Cold feet ever since I got engaged and wedding is this weekend!

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[Post New]02/27/2015 07:34
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Don't do it. You can always set a new date if your feelings change.


I think if my feelings change, it would still cause irreparable harm to our families and our relationship to put off the wedding at the last minute.


Your family is not getting married -- you are. they will get over it -- it is just a big party. For you, it is a lifetime event.
[Post New]02/27/2015 07:37
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I like the advice of waiting a long time before we have kids. We have our pre-nups, pre-canaan and weekly therapy sessions so we have a lot of support structures in place if/when things go bad. I'm really worried about a general lack of respect and civility.

Oh honey.


+1
[Post New]02/27/2015 07:39
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Anonymous
NP here. I had cold feet leading up to my wedding and I should have listened to my feet (sorry for mixed metaphor). Listen to yours.
[Post New]02/27/2015 07:41
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Anonymous
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your responses. I tossed and turned all night mulling this over. We do love each other, despite my misgivings. Everyone is already is town, including over half the guests who came all the way from from Europe. I'm getting married tomorrow. All I know is today and not whether my fiance will be a raging, abusive drunk in a few months or years. At my age of 34, I'm going into this with my eyes and heart wide open. I'll keep y'all updated.
[Post New]02/27/2015 07:43
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Anonymous
Had cold feet and went through with it because I was ashamed to admit that I wasn't ready for such a big step even though The man I was marrying was a very good person who loved me a lot. We ended up divorced 6 months later. Listen to your gut OP...marriage is a thousand times harder than dating and you have to enter into it with both sides giving 100%
[Post New]02/27/2015 07:44
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your responses. I tossed and turned all night mulling this over. We do love each other, despite my misgivings. Everyone is already is town, including over half the guests who came all the way from from Europe. I'm getting married tomorrow. All I know is today and not whether my fiance will be a raging, abusive drunk in a few months or years. At my age of 34, I'm going into this with my eyes and heart wide open. I'll keep y'all updated.



Stupid, stupid, stupid.

OP - Thanks for wasting our time.
[Post New]02/27/2015 07:45
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your responses. I tossed and turned all night mulling this over. We do love each other, despite my misgivings. Everyone is already is town, including over half the guests who came all the way from from Europe. I'm getting married tomorrow. All I know is today and not whether my fiance will be a raging, abusive drunk in a few months or years. At my age of 34, I'm going into this with my eyes and heart wide open. I'll keep y'all updated.


Best of luck OP, because you are really going to need it
[Post New]02/27/2015 07:46
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Don't do it. You can always set a new date if your feelings change.


I think if my feelings change, it would still cause irreparable harm to our families and our relationship to put off the wedding at the last minute.


I don't know where to start this is so wrong. Get married so you don't disappoint your family? Really? So they would be willing to sacrifice your well being? I think you should definitely be brave and disappoint them.
[Post New]02/27/2015 07:49
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your responses. I tossed and turned all night mulling this over. We do love each other, despite my misgivings. Everyone is already is town, including over half the guests who came all the way from from Europe. I'm getting married tomorrow. All I know is today and not whether my fiance will be a raging, abusive drunk in a few months or years. At my age of 34, I'm going into this with my eyes and heart wide open. I'll keep y'all updated.



Stupid, stupid, stupid.

OP - Thanks for wasting our time.


Why are you so invested in this? Surely you must know people come to online forums to waste time. Are you the fiance?
[Post New]02/27/2015 07:49
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Dont do it. My mom bitterly regrets that she didnt listen to her prewedding jitters. She was afraid she would be embarrassed to call it all off. Trust me, getting a divorce is way more embarassing


+1

I regret not calling off our wedding. I knew it was not right then, and I certainly know it now - two kids, 18 years later. Your family is wrong to dismiss your concerns - they should be working with you to understand them.

Do not marry unless you are 100% sure. Even if calling it off entails a lot of money and embarrassment.

[Post New]02/27/2015 07:51
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I like the advice of waiting a long time before we have kids. We have our pre-nups, pre-canaan and weekly therapy sessions so we have a lot of support structures in place if/when things go bad. I'm really worried about a general lack of respect and civility.


18-year married PP here. Believe me when I tell you this: A general lack of respect and civility gets worse with time. Much, much worse. Horrible in fact. And the effects are exponentially worse when you add kids to that mix.
[Post New]02/27/2015 07:53
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your responses. I tossed and turned all night mulling this over. We do love each other, despite my misgivings. Everyone is already is town, including over half the guests who came all the way from from Europe. I'm getting married tomorrow. All I know is today and not whether my fiance will be a raging, abusive drunk in a few months or years. At my age of 34, I'm going into this with my eyes and heart wide open. I'll keep y'all updated.


Please use birth control for a good long time.
[Post New]02/27/2015 07:57
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Anonymous
I would really stop and listen to some of these ladies who posted who lived this. Chilling.
[Post New]02/27/2015 07:57
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Anonymous
Its a done deal now. But I bet OP will look this thread up in a couple of years, when she has 2 kids and say .. (its always the wonderful ones who get you pregnant right away so you can NEVER leave ...)
[Post New]02/27/2015 07:58
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Its a done deal now. But I bet OP will look this thread up in a couple of years, when she has 2 kids and say .. (its always the wonderful ones who get you pregnant right away so you can NEVER leave ...)


I was thinking the same thing.
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