Put your holiday IL rants here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made a really nice unique dessert for tgiving...carried it by hand on the plane, brought it to in laws, then took it to their relatives for the dinner and it was taken from me and put away "with the other desserts." Dessert time rolled around and all they have are chocolate chip cookies, brownies, and the little cups of ice cream. My painstakingly prepared dish is gone. No one can find it. I searched everywhere myself. Interestingly, mil and her brother spent a lot of time in the dessert area (the garage) carving the turkeys. No idea how it just disappeared with both of them there. I felt really terribly about it and my husband said I was being "Snotty" and I should just get over it.(bc I asked him to check the car and asked him to ask his cousin where it was - cousin took it from me when we walked in)

Was it pudding by any chance?

LOL!!

PP, that would have upset me, too. Next time just hang onto it until dessert time, when you can suddenly "remember" it and whip it out. What was the dessert?

[Anonymous]

Dh and I drove 6 hours to his parents' town today. They are divorced and consequently there are 2 of evetything for the holidays. Plan, as set by mil, was tgiving lunch at her house and tgiving dinner at his dad's. Dh calls to tell her we will be arriving in 20 min. She tells us to stop by Burger King for her to get her lunch, and to get something for ourselves too if we are hungry, bc she doesn't have food at her house.

My jaw dropped. Burger King. After we've been on the road for 6 hours. And it's thanksgiving.


Was burger king even open on Thanksgiving? Or maybe that's the only place open.

it wasn't open. neither was wendy's. tgiving lunch at her house consisted of ginger ale, water, and 2 lunchables divided among 3 adults.

not kidding.

actual lunchables--the crackers, cheese, ham.

This sounds just like my MIL, also divorced. When my kids were small, we used to drive there (3 hours away) and visit. We would get there, and there'd be no food in the house, and the bedrooms we were supposed to sleep in would be a mess, with the beds covered in boxes, clothing, etc. My DH insists his mom was not this way growing up...yeah, right. We learned to call from the road to see what we could pick up from the grocery store on the way in. Then, we'd still spend an hour setting up the bedrooms and doing laundry. Yes, laundry, because there would be no clean towels or anything.

We started cutting back on our visits, because it was just too hard to go there, since she never prepared for us, and had many breakable items all over her house and would get angry if the kids touched any of them. She then started complaining to other relatives that we never visited. In particular, she complained to her sister, whose grandchildren would always visit. Of course, MIL didn't seem to notice that auntie had child-proofed her house, always had food when they visited, and made more of an effort.

(Meanwhile, MIL didn't like to come visit us, because she's always had three or more pets, and doesn't want to leave them, or take them to a kennel).

The kids are older now, and it's much easier to go see her. But it still makes me sad thinking of it. She is the only grandmother the kids have, because my mom died when I was 6. I wish they could have known my mom, who would have been willing to do more for them when they were little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I make a macaroni and cheese that ppl in my family love, MIL included. She asked me if I would make it for thanksgiving dinner. I said ok. Asked her if I could make it at her house and she agreed, and even offered to get the groceries needed for it. Dh and I get over to her house, she tells me that "the groceries are over on the counter, but the mixing bowls, casserole dish etc are dirty and You should wash them."

I found this incredibly rude. I'm Not your maid!

Good Gravy, I can see my mom saying this to me, it's family big deal.
People are so sensitive about stupid stuff.

+1 This is something that happens all the time at my mother or MIL's house. If she just cooked a meal for a dozen people I would feel bad not helping with the dishes. What pisses me off is when my husband doesn't help out. Just because you have a penis doesn't mean you can't help in the kitchen.

It's far more appropriate to ask your own child to clean/do something rather than your daughter in law.

Oh come on! If you've been married for a few years it's perfectly acceptable for your MIL to ask that. It's a lot of work to cook a meal for everyone, it's no big deal if you have to clean up the bowls before cooking.

Totally disagree. If someone asks you to make something, the least they can do is have the necessary dishes cleaned for you.

