Cold feet ever since I got engaged and wedding is this weekend!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your responses. I tossed and turned all night mulling this over. We do love each other, despite my misgivings. Everyone is already is town, including over half the guests who came all the way from from Europe. I'm getting married tomorrow. All I know is today and not whether my fiance will be a raging, abusive drunk in a few months or years. At my age of 34, I'm going into this with my eyes and heart wide open. I'll keep y'all updated.

Birth control, my dear!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its a done deal now. But I bet OP will look this thread up in a couple of years, when she has 2 kids and say .. (its always the wonderful ones who get you pregnant right away so you can NEVER leave ...)

I'm going to take pp's advice and wait a few years before we have kids. Even my therapist says marry him.

[Anonymous]

Apparently angry engagements are a thing
http://jezebel.com/5135639/rites-of-passage-throwing-your-engagement-ring-in-anger

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its a done deal now. But I bet OP will look this thread up in a couple of years, when she has 2 kids and say .. (its always the wonderful ones who get you pregnant right away so you can NEVER leave ...)

I'm going to take pp's advice and wait a few years before we have kids. Even my therapist says marry him.

Honestly, I question any therapist you would tell you what to do either way, rather than helping you sort through your feelings and come to your own conclusion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its a done deal now. But I bet OP will look this thread up in a couple of years, when she has 2 kids and say .. (its always the wonderful ones who get you pregnant right away so you can NEVER leave ...)

I'm going to take pp's advice and wait a few years before we have kids. Even my therapist says marry him.

Honestly, I question any therapist you would tell you what to do either way, rather than helping you sort through your feelings and come to your own conclusion.

I would normally agree but my therapist said to try it out and then decide. I have financial fall backs: a good career, my own house, and a pre-nup is things are a total catastrophe. And I have emotional supports like friends and family. Let's do this thing!

[Anonymous]

ok guys gotta run to my spa day with my wedding party. Wish me the best!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its a done deal now. But I bet OP will look this thread up in a couple of years, when she has 2 kids and say .. (its always the wonderful ones who get you pregnant right away so you can NEVER leave ...)

I'm going to take pp's advice and wait a few years before we have kids. Even my therapist says marry him.

Honestly, I question any therapist you would tell you what to do either way, rather than helping you sort through your feelings and come to your own conclusion.

I would normally agree but my therapist said to try it out and then decide. I have financial fall backs: a good career, my own house, and a pre-nup is things are a total catastrophe. And I have emotional supports like friends and family. Let's do this thing!

Try out a marriage? Now I'm hoping you're a troll, because that's a seriously incompetent therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ok guys gotta run to my spa day with my wedding party. Wish me the best!

I wish you the best of luck with your future divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your responses. I tossed and turned all night mulling this over. We do love each other, despite my misgivings. Everyone is already is town, including over half the guests who came all the way from from Europe. I'm getting married tomorrow. All I know is today and not whether my fiance will be a raging, abusive drunk in a few months or years. At my age of 34, I'm going into this with my eyes and heart wide open. I'll keep y'all updated.

Best of luck OP, because you are really going to need it

Well, we tried.

As for the "guests coming from Europe" part, that is just amusing.
As if the guests coming from Europe makes the marriage itself so important. Guess what--your wedding guests will be annoyed down the road that they travelled all this way for a marriage that quickly fell apart. And that they went through the hoopla of celebrating your union with gifts, toasts, and other aspects of the celebration.
By the way, I've loved someone who I thought was the person I'd marry. He ended up breaking it off with me (actually by cheating) which was for the best since I believed in the power of my love to bring out the best in him. I wouldn't have wanted to ever leave a relationship with a person I loved so much and felt was my true companion. But now I'm happily married to someone so much better, and better for me. There are other fish in the sea....millions of them.
(And also, it seems that 90% of PPs who had pre-wedding jitters said that they were right in the end)
But since you are determined to go through with it, we can't offer you any advice now. But I find it interesting to her from the PPs so I hope the thread doesn't die out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ok guys gotta run to my spa day with my wedding party. Wish me the best!

I wish you the best of luck with your future divorce.[/quote

Yes. Enjoy being a single mom and don't sell your house!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You mentioned pre-Cana so if you are Catholic....use reliable birth control if you end up getting married. I would advise any friend of mine whose SO screamed at them to get out of the relationship. Do not marry him as it will only get worse. My first marriage involved emotional abuse that escalated to physical. I had cold feet but I ignored it and Catholicism didn't help.

Catholics might be less likely to get a divorce so I definitely wouldn't suggest going through with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your responses. I tossed and turned all night mulling this over. We do love each other, despite my misgivings. Everyone is already is town, including over half the guests who came all the way from from Europe. I'm getting married tomorrow. All I know is today and not whether my fiance will be a raging, abusive drunk in a few months or years. At my age of 34, I'm going into this with my eyes and heart wide open. I'll keep y'all updated.

Birth control, my dear!!!

I'd get an IUD, you need something really effective that can't be sabotaged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its a done deal now. But I bet OP will look this thread up in a couple of years, when she has 2 kids and say .. (its always the wonderful ones who get you pregnant right away so you can NEVER leave ...)

I'm going to take pp's advice and wait a few years before we have kids. Even my therapist says marry him.

Honestly, I question any therapist you would tell you what to do either way, rather than helping you sort through your feelings and come to your own conclusion.

I would normally agree but my therapist said to try it out and then decide. I have financial fall backs: a good career, my own house, and a pre-nup is things are a total catastrophe. And I have emotional supports like friends and family. Let's do this thing!

Try out a marriage? Now I'm hoping you're a troll, because that's a seriously incompetent therapist.

Yeah. MUD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your responses. I tossed and turned all night mulling this over. We do love each other, despite my misgivings. Everyone is already is town, including over half the guests who came all the way from from Europe. I'm getting married tomorrow. All I know is today and not whether my fiance will be a raging, abusive drunk in a few months or years. At my age of 34, I'm going into this with my eyes and heart wide open. I'll keep y'all updated.

Birth control, my dear!!!

PP here and I'm feeling badly about my snarkiness. Tomorrow is your wedding day, for better or for worse -- so, best of luck to you, OP.

[Anonymous]

NP. Since the issue is decided I'll not offer advice. I'll just wish the OP best of luck. Despite the histrionics in this thread your marriage is not automatically doomed.

Take care of yourself OP.