All Second Wives are awesome

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm. I've never wanted to be second at anything in life. Thankfully, I met a hot, smart and successful 25-year old when I was the same age. Both our salaries went through the roof in the first 5 years of our marriage.

My DH despises non-ambitious, non-intelligent women. Pretty gold-digger proof. You can spot then a mile away.

Lots of young attractive and intelligent women who are very accomplished that are available for the successful older man. Why settle for the older woman who is well past her prime in terms of looks and on a descending trajectory when there is the alternative of an attractive younger woman?

Would a big age difference be a hindrance to having enough in common to build a lasting relationship?

There is no way in hell I could tolerate someone even 10 years younger than me for very long. If you have a lot in common with people 20 years your junior, you may want to check your maturity level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funniest part of this thread by far is the delusional ranting of the "first wives." Yeah sure honey, whatever it takes for you not to recognize that as men move into middle age, they make a shit ton more money and generally get more attractive (outliers aside). Meanwhile you you wrinkle up and get more bitter and angry. If I were a married woman with kids and a reasonably good life I'd get very realistic about my "free market" options as compared to my husband's, and act accordingly. That might help some of you avoid the angry solitude evident in the posts of some of these old chickens.

Why do you care? Why is it so important to you? Who are you trying so hard to convince?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Funniest part of this thread by far is the delusional ranting of the "first wives." Yeah sure honey, whatever it takes for you not to recognize that as men move into middle age, they make a shit ton more money and generally get more attractive (outliers aside). Meanwhile you you wrinkle up and get more bitter and angry. If I were a married woman with kids and a reasonably good life I'd get very realistic about my "free market" options as compared to my husband's, and act accordingly. That might help some of you avoid the angry solitude evident in the posts of some of these old chickens.

Not all men. The mediocre majority of men age, just like women, make average money and are deathly afraid to be alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women don't age well so there is that plus to the younger second wife.

Guys may not age well if they don't take care of themselves but they have a shit-load more money which, believe it or not, lots of younger women find immensely attractive. Guys are drawn to attractive women and sex and women are drawn to a guy with money. Both are shallow in their own way in terms of their priorities.

If a woman is a single mother with younger children and primary custody, the problems finding another guy are compounded many fold which is why you have all those threads in the relationship forum on where to meet eligible guys if one is a single mother.

Not all guys make more money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm. I've never wanted to be second at anything in life. Thankfully, I met a hot, smart and successful 25-year old when I was the same age. Both our salaries went through the roof in the first 5 years of our marriage.

My DH despises non-ambitious, non-intelligent women. Pretty gold-digger proof. You can spot then a mile away.

Lots of young attractive and intelligent women who are very accomplished that are available for the successful older man. Why settle for the older woman who is well past her prime in terms of looks and on a descending trajectory when there is the alternative of an attractive younger woman?

Because attractive younger women are more likely to go for successful younger men. Older men pick what's left after younger men paired up with younger women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a second wife. My DH left his ex-wife for me. We didn't start seeing each other until after he had moved out of their home and the marriage was rocky at that point. However, he ultimately left her for me.

I hate to break it to some of you bitter ex-wives, but life turned out just fine for us. We got custody of both of my stepchildren when they were 4 and 7. They are adults now. I have a great relationship with both of them. They consider this "home". Their mother wasn't abusive. She wasn't a drug user or an alcoholic. We were just able to show the judge that it would be in best interest of the kids to live with us. The Guardian ad Litem assigned to our case recommended we get custody and that pretty much won the case for us. She got every other weekend and four weeks during the summer.

So...contrary to what many of you might want to believe, life is pretty damn good. Money is not an issue. We are not paying any child support at all. We did pay child support for two years ($2,700 a month in Georgia), but that gravy train stopped when we got custody of the kids. We were able to successfully blend our families - I had two, he had two, we have one together. They are all very close and consider each other brothers and sisters in every way because they were raised together. And we've been married over 20 years.

My advise as an ex-wife who was royally screwed by an ex-husband. Let go of the anger and bitterness. Life goes on. You don't have to forgive. But holding onto anger only hurts you and your children. tse

Something about this storyt doesn't add up.

A modern judge ((in a not-backwater county in the South who is not golfing partners with the divorcing father)) would NEVER award basically sole custody of a 4 year old when a healthy, mentally sharp, non-parolee mother is arguing for some equal share of custody.

