think your MD is enough here but you really truly need to take your DS to a psychiatrist, not a simple therapist. You won't, of course. you seem dug in. This "one day" when he may need meds has already come.

My apologies if I am not clear, I'm the OP. He sees a psychiatrist, whom I refer to as a therapist. He is able to prescribe medications, but whatever the two speak about, he doesn't believe they are necessary. I am not "dug in" into any one treatment, this is my first born child. I am open to ANYTHING that he needs to help him be happy and fulfilled. I am also mindful enough that I am not the cause of his depression anymore than I could be the cure of it. I will do absolutely anything to help him. I will however, defer to the experts on this one, not a stranger on a forum. I was hoping to get support on the issue from a parenting perspective, not treatment options, suggestions or insistence on whatever treatment worked for a friend of friend or whatever. I know it's hard but just simple, "we tried to go out more as a family" or "we took more trips just the two of us to connect" or "we allowed them freedom or restrictions of x".

[Anonymous]

Take him to the Dr. And get him on medication. Make him take it or give him an ultimatum if he doesn't. Med's will help and find a therapy group that is around his age.

Maybe change his school if you need too or get him a mentor that someone he could hang around with and inspire him to become happier and more active.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take him to the Dr. And get him on medication. Make him take it or give him an ultimatum if he doesn't. Med's will help and find a therapy group that is around his age.

Maybe change his school if you need too or get him a mentor that someone he could hang around with and inspire him to become happier and more active.

Wow. Stop already! Her son is seeing a therapist. He is getting proper care. The EXPERT (which you are not, despite of what you might think) does not see the need to medicate right now. Clearly the son is behaving in a way that drugs don't seem right at this point...which is amazing seeing how quickly any doctor will prescribe anti depressants these days! Maybe...just maybe...drugs are not always the answer?! Wow.