I am feeling resentful and jealous, but mostly RESENTFUL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP-
To me, the vacation really isn't the issue.

The issue here is that you have two small children who will grow up before you know it and indoor think it's fair to them to have their sick grandmother living with them when you are her primary caregiver. This is about them. My mom was one of 8, but her elderly mom spent a lot of time loving with us when I was young. She died at 98 when I was in 5th grade. When she was with us, it was very hard for my mom to take us to our activities, etc because she couldn't leave her mom for very long. Your boys soon will have a lot of activities, as well.

It was also very hard on my parent'a marriage.

My advice is to find a better respite care for her. You can't go on living like this.

This is beyond the call of duty.

OP again. I don't know about your circumstances when you were a child, but my preschooler has plenty of extra curricular activities outside of preschool. If anything, I think he is a little over scheduled

In out day to day life the only HUGE change (besides the care for her in itself) is that now we can't just go out as a family (say, to have brunch or go apple picking) without calling someone before to come stay with her; but so far I never had any problem finding someone available.

As an update, I found someone that I trust to come and stay with her for this mini vacation [b]BUT my husband thinks it would be nice for him to go alone with preschooler so I will just let them go alone. I can just stay home and take this opportunity to have one on one time with the baby for extra bonding

okay. BUT what do you think? Why is it all based on what he wants and what he thinks? You are the one that wanted to go to Legoland with your kid, not your husband. So why does he get to go because he wants alone time with the preschooler? The dynamics of this whole thing seems off to me. If it is important to you and you are the one that found care to make this happen, why does he get to go out and have fun because that is what he prefers. You don't say what you prefer. You just put the smiley face like you are fine with it but don't say that that is what YOU want. I can imagine you presenting this same brave face to family and neighbors at a party but really that is not what you want.

[Anonymous]

Yeah the dynamics seems like your husband makes unilateral decisions based on what he wants and does not take your opinions or needs into consideration.

[Anonymous]

Op again to answer the last couple of posters. I won't lie and say I don't want to go, but I'm ok sitting this one out because as I said in my op, I have taken MANY vacations with my child alone before - either because he couldn't go due to work or because he didn't want to go to am specific place.

Also, we compromised that we will take a family vacation later this year.

Thanks again to everyone for the feedback.

[Anonymous]

OP: I didn't read the entire thread and I can sort of understand DH's hesitation to a temp caregiver but remember, you can nanny-cam your house.

WiFi cameras are pretty cheap and good. My mom did end of life care for the very old and she was good at it. People who do that for a living come in two flavors, good and bad but the good ones almost take it as a calling.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I would wonder if your husband is cheating on you-why does he insist on going with son alone to Legoland? esp. when this can be an oppertunity for a family vacation? He can always spend time with and bond with pre-scholer! He sounds like a selfish ass! I would also demand more respite or let him wipe his own mothers ass! He is asking way to much from you and taking advantage!