[Anonymous]

We spent Thanksgiving here at our friends' house, and then Friday DH hopped on a plane for some leftovers with his family, while I stay home with the kids over the weekend. He avoided the holiday travel, and I avoided the inlaws. Win-win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Dh and I drove 6 hours to his parents' town today. They are divorced and consequently there are 2 of evetything for the holidays. Plan, as set by mil, was tgiving lunch at her house and tgiving dinner at his dad's. Dh calls to tell her we will be arriving in 20 min. She tells us to stop by Burger King for her to get her lunch, and to get something for ourselves too if we are hungry, bc she doesn't have food at her house.

My jaw dropped. Burger King. After we've been on the road for 6 hours. And it's thanksgiving.


Was burger king even open on Thanksgiving? Or maybe that's the only place open.

it wasn't open. neither was wendy's. tgiving lunch at her house consisted of ginger ale, water, and 2 lunchables divided among 3 adults.

not kidding.

actual lunchables--the crackers, cheese, ham.

This sounds just like my MIL, also divorced. When my kids were small, we used to drive there (3 hours away) and visit. We would get there, and there'd be no food in the house, and the bedrooms we were supposed to sleep in would be a mess, with the beds covered in boxes, clothing, etc. My DH insists his mom was not this way growing up...yeah, right. We learned to call from the road to see what we could pick up from the grocery store on the way in. Then, we'd still spend an hour setting up the bedrooms and doing laundry. Yes, laundry, because there would be no clean towels or anything.

We started cutting back on our visits, because it was just too hard to go there, since she never prepared for us, and had many breakable items all over her house and would get angry if the kids touched any of them. She then started complaining to other relatives that we never visited. In particular, she complained to her sister, whose grandchildren would always visit. Of course, MIL didn't seem to notice that auntie had child-proofed her house, always had food when they visited, and made more of an effort.

(Meanwhile, MIL didn't like to come visit us, because she's always had three or more pets, and doesn't want to leave them, or take them to a kennel).

The kids are older now, and it's much easier to go see her. But it still makes me sad thinking of it. She is the only grandmother the kids have, because my mom died when I was 6. I wish they could have known my mom, who would have been willing to do more for them when they were little.

+100000

I know what you mean, unfortunately.

[Anonymous]

I am fortunate to have good in-laws, but they do have their quirks. They are like snails - they leave a trail wherever they go. Splenda crystals, coffee drips, crumbs, empty wine glasses and beer bottles, you name it. And they drink up all my wine. MIL actually puts ice cubes in her wine glass because she doesn't want to wait for the wine to chill. They left yesterday morning and I spent the rest of the day doing laundry and cleaning up after them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This forum is marked as a place to "rant" and I have a lot of ranting to do. I don't need feedback, I know being small and mean, but I really, truly dislike my BIL and his family. They are entitled and snobby and fake. I hate being around them and dread every encounter. I try not to drag all this out in front of my DH or my children, so hear I am.

Yes! I can't stand my sil and her family.
The house is cold. No it's not acceptable to wear
Outdoor clothing to save a nickel heating when guests are over.

The husband can't cook, food was bad.

Sil didn't bother to even set a table.

Never again.

[Anonymous]

I know this is very petty, but it bothers me. MIL and her boyfriend are here; whenever we take them out somewhere and pay for it (restaurant, tourist attraction, movie, etc.), they say thank you to my DH and not to me. It's one thing to generically say thanks for the movie, but weird to me to say "Thank you, DH" and not me, while I'm standing right there, having used my credit card to pay.

Then again, that's if they can even be bothered to say thanks to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sil broke a wine glass and mil screamed at her that she was cut off from drinking. Like seriously. I pulled out two glasses and poured them to the tippy top for us I have yet to figure out why my sil puts up with it. She treats their kids the same way. My husband and I had a discussion last night about how if his mom can't handle the stress of hosting without screaming at everyone, but has a fit if someone else suggest hosting, then we'll have to branch out and do our own thing for hilidays. This was the last holiday our daughter won't catch on to the tension.