Your life might be all roses, but your backstory seems off. At least in 2015 outside of honey boo boo land

This was in 14 years ago in Atlanta, Georgia. Not "backwater county" at all. And we didn't get sole custody. My DH and his ex had joint legal custody, but he had primary physical custody. It happens a lot more often than you might think. The Guardian ad Litem recommendation is what won the case, in my opinion. Family Law Judges make weird decisions all the time. We did not expect to walk about with primary physical custody.

It happened to a good friend of mine just two years ago. Her kids were 12 and 14. They told the court they wanted to live with their dad. The judge gave dad primary custody. Mom ended up with every other weekend and a few weeks during the summer. A year later, dad moved across the country with the kids with the permission of the court. He just had to agree to pay for airline tickets twice a year.

The saddest part of your story is the obvious glee you feel after separating the mother from her young children. The mother who wasn't abusive or into drugs. And the fact that you were able to convince the judge tells me you actually planned and plotted that.

I wouldn't be bitter if my husband left me. But if his new wife planned and succeeded at taking my children away, her car would have mysteriously blown up at the most inopportune moment. With her inside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm. I've never wanted to be second at anything in life. Thankfully, I met a hot, smart and successful 25-year old when I was the same age. Both our salaries went through the roof in the first 5 years of our marriage.

My DH despises non-ambitious, non-intelligent women. Pretty gold-digger proof. You can spot then a mile away.

Lots of young attractive and intelligent women who are very accomplished that are available for the successful older man. Why settle for the older woman who is well past her prime in terms of looks and on a descending trajectory when there is the alternative of an attractive younger woman?

Because attractive younger women are more likely to go for successful younger men. Older men pick what's left after younger men paired up with younger women.

Bingo!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a second wife. My DH left his ex-wife for me. We didn't start seeing each other until after he had moved out of their home and the marriage was rocky at that point. However, he ultimately left her for me.

I hate to break it to some of you bitter ex-wives, but life turned out just fine for us. We got custody of both of my stepchildren when they were 4 and 7. They are adults now. I have a great relationship with both of them. They consider this "home". Their mother wasn't abusive. She wasn't a drug user or an alcoholic. We were just able to show the judge that it would be in best interest of the kids to live with us. The Guardian ad Litem assigned to our case recommended we get custody and that pretty much won the case for us. She got every other weekend and four weeks during the summer.

So...contrary to what many of you might want to believe, life is pretty damn good. Money is not an issue. We are not paying any child support at all. We did pay child support for two years ($2,700 a month in Georgia), but that gravy train stopped when we got custody of the kids. We were able to successfully blend our families - I had two, he had two, we have one together. They are all very close and consider each other brothers and sisters in every way because they were raised together. And we've been married over 20 years.

My advise as an ex-wife who was royally screwed by an ex-husband. Let go of the anger and bitterness. Life goes on. You don't have to forgive. But holding onto anger only hurts you and your children. tse

Something about this storyt doesn't add up.

A modern judge ((in a not-backwater county in the South who is not golfing partners with the divorcing father)) would NEVER award basically sole custody of a 4 year old when a healthy, mentally sharp, non-parolee mother is arguing for some equal share of custody.

Your life might be all roses, but your backstory seems off. At least in 2015 outside of honey boo boo land

This was in 14 years ago in Atlanta, Georgia. Not "backwater county" at all. And we didn't get sole custody. My DH and his ex had joint legal custody, but he had primary physical custody. It happens a lot more often than you might think. The Guardian ad Litem recommendation is what won the case, in my opinion. Family Law Judges make weird decisions all the time. We did not expect to walk about with primary physical custody.

It happened to a good friend of mine just two years ago. Her kids were 12 and 14. They told the court they wanted to live with their dad. The judge gave dad primary custody. Mom ended up with every other weekend and a few weeks during the summer. A year later, dad moved across the country with the kids with the permission of the court. He just had to agree to pay for airline tickets twice a year.

The saddest part of your story is the obvious glee you feel after separating the mother from her young children. The mother who wasn't abusive or into drugs. And the fact that you were able to convince the judge tells me you actually planned and plotted that.

I wouldn't be bitter if my husband left me. But if his new wife planned and succeeded at taking my children away, her car would have mysteriously blown up at the most inopportune moment. With her inside.

and then you would be in Prison and your children would be with your ex husband and his 3rd wife....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women don't age well so there is that plus to the younger second wife.