Are you me? My MIL was recently complaining about hosting the holidays and how she can't wait for the next generation to take over. I piped in that we were excited to host Christmas this year and was met with a stony silence. She realized pretty quickly that I also intend to invite my family if I'm hosting and she is insanely jealous of any time spent with my side. Plus, she can't scream at my SIL with "new" people there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I make a macaroni and cheese that ppl in my family love, MIL included. She asked me if I would make it for thanksgiving dinner. I said ok. Asked her if I could make it at her house and she agreed, and even offered to get the groceries needed for it. Dh and I get over to her house, she tells me that "the groceries are over on the counter, but the mixing bowls, casserole dish etc are dirty and You should wash them."

I found this incredibly rude. I'm Not your maid!

Good Gravy, I can see my mom saying this to me, it's family big deal.
People are so sensitive about stupid stuff.

+1 This is something that happens all the time at my mother or MIL's house. If she just cooked a meal for a dozen people I would feel bad not helping with the dishes. What pisses me off is when my husband doesn't help out. Just because you have a penis doesn't mean you can't help in the kitchen.

It's far more appropriate to ask your own child to clean/do something rather than your daughter in law.

Oh come on! If you've been married for a few years it's perfectly acceptable for your MIL to ask that. It's a lot of work to cook a meal for everyone, it's no big deal if you have to clean up the bowls before cooking.

Yep.

+1 Keep in mind your MIL is in the middle of cooking everything else for Thanksgiving. I hosted (not a MIL, but a DIL) and I was so grateful for people who helped wash and cook. I probably ordered a few people to do this.

Now if you had come in to cook the whole meal and your MIL had saved up her dirty dishes for you to do before you got started, I'd have another impression entirely. But I am really shocked at the ingrate responses to washing a mixing bowl or two that your MIL, who will be wining and dining you, had just used.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am fortunate to have good in-laws, but they do have their quirks. They are like snails - they leave a trail wherever they go. Splenda crystals, coffee drips, crumbs, empty wine glasses and beer bottles, you name it. And they drink up all my wine. MIL actually puts ice cubes in her wine glass because she doesn't want to wait for the wine to chill. They left yesterday morning and I spent the rest of the day doing laundry and cleaning up after them.

This just sounds like the regular annoyances of having guests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This forum is marked as a place to "rant" and I have a lot of ranting to do. I don't need feedback, I know being small and mean, but I really, truly dislike my BIL and his family. They are entitled and snobby and fake. I hate being around them and dread every encounter. I try not to drag all this out in front of my DH or my children, so hear I am.

Yes! I can't stand my sil and her family.
The house is cold. No it's not acceptable to wear
Outdoor clothing to save a nickel heating when guests are over.

The husband can't cook, food was bad.

Sil didn't bother to even set a table.

Never again.

Did they try to be welcoming to you?

[Anonymous]

DH told his mom that it would be best if she stayed in a hotel during her time here at Christmas (long history there) and, among other things in her rant-ish reply, she accused us of trying to "kennel her like a dog."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are driving 90min to see SIL and BIL this weekend for hot chocolate because apparently "we never invite them over" and "they can't afford to have us over for an actual meal". MIL guilted DH into it.

They're a dual income couple, each pulling in 6 figures, no kids, just bought a new car and they're spending 2wks in Australia this winter. We make 75K combined, with a 6yo, and we invite them down at least once a month. They consistently say yes and then never show up (with no notice), even to things like birthday parties or dinners where 2 no shows make a big difference.

I'm just glad they're not coming to Xmas this year. Last year they told DH that he should have made "better choices in life" in front of me and DD (who is mine from a previous marriage) bc we couldn't afford to do some ridiculously expensive outing (that was not kid friendly) with them. I'm sure they'll have LOTS to say when we tell everyone that I'm pregnant.

Ugh, they sound miserable to be around. Congrats on your pregnancy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH told his mom that it would be best if she stayed in a hotel during her time here at Christmas (long history there) and, among other things in her rant-ish reply, she accused us of trying to "kennel her like a dog."

HAHAHA, sorry PP but I have to laugh at this one. If my MIL wasn't local, I could totally hear her saying the same thing.

She one time offered to help us clean an old house after we moved out. When we took her up on her offer she accused us of treating her like our maid. Uh, what? I did it myself, 30 weeks pregnant. Thanks for the offer MIL!