Guys may not age well if they don't take care of themselves but they have a shit-load more money which, believe it or not, lots of younger women find immensely attractive. Guys are drawn to attractive women and sex and women are drawn to a guy with money. Both are shallow in their own way in terms of their priorities.

If a woman is a single mother with younger children and primary custody, the problems finding another guy are compounded many fold which is why you have all those threads in the relationship forum on where to meet eligible guys if one is a single mother.

Not all guys make more money.

Who are these naive women who think that the money belongs to the men? All of the money is my family's. If we got divorced, he would get nothing. I would keep the house, the cars, everything. I might throw him a bone; more likely, I would give everything to my children and make damn sure he gets nothing. If he ever remarried, he would be either destitute, or living off the sloppy second wife.

Just when you think you know the whole story....surprise! You don't. Until it's too late.

You can listen to his version of events, or my version of events. But you will be in a living hell, regardless of what you hear.

[Anonymous]

family's = family (autocorrect)

[Anonymous]

My DH looks down on women who throw themselves at him. He knows they have low self esteem, and probably daddy issues. He has daughters, and does not want that as any kind of example for them.

"Easy" has never been his thing. He likes a challenge. Smart people like challenge in their lives, not "easy".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women don't age well so there is that plus to the younger second wife.

Guys may not age well if they don't take care of themselves but they have a shit-load more money which, believe it or not, lots of younger women find immensely attractive. Guys are drawn to attractive women and sex and women are drawn to a guy with money. Both are shallow in their own way in terms of their priorities.

If a woman is a single mother with younger children and primary custody, the problems finding another guy are compounded many fold which is why you have all those threads in the relationship forum on where to meet eligible guys if one is a single mother.

Not all guys make more money.

Who are these naive women who think that the money belongs to the men? All of the money is my family's. If we got divorced, he would get nothing. I would keep the house, the cars, everything. I might throw him a bone; more likely, I would give everything to my children and make damn sure he gets nothing. If he ever remarried, he would be either destitute, or living off the sloppy second wife.

Just when you think you know the whole story....surprise! You don't. Until it's too late.

You can listen to his version of events, or my version of events. But you will be in a living hell, regardless of what you hear.

You are an idiot.

When there is a divorce it is the woman is the one who is often left in the financial lurch and the man does not lose out to the same extent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH looks down on women who throw themselves at him. He knows they have low self esteem, and probably daddy issues. He has daughters, and does not want that as any kind of example for them.

"Easy" has never been his thing. He likes a challenge. Smart people like challenge in their lives, not "easy".

Don't know about your husband but I had a colleague who was good looking and intelligent and made good money. Women were all over him. His wife said pretty much what you just did .... and he was banging these women every chance he got.

But you are right about one thing: most men don't want their daughters to be anything like those women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women don't age well so there is that plus to the younger second wife.

Guys may not age well if they don't take care of themselves but they have a shit-load more money which, believe it or not, lots of younger women find immensely attractive. Guys are drawn to attractive women and sex and women are drawn to a guy with money. Both are shallow in their own way in terms of their priorities.

If a woman is a single mother with younger children and primary custody, the problems finding another guy are compounded many fold which is why you have all those threads in the relationship forum on where to meet eligible guys if one is a single mother.

Not all guys make more money.

Who are these naive women who think that the money belongs to the men? All of the money is my family's. If we got divorced, he would get nothing. I would keep the house, the cars, everything. I might throw him a bone; more likely, I would give everything to my children and make damn sure he gets nothing. If he ever remarried, he would be either destitute, or living off the sloppy second wife.

Just when you think you know the whole story....surprise! You don't. Until it's too late.

You can listen to his version of events, or my version of events. But you will be in a living hell, regardless of what you hear.

You are an idiot.

When there is a divorce it is the woman is the one who is often left in the financial lurch and the man does not lose out to the same extent.

Often, not always. Depends on who makes the money, whose family has the money, who has the children and how old they are.

I own my house. I make more money than my husband. We have a serviceable marriage. The question of divorce came up exactly once. He knows where he'd be - in an apartment, with three child support bills, every weekend taken by the kids whom he loves dearly, with half of control over their upbringing lost - uh huh, what a catch!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: and then you would be in Prison and your children would be with your ex husband and his 3rd wife....

nah it would be a clean operation.